Earth-200207: January 1992
Toni was pretty sure she didn't use to have eidetic memory. The concept of being able to remember everything that you had ever seen in your life was not appealing when you were a walking, talking PTSD nutjob. Her nightmares and flashbacks were awful enough without having to remember the specifics, thank you very much.
Where was she? Ah right, Toni didn't use to have eidetic memory.
And yet, here she was, standing in the middle of the ballroom surrounded by the smartest the US of A could offer, with two lifetimes of memories stuck in her head.
She swirled the mocktail in her chalice and sipped at it, pretending not to see the people milling around whispering to each other about how 'tragic' the accident had been and 'what was going to happen now to Stark Industries now' and blah blah blah.
She remembered Tony Stark's return to the public eye at this very same event, all those years ago. Tony Stark had been grieving and had hid it under a lot of underage drinking and flirty schmoozing with the rich and powerful geniuses around. Ty had not been around at that point in time anymore, but Tony had not let that stop him from cultivating his playboy persona. Stane had ended up driving him home at the end of the event because he was too drunk, and his picture had made it first page on the entertainment news the very next day.
In contrast, Toni Stark's return to the public eye had been much less chaotic. She had accepted the condolences people offered with all the poise and elegance that she had been taught in this second life. She had smiled when she needed to, stared in silence when she wanted to, and openly ignored when she chose to. Jarvis was around, waiting for her to be done so he could drive her back home, and she had not even glanced twice at the alcohol being shared all around.
It was different and yet it was the same.
If she had to properly describe it, it was like when you looked at a fixed object with just one eye, and then, without moving, looked at the same object with the other eye. Nothing actually changed, but it was all just ever so slightly shifted.
Rhodey was still her best friend. He had just joined the Air Force officially, and he was still two years older than her. But this time around their friendship was slightly altered, slightly different than what she was used to.
There was a brand of protectiveness coating his every action that had not been there the first time around.
Don't misunderstand, Rhodey had been fiercely protective of Tony Stark, taking the 'small lost white boy' under his wing upon their first meeting; they shared a dorm, after all.
He and Toni did not share a dorm. They had met at a party, if her second set of memories was to be trusted, where Toni had been cornered by a bunch of asshole juniors, and he had basically saved her from what would have been a terrible regret, appointing himself as her 'knight in shining armour'.
Their dynamic was similar to the original one, from what Toni could see and remember. Even though he was straight and this time around she was a girl, he had made no move on her the entire time they had known each other. Then again, there was the whole 'I knew you since you were a kid, it's weird' thing, so maybe it made sense.
But other things had changed. Some had changed by themselves, in a way that was not at all connected to Toni herself. For example, Sharon Carter and Hope Van Dyne were older, this time around.
In the original timeline, Sharon had been two years younger than Tony Stark, and Hope had been five years younger. This time around, both Sharon and Hope were just a year younger than Toni Stark was. And surprisingly - or maybe not - they were much closer to her than they had been the first time around.
Hank Pym had yet to make an appearance in her life since the accident, but Hope had reached out both at the funeral and after, offering her a shoulder to cry on and a strong friendship. Sharon had literally moved in the mansion with her (since it was winter break and all) along with Peggy Carter.
Those changes had nothing to do with Toni herself.
Then there were some changes that had everything to do with her.
When the Universe broke, Tony Stark had expected to die. To cease to exist, just like his Universe had.
And instead of dying, he had woken up in an unfamiliar bed in a familiar house, with two lifetimes - similar but not - crammed into his head and in a body that did not belong to him, in a Universe that was not his own with that same bracelet still on her wrist.
And when his- her screams had brought Jarvis - the original, the dead Jarvis - and mamma rushing into her room?
Tony Stark was many things, but sane and well adjusted wasn't one of them. And considering who her mother was - Maria 'Xanax' Stark - the psychotic break had not surprised anyone.
But give her a break: the last thing Anthony Edward Stark saw was his best friend and his fiancé dying before he basically committed suicide; and the next second he was waking up in his childhood bed in the body of Antoinette Evelyn Stark. She was entitled to a freak out, free of charge.
Howard hadn't come with them to the hospital, and at the time Toni had been happy. She was trying to figure out what the fuck was happening, if this was an hallucination of sorts or some cruel after life hell, but Howard Stark's presence was a 100% certain way of making it worse. So even as she kept screaming her head off, the part of her that registered him leaving out of the door simply thought 'good riddance'.
It wasn't until she had been at the hospital and had stopped screaming and panicking that her head had turned and she had noticed the calendar. It wasn't until then that she had seen the date on the calendar, and her screams had started up again, this time begging her mother to call Howard, to tell him to come back because something was about to happen, something was about to go wrong.
