Leon lay on the couch on his stomach, face buried in a pillow, shirt bunched up around his waist. His ass was, regrettably, both exposed and throbbing.
Mikhail stood beside him with a cold compress and the smuggest grin known to man.
"I cannot believe this is happening," Leon mumbled into the pillow.
"Oh, I can," Mikhail said cheerfully. "I told you not to trust mysterious men who don't talk much and look like they kill people for a living."
Leon glared over his shoulder. "You're enjoying this way too much."
Mikhail gave a long, dramatic sigh. "You're right. I should be weeping while applying ice to my boyfriend's ravaged backside.Oh,wait. My ex-boyfriends,it is."
"You're the worst."
"Don't say that. I'm your caregiver now."
He gently pressed the ice pack to the sore spot.
Leon yelped.
"Oh, poor baby," Mikhail cooed. "Did your silent stranger not use enough lube? Or was he just too big for you?"
Leon reached for a pillow and threw it at him blindly.
It missed.
The cat, perched on the armrest, gave Leon a flat, unimpressed look. Then walked over and curled right under Mikhail's hand like he was clearly the only reliable man in the room.
Mikhail scratched behind the cat's ears while keeping the ice in place. "See? Even Tolya agrees with me."
Leon grumbled. "You gave your cat a Russian name just to gaslight me."
"No, I gave him a Russian name because he is Russian. Cold, judgmental, and fiercely loyal."
Tolya sneezed, unimpressed.
Leon hissed when the ice shifted again.
"You know," Mikhail mused, "I've never actually seen you cry before. Not even when you broke your nose. But one night of being on the receiving end and suddenly I find you sobbing in front of the door like a Victorian maiden."
"I hate you."
"No, you don't."
Leon turned just enough to glare. "If I find out that man was someone you know—"
Mikhail smiled sweetly. "Well, if he was, you should probably thank him. He clearly taught you some humility."
Leon groaned, face back into the pillow.
"You're lucky I can't move or I'd kick your smug Russian ass."
Mikhail leaned down, kissed the small of his back, then whispered—
"Darling… if you could move, I wouldn't be smug."