Sasha set his fork down with the gravitas of a man who'd just singlehandedly saved the world.
Clink.
Then he leaned back in the booth, a dramatic little sigh escaping his lips as if the plate of chocolate cake crumbs before him had been a Boss Battle. His cheeks were pink, his sweater crooked like he'd wrestled a bear, and his glass of chocolate milk was long empty.
But that didn't stop him from picking it up anyway and tipping it back like the crowned prince of Absolutely Nothing.
Slurp. Slurrrrrp. Sllll—
And then—
"…brrrrrp."
Oh.
Oh no.
The burp rang out in the quiet little café like a trumpet announcing the end of the world.
Sasha froze mid-gulp, his wide doe eyes snapping up like a deer caught mid-sprint. His hand flew to his mouth in shock.
And then… the giggling started.
He. Was. Giggling.
"Oops," he whispered through his fingers, shoulders shaking with helpless little laughs, peeking up through his lashes at Dominic — completely unaware he'd just triggered a full-on existential crisis in the man across from him.
Dominic did not flinch. He did not blink.
He sat there, dead silent. Dark eyes locked on the boy like he was the final question on a pop quiz — the kind you stare at for twenty minutes, sweat running down your temple, wondering if you should just… leave it blank.
Why.
Why did this disaster of a human giggle at his own burp like it was the funniest thing to happen this decade?
Why did that stupid little chocolate-smudged smile curl at the corner of his mouth like that?
Why did his fingers keep fiddling nervously with his napkin like he was about to craft a swan out of it?
Why, in the name of God and everything holy, was Dominic still looking at him?!
This was unacceptable.
Absolutely. Unacceptable.
And yet—
Before he could stop himself, Dominic was already standing.
Sasha blinked up at him, startled. "Wha—what're you—?"
Dominic didn't answer. He didn't need to. He stalked around the table like a panther wearing an expensive suit, grabbed Sasha's tiny little wrist with one big hand, and yanked him to his feet like a mildly inconvenient grocery bag.
"Hey!" Sasha squeaked indignantly, his tote bag swinging wildly like a wrecking ball.
Dominic didn't even look at him. He just grabbed a napkin from the table with one hand, tipped Sasha's chin up with the other — with just enough force to make him gasp — and began scrubbing.
"Wha—hey! HEY! I can wipe my own—!!" Sasha flailed, blushing furiously. "I am a grown man thank you very much—!!"
Dominic didn't even flinch. Just wiped. Slow. Merciless. Like he was erasing a crime scene.
The chocolate smudge didn't stand a chance.
When he finished, Dominic crumpled the napkin into a little ball, tossed it onto the table with all the disdain of a man throwing away his last shred of sanity, and turned sharply, striding for the door.
Still frozen, Sasha just… stood there, clutching his tote like a lifeline.
He blinked once. Squinted.
"…You're weird," he called after him bluntly, his tone somewhere between confused and faintly amused.
Dominic stopped dead in his tracks.
Slowly… he turned.
The glare he sent over his shoulder could have curdled milk.
"…Are you coming or not?" he bit out, each word carved from ice.
Sasha blinked. "Huh?"
Dominic's eyebrow arched dangerously, his voice flat.
"I said. I'm dropping you off. Are you coming. Or. Not."
Sasha's brain short-circuited for a second before —
That grin.
Oh no.
That awful, adorable, infuriating little grin stretched across his face as he skipped — actually skipped — toward Dominic, swinging his tote bag like a gleeful kid at the park.
"Wow," Sasha giggled airily, smirking. "So that's it! You're, like, obsessed with me or something, huh? First you steal my booth to get my attention, then you insult my cake because you don't know how to flirt, then you clean my face like some worried soccer mom, and now you're driving me home? Oh, sweetie. You're hopeless."
Dominic's jaw tightened. The word friend burned like acid in his brain. But he didn't correct him.
Instead, he just glared even harder, which Sasha — naturally — ignored.
By the time they got to Dominic's car, Sasha's grin had only grown more insufferable.
"Ooooh," he breathed in awe, eyes going wide. "It's so… shinyyy."
Dominic gripped the car door frame like he was contemplating his life choices.
"Get. In," he growled.
Sasha gasped dramatically, clutching his chest. "So bossy~!"
Nevertheless, he ran his fingers lovingly along the car's door as if greeting a long-lost lover, then plopped into the passenger seat, swinging his legs like a happy toddler.
By the time Dominic slid into the driver's seat, Sasha was already nose-to-dashboard, inspecting everything with awe.
"Wowww… it's so clean," he murmured. Then added cheerfully, "Not like my sister's car. Hers smells like fries~."
Dominic's fingers twitched on the wheel.
"Do you like fries? I love fries. But chocolate's better. Chocolate's the best. Did you know that?"
"…No," Dominic replied flatly.
Sasha gasped as if he'd just confessed to murder.
"You didn't know?! Oh no. Oh no no no. That's it. We're gonna have to fix you."
Dominic exhaled slowly through his nose, muttering darkly, "You're loud."
"And you're mean," Sasha shot back sweetly, grinning as if that settled everything.
Dominic's grip on the steering wheel could have cracked it in half.
"Mean, mean, mean~," Sasha sing-songed to himself, leaning back in his seat and swinging his legs happily.
The silence that followed was tense. Heavy.
Until Sasha leaned his cheek against the window, his voice soft but full of dangerous curiosity:
"…So. Why did you wanna drop me off, hmm? You're lonely? You wanted company? Didn't have anyone to play with?"
Dominic's knuckles went white on the wheel.
"You talk too much," he muttered darkly.
But when Sasha turned his big, starry eyes on him, all soft and shiny and smug at once —
He couldn't quite bring himself to tell him to shut up.
Not this time.off
Because — and God help him — maybe weird people really were fun.
Maybe just this one.
Maybe just… him.