The road to the slime fields was about as scenic as a mobile game loading screen. A dirt path cutting through grassy plains, birds chirping, blue sky overhead. Idyllic. Peaceful. Boring.
Ronan led the way like he was the protagonist of his own story. "So, Kenji," he said, glancing back, "what rank were you aiming for?"
"Uh… S-Rank sounds nice," I said, deadpan.
He laughed like I was joking. *Oh, Ronan. Sweet summer child.*
Lia, the mage, trudged along behind him, clutching her staff. "This better be worth it. Ten coins for killing slimes? That's barely enough for bread."
Mira, the spear girl, stayed quiet, eyes scanning the grass like she expected wolves to pop out at any second. Efficient. I liked her already.
Me? I was enjoying the walk and silently praying I wouldn't embarrass myself.
*Slimes. The universal Level 1 mob. If I die here, I'll uninstall life.*
---
### **The First Encounter**
The clearing opened up ahead, dotted with blue blobs bouncing lazily in the sun.
"There they are," Ronan said dramatically, like he'd just spotted a dragon.
He drew his sword. "Lia, Mira, take the sides. Kenji—"
I didn't wait. I strolled up to the nearest slime, raised my Steel Fang Sword, and swung.
*SHLNK.*
The slime split cleanly in two, dissolving into blue goo with a satisfying pop.
> **[You have defeated a Slime!]**
> **EXP +20**
> **Loot: Slime Core x1**
I blinked as the notification hovered in my vision.
"Easy," I muttered.
The others stared. Lia's jaw dropped. Ronan froze mid-swing.
"You… one-shotted it," he said slowly. "Without using a skill?"
"Uh, yeah. Basic slash." I shrugged, trying to sound casual. Inside, I was screaming:
*Holy crap, this sword is busted!*
We cleared the rest in minutes. I barely broke a sweat.
> **Level Up! Lv. 2 → Lv. 3**
The party cheered. I pretended to be bored.
*Man, these drops are trash. When do I unlock double loot weekends?*
---
### **Reality Check**
"Let's push deeper," Ronan said after wiping his blade. "More slimes ahead."
I followed, hands in my pockets, feeling cocky. Big mistake.
We reached a mossy glade where sunlight barely filtered through the trees. A low, wet *slorp* echoed.
Then I saw it.
A slime the size of a wagon squelched into view, body quivering with every move. A glowing core pulsed inside like a beating heart.
> **Big Slime – Lv. 10 (Uncommon)**
> **HP: ????**
"Oh, hell no," I whispered.
"That's… a mini-boss," Lia stammered. "Those are for C-Rank parties!"
Ronan cursed. "Fall back! We can't handle that thing!"
The Big Slime lunged. A massive blob of goo slammed into Ronan, sending him flying into a tree.
"Mira, cover!" Lia shrieked, throwing a fireball that fizzled harmlessly against the slime's gelatinous body.
Then it came for me.
I barely rolled aside, but its splash hit me like a truck. My HP bar nosedived.
> **HP: 12/150**
> **Status: Critical Condition**
"Kenji!" Mira yelled. "Run!"
Run? No. If I run, they'll know I'm weak. If I fight… I'll die. Unless—
---
### **Sponsored by Luck**
> **System Alert:**
> *You are in critical condition! Watch an Ad for Survival?*
> [YES] [NO]
"YES!" I screamed without hesitation.
The world froze. A loading circle spun in my vision.
Then, suddenly—bright colors.
A cheery voice chirped:
**"Tired of losing? Download *Merge Dragons* today!"**
I stood there, drenched in slime goo, watching cartoon dragons pop balloons for 30 full seconds.
Behind the ad, reality blurred. My party's voices were faint:
"Kenji?! What are you DOING?!"
The ad ended with a cheery jingle:
**"Install now for 500 gems!"**
> **Ad Complete! Reward Unlocked:**
> - **HP Fully Restored**
> - **Attack +20% (3 min)**
The world snapped back. I was glowing with energy, sword humming like a boss weapon.
"Alright," I muttered, cracking my neck. "Let's do this."
---
### **The Comeback**
The Big Slime lunged again. I met it head-on.
Steel Fang Sword sliced clean through its gelatinous body. Blue chunks splattered everywhere. I spun, slashing again and again, moving like a speedrunner with cheat codes on.
The core shattered with a satisfying *crack*.
> **Big Slime Defeated!**
> **EXP +300**
> **Loot: Big Slime Core x1, Rare Goo Essence x1**
I exhaled slowly, wiping goo off my face. My sword gleamed in the sunlight like a hero's blade.
Behind me? Silence. Then—
"…What. The. Hell." Ronan gawked, still slumped against a tree.
"You didn't even chant a skill," Lia whispered, wide-eyed.
I sheathed my sword with a shrug. "Muscle memory."
Inside, I grinned. *Thank you, Merge Dragons. You saved my life.*
---
### **Aftermath**
We trudged back to the village, slime cores in tow. My party whispered among themselves, sneaking glances at me like I was a raid boss disguised as a newbie.
I ignored them, eyes on the system window that popped up as we walked:
> **Ad Surprise – Lv. 2 Unlocked!**
> **New Feature: Ad Chains!**
> *"Watch consecutive ads for combo bonuses!"*
I nearly laughed out loud.
*Ad Chains. Oh hell yes. This just got way more pay-to-win… without the pay.*
I gripped my sword tighter, excitement bubbling in my chest.
*Alright, fantasy world. Let's see how far a Free-to-Play god can go.*