She had been sedated after that, and put to sleep for six hours.
When she had woken up again, Maria Stark was silently crying at her side and Toni knew that it had happened again.
The Winter Soldier had killed her father.
Again.
And the last time they saw each other, no 'I love yous' were exchanged.
Again.
And she felt guilty about her father's death.
Again.
+++
Howard Stark's funeral was at the same time much easier and more complicated than it had been the first time around.
The first time, Tony Stark had gotten himself black out drunk after the news, and had it not been for the combined might of Obadiah Stane, Peggy Carter and Edwin Jarvis, the entire affair would have been a disaster. Thanks to them, he had ended up dressed appropriately, and wearing dark shades to match his clothing and then he had attended the ceremony - the parade - for less than an hour before making his excuses.
His heart had been breaking the entire time, but he had managed to keep the tears at bay, only letting himself cry when he returned to the mansion and saw his mother's piano still open in the living room.
This time around, Toni did not get herself drunk - which probably confused a lot of people. But honestly after the spending the last two years - original timeline wise - avoiding alcohol, the habit had carried with.
Perhaps it helped that this time around she was only burying Howard Stark, and that her mamma was at her side as she did so.
Her relationship with Howard had always been complicated, and trying to understand him led to nothing. Her final theory in the previous timeline was that Howard Stark did not like Tony Stark at all, but he did love him as his own. He was, unfortunately, a terrible father, and did not know how to push away the dislike enough to show the love.
In this timeline, their relationship was even more confusing. Howard had never hid how much he had wished Toni was a boy - ah, the irony - but at the same time, he had spent a lot more time around Toni than he had around Tony. Taught her a lot more about being CEO than he had the first time around, dragged her to meet the Board and SI's R&D department a lot more.
Toni wasn't sure if she should consider this inherent misogyny or if she should consider it as Howard being protective.
Still, she couldn't help but grieve. Not openly - 'Starks are made of Iron' - but she did grieve her father. She grieved their last interaction, and she grieved that she hadn't had the chance to say goodbye. Together with everyone who had showed up at the funeral she grieved Howard Stark.
And alone, she grieved for an entire Universe that had been destroyed by a single madman snapping his fingers.
+++
"Mamma," she called, hours after the funeral.
Maria Stark had not said much after Toni had woken up from her sedation to find out that Howard Stark had passed. She had cried for about a minute or two, and then had seemingly woken up.
Tony Stark had loved his mother. He had loved Maria Stark to the point where he tried to get into a fist fight with two enhanced super soldiers when he had found out the truth behind her death.
But she had never been a particularly good mother. She had told him she loved him, and he knew she meant it. But she was Howard Stark's wife first, a famous and important philanthropist socialite second, and a mother third. She had been around his whole life, sure, but she had not raised him, not like the Jarvises and various nannies had.
Toni Stark felt similarly about her own Maria Stark.
But instead of falling into depression and getting more pills after Howard's untimely demise, Maria Stark had seemingly decided to switch her priorities around. She had put the self medication back in the cupboard and taken charge before Obadiah Stane could even say the word 'grooming'.
She had planned the entire funeral, identified Howard's body herself, dealt with the press, gave the relevant statements and protected Howard's assets while at the same time keeping Toni sequestered in her bed, with Ana and Edwin helping every now and then.
They hadn't really had a chance to speak, not even to explain the breakdown, but they had never been too apart from each other during the whole ordeal.
This was the first time they were completely alone - the Jarvises were in their own rooms - since Toni had woken up in the wrong Universe.
Her mother was sitting on one of Toni's sofas with her eyes closed, but she opened her eyes when Toni spoke. "Yes, tesoro?"
Toni eyed her for a second. Looked at how almost relaxed she seemed, her long blonde hair untied under the black veiled widow headpiece. She considered it for a second, then decided to say fuck it. "Howard did not die in a car crash."
Maria eyed her back with the same expression on her face, brown eyes studying her carefully before she spoke. "Howard died. And there was a car crash before he did so."
"Correlation not causation," said Toni, and her mother gave her a small smile. They lapsed in silence for a few more minutes more before Toni spoke up again. "I am not happy Howard died. But I am glad that I had my breakdown and caused you to stay with me and not die."
Maria slowly stood up from the couch and sat down on the bed next to Toni, gloved fingers interlocking with hers, as she pressed a kiss on her cheek through the veil. "I am glad I did not die too. You would have been alone."
