The apartment was cold and empty without Scarlet, and I found myself wishing I hadn't blown Richard off. I didn't miss him, I didn't want to see him, but this new pain was unlike anything I had ever felt when dealing with Richard and I just wanted to escape. Back to the numb annoyance of being trained to be a tool with no will or emotions of her own. I wanted a reason to burry this ache, but as I opened my phone and seen the three hundred and twenty-seven messages and the fifty-two missed calls, I knew that was no longer an option. I opened the messages and scrolled to the end.
"Divorce, what did Scarlet tell you. I'll have her job and your head for this!" I had never heard him so angry, but I didn't care about that I was focused on the threat to Scarlet's job. She didn't like Richard, but she loved her job. At least that's what I always believed, but as I was working through what I could do to help the woman I now knew I loved, the door swung open, and Scarlet walked in.
"I was too late," the words slipped from my mouth with no thought.
"Too late for what?"
"Richard fired you, because I filed for divorce," I explained, waiting for her outrage. In typical Scarlet fashion there was none, just a light chuckle.
"He did what now. Do you even know what my job at your husband's company is?"
I did, but somehow with his threat and my concern for Scarlet I had forgotten. Her job was to represent the board, to step in if Richard messed up. As such she couldn't be fired without board approval. I felt so embarrassed with myself for getting so worked up, "But why are you home then?" I asked after organizing my thoughts, completely ignoring her question.
"I'm done. I talked to the board members today that's why I went in. I was only at the company to help an old friend out and keep an eye on you. If your free, then I see no reason to force it. I was a bad fit and your husband will most likely lose the company at the next board meeting anyways. I also might have mentioned a new start up that would be worth checking out. I've arranged a investors banquet for the end of the month. We need to have everything in place to wow the crowd by then. You focus on the company. I'll arrange the party, deal," Scarlet explained smiling at me. My heart skipped a beat. I nodded meekly and looked down at the floor.
"I made dinner," I told her, barely able to force my voice out.
We ate in silence and then took turns using the bathroom to prepare for bed. Once more we climbed into the same king bed, but it was different this time. I could feel the heat and the pressure. She had admitted she loved me, and I now realized I loved her, but she had made it clear she couldn't and wouldn't accept my feelings.
"Can we cuddle tonight again? Please, it felt so warm and safe."
She didn't respond she just pulled me close and started stroking my hair. Our relationship was strained, but even still we leaned against each other. Our days continued this way busy days, silent dinners, warm intimate nights. The contrast in her conduct made it all the harder to organize my thoughts and feelings. I knew I loved her. I mean I had known for a long time, but when I first realized it, I had dismissed it. I was married; I had chosen Richard. Even if it wasn't perfect I would never betray him. He had though, so how do I make Scarlet realize I was sure of these feelings, because they had been in me for almost as long as she had loved me.
The weekend came and I still had no answer, but I was determined to pin Scarlet down and try to figure this out, "Scarlet, it's the weekend. We're still friends, right?" I asked a little scared to hear the answer,
"Always Rey. Even when you become successful marry some pretty boy and forget all about me, I'll still have your back," Scarlet reassured me. The reassurance made me glow, but her prediction for my future made my heart ache. I pushed the ache aside for now and forced all that joy and gratitude into my voice.
"Then we can spend the day together, right? We need to take a break, and friends make sure friends don't work themselves to death," I said with a tight mechanical chuckle.
"Ok," she agreed vacantly starring at everything, but me. I accepted the fact she was willing to at least go along with it and I dragged her to her room and threw an outfit at her. It was a sky-blue summer dress with spaghetti straps and matching beach sandals a small black bikini instead of lingerie and a copper bangle stamped with four leaf clovers.
"Go shower and get dressed well head out when you're ready," I declared, faking confidence, but faltering towards the end.
"Sure," she responded flatly. With that the two of us busied ourselves getting ready for the day.
