Chapter 2: Shameless Motherfucker
My consciousness snapped back to the real world, the infinite, untouchable library fading from my mind. A library I couldn't even use? What a fucking joke. Typical cosmic bullshit.
"Whatever. Lunchtime. Gotta keep my strength up if I'm gonna con a few more suckers this afternoon," I muttered, patting my stomach.
One student out of eighteen. Pathetic. A fucking embarrassment. Back in my world, even the shittiest multi-level marketing scheme had a better conversion rate. I needed to up my game. These ancient-era chumps were supposed to be easy marks for a modern-day hustler like me.
The academy canteen was a massive, noisy hall, a lot like the one from my shitty high school back on Earth, just with more people in robes and less mystery meat. Riding the high of my first successful scam, I splurged on a few extra side dishes and found a corner table to enjoy my ill-gotten peace.
"Well, well, if it isn't the illustrious Teacher Zhang Xuan?"
The voice was slick, fake-friendly, and instantly annoying. I looked up from my plate to see Cao Xiong smirking down at me. This guy. The original Zhang Xuan's personal nemesis. A fellow teacher who got his rocks off by comparing his mediocre achievements to the previous host's epic failures. This dickweed was probably a big reason the poor bastard drank himself into giving me this body.
"Cao Xiong," I said, my voice flat. I didn't have time for his shit.
"Today's the day for recruiting new students. You seem to be in a good mood, enjoying a feast! Does that mean your recruitment is going well?" he asked, his tone oozing fake concern. He didn't wait for an answer, gesturing grandly behind him. "Look at my humble lot. Only twelve students so far. Just taking them for a meal before showing them to their dorms."
Bragging. Of course he's fucking bragging.
A bunch of wide-eyed kids stood behind him, looking around the canteen with awe. Perfect audience for his bullshit.
"Gentlemen," Cao Xiong announced, his voice dripping with mock reverence. "Allow me to introduce a true celebrity of Hongtian Academy. This is Teacher Zhang Xuan! He holds a record that may never be broken—the first and only teacher to score a perfect zero in the Academy's Teacher Qualification Examination! A true historical figure!"
The little shits behind him immediately started whispering, their voices carrying perfectly.
"Zero? How is that even possible?" "I heard about that!He made a student's cultivation go berserk!" "My cousin told me to avoid him at all costs!He said it's basically suicide!" "He looks so...normal. How deceptive!"
I just took a bite of my food. Chewed slowly. Their words meant nothing. That was the old Zhang Xuan. His failure was my fucking opportunity.
"You done?" I asked, finally swallowing. "If the introductions are over, you can fuck off. Some of us are trying to eat."
Cao Xiong's smug face faltered. He clearly expected me to cower in shame. "D-Done? How can you be so... so unrepentant! You scored a zero! Don't you feel any shame?"
I put down my chopsticks and looked him dead in the eye. A beautiful, beautiful idea forming in my brilliantly shameless mind.
"Shame? Why the hell should I feel shame?" I said, my voice rising so the kids could hear. "You said it yourself. I broke a record. I'm famous. Every single new student knows my name the second they step through the goddamn gate. But you?" I pointed a dismissive finger at him and his little flock. "What did you score on your exam, huh? Do they know? Did they know your name before they got here? Or did you have to beg them, promise them the moon, and probably buy their fucking lunch just to get them to acknowledge you?"
I leaned forward, a wide, shit-eating grin spreading across my face. "You're a nobody. A forgettable footnote. And you have the audacity to stand there and feel superior to me? What the fuck are you so proud of?"
Cao Xiong's face turned the color of a boiled lobster. He sputtered, completely lost for words. The students behind him stared, utterly bewildered. This was not how this script was supposed to go.
His reputation? His standing? I didn't give a single fuck. In my world, any publicity was good publicity. Zero points? That just made me a conversation starter.
"T-The core of teaching is... is instruction!" he finally stammered, deflecting. "I won't squabble with you here! Let's see you actually get a student first! Then we'll see whose student is stronger!"
He turned to leave, his pride visibly bruised.
Just then, a familiar voice cut through the canteen noise. It was my mark. My one and only student, Wang Ying.
"...but he seemed really knowledgeable. He said my leg was an opportunity..." her hesitant, dazed voice floated over.
A older man's voice, frazzled and desperate, answered her. "Second Young Mistress, please! Your brother entrusted me to take you to Teacher Lu Xun! This man... this Zhang Xuan... he's a fraud! He's the worst teacher in the academy! He scored zero! If your brother finds out, he'll have my head!"
My perfect, beautiful scam was unraveling before my eyes.
Cao Xiong heard it too. His face lit up with malicious glee. He turned back to me, his confidence returning. "Oh, Teacher Zhang! Is that your one student? Sounds like she's having... second thoughts. How unfortunate."
The old servant, a man Wang Ying called 'Uncle Liu', marched over to my table, a determined look on his face. Wang Ying trailed behind him, looking mortified.
"Teacher Zhang," the old man said, puffing his chest out. "The Young Mistress of our family has decided to withdraw from your class!"
"Old Liu, I..." Wang Ying tried to interject, her face flushed red with apology.
I didn't let her finish. I slammed my mental brakes on this disaster.
"Wang Ying," I said, my voice shifting instantly into the weary, profound tone of a misunderstood master. "You know I am a man of solitude. I do not accept students lightly. I accepted you only because I saw a spark of destiny. A flicker of unparalleled potential. Why would you throw away such a rare opportunity? Do you have any idea how many aspirants beg for my guidance, only to be turned away?"
I heard a choking sound from somewhere in the canteen. Probably some fucker who knew the truth and was trying not to laugh. Or vomit.
"I... I didn't..." Wang Ying stammered, completely thrown by my performance.
"Withdraw?" I cut in, turning my stern gaze to the old servant. "You should consider the consequences carefully. Withdrawing from a teacher's class leaves a permanent mark. A stain on her record. What other teacher would dare accept a student who so publicly insulted a colleague? Are you, a mere servant, prepared to ruin your Young Mistress's entire future over this? Can you bear that responsibility?"
Uncle Liu paled. I'd hit him right in his duty-bound, servant-class guilt. He faltered, the wind gone from his sails. "I... that is..."
"Rest assured," I said, my voice softening into a benevolent purr. "Your Young Mistress has remarkable talent. Under my guidance, she will undoubtedly—"
"Hold it right there!" Cao Xiong's voice rang out, smug and triumphant. He couldn't resist. The fucking opportunist. "Who says no other teacher would accept her? Young lady! If you withdraw from this charlatan's class, I, Teacher Cao Xiong, will accept you immediately!"
I shot him a death glare. "Cao Xiong. You're publicly poaching my student?"
"Poaching? Such an ugly word," he chuckled. "Let's call it... giving the young lady a fair choice. We can advise her together, right here. Let her choose which teacher is more suitable. Do you even dare to compete?"
The arrogant fuck. He thought he had me. He thought my student was already his.
Little did he know, he was just stepping onto my turf. A hustler's game. And I was the goddamn king.
"Fine," I said, a slow, dangerous smile spreading across my face. "You want a competition? Let's fucking compete."