She did not know the half of it. She thought of the previous timeline and Stane, and abruptly turned to her mother again.
"I'm going to get a degree in Business," she said. "Doesn't have to be MIT. While I do that, I want Aunt Peggy to train both of us. And I want you to get a bodyguard. If whoever took out dad decides to take us out too, or if someone tries to get us out of the way," Stane, "I want us to have our best chance. I have the feeling our hardships have just begun."
Her mother did not let go of her hand, but her expression turned even more considering than before. "Is it the same feeling that made you know Howard was going to die before the accident?"
So her mother had not forgotten about that. "Yes."
Surprisingly - or maybe not? - Maria did not push that further. "I'm already one step ahead of you. I am calling in a couple of debts with the famiglia."
Family, automatically translated Toni's brain, before she stilled. "From your mom's side or your dad's side?"
Maria smiled, and this time the smile was all teeth. "Mom."
Toni wondered if the original Maria Stark would have done the same thing had she survived. Then decided it didn't matter.
Standing there with the glass in her hands, Toni considered Obadiah Stane once more. He had insisted on accompanying her to this gala, but Toni had not given him a chance, implicating Edwin before he could even try.
Her first instinct when she had realised she was in some sort of alternate Universe had been 'fix everything'. She had spent a couple of nights thinking of a world without Stark weapons, without Gulmira, without Stane.
Then she had woken up and realised that was not going to work. At all.
First of all she wasn't CEO yet. And would not be CEO until she was 21. Right now, as per Howard's will, Stane and Maria Stark were sharing the role between the two of them, and would continue to do so until Toni was of age. Well, Stane was acting as CEO, but Maria had the final say.
Stane couldn't be ousted until she was finally CEO, but he also couldn't be ousted until Toni was able to prove that he was selling under the table. She had enough knowledge from the original timeline to know that Howard was never involved with that bullshit, but she did not know when Stane had started. It was sort of hard to ask anything to a dead man.
And as much as she wanted to close the weapon manufacturing, she couldn't do that yet.
In 2009 Stark Industries had been a multi billion global company with various sectors, with weapons manufacturing being the biggest. In 1991, Stark Industries was a big name, but was just a multi million national company that survived almost exclusively on military contracts.
Toni was confident in her inventions, but most of her cooler non weaponized inventions had arrived after she had managed to amass a certain amount of power on the Board and money for herself and the company. She couldn't just turn 21 and close weapons manufacturing.
She might be able to save her company from complete failure, but it would take time, and it would destroy too many jobs.
Which meant that, as much as she wished, she couldn't close the weapons section. She would have to cough up more dangerous and deadly gadgets for the military before she could do anything she wanted. The only thing she could actually do was try and create some sort of GPS system or tracking system that would be manufactured with the weapons, so that she would be physically able to track them (ugh, and she needed more satellites for that).
And, had she actually left the weapons biz behind? What was she outfitting the Avengers with, if not weapons? What did the guns on the War Machine armour do? The arrows in Hawkeye's quiver didn't tickle people.
She would leave the weapons business behind, but she couldn't until she had done a bunch of other things before. She'd make the Board their weapons and prove that she was Toni fucking Stark, but she would do other things too. Start opening other sectors; focus on defense as well as offense. Medicine, technology, communication, prosthetics... Toni was in the past with almost 30 years of future knowledge and while she would not go out of her way to purposefully fuck anyone over, she would be ready by the time the bigger breakthroughs came through.
So for now, she'd have to bid her time. She wouldn't push Stane's lying ass to the curb, but she would keep a very keen eye on the man. Her reputation would not become the joke it had before, because she wouldn't allow herself to become a drunk and drugged up playgirl, and Maria Stark especially wouldn't allow that. She would-
Her train of thought came to a halting stop when she blinked and noticed the man who had stopped next to her, seemingly not having noticed her as he reached to take something from the tray closer to her. "Hey," she said, her mouth moving before her mind could catch up with her.
He turned to look at her in question and blinked in surprise when he noticed who was standing next to him.
Toni in turn was also very surprised to see him; and then figured that she shouldn't have been. They had spoken on that spaceship, as they made their way to Titan, and it had not taken her that long to determine that not only he was a genius, but the 'doctor' in his name was not his superhero name. She had never asked him his age either, but even with the silver streaks in his hair, he hadn't looked that much older than original Tony Stark.
"Miss Stark," he said, offering a hand. "A pleasure to meet you. My name is Stephen Strange."
"Mr Strange," she said, frowning slightly at the straight shock that came when their hands touched. He frowned right back and she patted her own hand, speaking again. "I have heard of you."