An hour later we were both by the door and while I had picked out the outfit for Scarlet the make-up and how she was put together was all her and she had nailed it. My heart felt like it would explode and despite our awkward vibe lately I couldn't look away. Which was made all the more awkward by the fact that she was in the same state. Her eyes had a hunger I had never seen in them before, and they roamed a crossed my body like a predator sizing up her pray.
Eventually we broke away from our trance and I led us to our first stop, brunch by the pool. We ate I made a point to make conversation. Even if it was one sided and awkward. After we finished eating, we tanned by the pool again making conversation, but we both were talking now. Our banter returning to something close to its old ease and comfort and for the briefest moment I faltered. Wondering if maybe I should leave it. We were could again, but if she didn't accept my next confession we wouldn't stay good and eventually, we wouldn't be able to go back. However, I hungered for more and even in the warmth of this banter there was an undercurrent of unease. So, I steeled my resolve and moved us on to the message I had booked.
After that we enjoyed a light lunch, and I had finally gathered my courage. I took her to a little club that wasn't as high scale as the places we usually went, but it was nice enough to impress smaller companies and had been used a lot by Richard in his start up days. We got a private both in the back it was quite and had its own dedicated server. We sat down and ordered drinks and then I took a deep breath.
"Do you remember the first time we came here together? It was a contract signing. You had been with the company for a couple months. We had started hanging out a bit. Richard's friends started harassing me. Trying to drive me away before the client arrived. Richard stopped them and I was so happy at first. Do you remember, 'leave her alone,' he said, and my heart soared for the briefest moment, 'If you morons chase her off today, we'll lose this deal, and you'll all be fired. Clear!' and like that my heart sank, but unlike normal I didn't have to bear it alone. You, sitting on my right grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the booth," I started my story and Scarlet took over at this point to show she did indeed remember.
"You're the worst. We're getting drinks alone. We'll be back for your precious client. I said and dragged you off determined to tell you what kind of piece of shit your fake as husband was. We were enjoying our first drink, and I was gathering my courage when some intern showed up telling us the client was there already. We went back and we signed the deal," she paused. Seemingly unsure of where I was going with this trip down memory lane.
"Yes, we did sign the deal, but not because me and Richard were a great couple and certainly not because of Richards shrewd negotiating. He was acting like it was a done deal when the client got there and he introduced me as his wife. The client was about to leave, and you brought them back to the table. No promises, no bravado, just this calm confidence and a reassuring glare. Richard got drunk and went to the bathroom, I always assumed to puke. You stayed composed even though you never refused a drink. You made him realize you would always be there as a safety net, and I'll never forget the line you used to seal the deal, 'Gwyn is there and she's my best friend, my only true friend. As long as she's there I will keep this company on the right track,' he was so touched he doubled his original investment, and you patted the back of my hand under the table, and I thought to myself why couldn't I be with her and this be her company. We would be so happy, but I had made my choice and even though he was cold and distant he had built me a good life. I would not betray those vows even if I ached to do so."
A tear rolled down her cheek and I wiped it away. She was gasping for air. I was worried, but I had to admit she looked adorable overwhelmed like this. She was always so well composed. I couldn't remember ever seeing her like this. I stroked her back as she brought her breathing under control and then a wry smile overtook my face.
"Does this mean you accept my feelings now?" I asked, glaring at her hopefully.
She nodded enthusiastically, "Rey," was all she said before my body responded to her nod pressing my lips firmly against hers. With that our day out was over. I still had more planed. A dinner, a moon lit stroll, a hotel suit with a great view and a hot tub in the room, but I couldn't think about any of that now. She had accepted my confession completely and I could no longer bare the weight of this longing.
I dragged her back to her place and chased her to her bed raining passionate kisses on her every time I caught up to her. We tumbled into the bed and for hours we were lost in the exploration and satisfaction of each other's bodies. Neither of us had ever been with a woman before so our exploration was so and clumsy to begin with, but we learned each other's responses quickly and we got lost in the passion. Eventually exhausted and sated we shifted from passionate embrace to passively cuddling. We drifted off to sleep our world irreparably changed forever.