The man looked back up at her, and there was no surprise at all on his face. "All good things, I presume?"
Ever since she had arrived on this timeline, Toni had been very aware that she was the only one who remembered anything. She wasn't sure if it was because of the bracelet or because of something else, but even when she had taken it off and put it on Edwin Jarvis' wrist, nothing had actually changed.
Perhaps Strange as a wizard and the man playing with the time stone... "Apparently you are some sort of genius in your field. Something to do with medicine, right?" She knew better than to specifically mention neurosurgery; for all she knew he had not decided on a specification yet and she would start to look suspicious.
Strange looked pleased. "Yes. All I heard about you were questions on who you will be taking home tonight..." he trailed off and Toni suddenly remembered just how annoying the man had been the entire short time they had known each other.
Little arrogant and smug bastard. She kept her expression blank. "Ah, yes. I already got two degrees in the bag, engineering and artificial intelligence. Thinking of going back for business, physics and maybe some doctorates," she said placidly, enjoying quite a bit the impressed look he tried to hide behind a façade.
"Ambitious," he said, and Toni shook her head.
"Not for me," she said, hiding a smile behind a glass when he looked more irritated than impressed now. It was deserved. She was pretty sure that he didn't remember anything, but she still had to try. "Oh, I have been wondering. Have you by any chance heard of the name Thanos?"
She stared at him in a manner Rhodey - in both timelines - had told her was quite unnerving, but there was no hint of recognition in the doctor's (not a doctor yet) eyes. "Not that I know of. Describe him?"
Toni shook her head, keeping her disappointment and slight frustration from showing up. "Trust me. If you knew Thanos, you wouldn't need a description." She put down the glass and looked anywhere but him, patting down her dress. "See you around, Strange."
He might have said something more but Toni was already moving. It was totally unnecessary and perhaps a little childish of her, but the fact that Strange of all people did not remember was hitting her harder than she had thought it would.
She was pretty sure it was his fault that she somehow remembered her entire lifetime, but he had given her nothing except that stupid bracelet with that stupid orange butterfly that so far seemed to be nothing but a fashion statement.
She shouldn't be angry at him, because this Strange had done nothing to her in so far except act as arrogantly as she would have, but...
He should remember! It wasn't fair that she was the only one to know of the impending end of the world coming in about 30 years or less. Why did she have to carry such a burden? She barely even understood the Infinit-
She nearly crashed against someone, only his hands on her naked shoulders stopping her. She looked up at him, eyes widening in surprise and he immediately let go of her, cheeks burning bright. "I am so sorry, Miss Stark, I didn't-"
"Doctor Banner," she said, an honest smile finally appearing on her face as he stammered excuses.
In the original timeline, Tony Stark had been somewhat aware of Doctor Banner before he decided to enhance himself. They hadn't met before, but Tony had been intrigued by him, considering they always seemed to be 'battling' each other in the top 5 of the smartest geniuses in the world in the Scientifica, the best scientific magazine out there.
He blinked at her. "You know me?"
She smiled even brighter, taking an arm he had not offered. "Of course I do. Are you not currently number two on the Scientifica?"
He seemed even more surprised, a slight blush on his face, as he followed her to a couple of chairs. "You read the Scientifica?"
Toni mock scowled. "Of course I do. I might be a spoiled rich girl, but I am also a genius, you know."
He seemed chagrined, but unlike original Bruce Banner he did not immediately stammer an apology, push her away or try to get away from the limelight and the whispers that came from the two of them sitting together and chatting. "Right, circuit board at four. Honestly, that alone should put you at number one."
Toni snorted, rolling her eyes. "My genius showed up early, but you never know. That could have been my peak."
Bruce gave her an unimpressed look. "You started MIT at 14 years of age and graduated at 17 with two different degrees, Miss Stark. I don't think you have gotten to your peak yet."
She smiled, and something in her softened. He wasn't her science bro, not yet, but he wasn't a complete stranger either. He also wasn't the man who had fled the fallout of Ultron or who had stood by as she was choked by god, or who had immediately accused Tony Stark of 'losing another superbot' less than an hour after reuniting with him again.
He might not know her, and she definitely did not know this almost confident Hulk-less version of him, but she had absolutely no interest in waiting until 2012 to officially meet him again (if the events of the original timeline continued as they had).
"Call me Toni," she said, offering him her hand.
Bruce took it with no hesitation and a smile of his own. "Only if you call me Bruce."
"Sure thing, Brucie Bear," she said, her grin widening at the slightly constipated expression he made at the nickname. "Now tell me more about your latest theory on gamma radiation."