He slowly pushed the door open. The hall inside was pitch dark, but Tadokoro Megumi seemed used to it. She was about to turn on the lights when the floor suddenly shook hard.
"An earthquake?"
"No..." Almost instinctively, Tadokoro Megumi quickly grabbed Hachiman and pulled him into a safe spot.
The next moment...
"Rumble, rumble, rumble..."
"Bang! Bang-bang!"
"Rabbit! Duck! Deer!"
"Don't run!"
In the darkness, a shadow rushed past them. Whoever it was seemed fully focused on chasing those animals, not noticing them at all.
At the same time, a heavy smell of smoke spread through the air. Even though Tadokoro Megumi covered his mouth right away, that unforgettable stench still forced its way into his nose.
"Room 116! What the hell are you doing? Don't bring livestock into the dorm, you idiot! Next time you do, I'll skin you alive!"
"Sorry..."
"And Room 208! You turned another empty room into a smoking room without permission again? Do you want me to smoke you instead?"
"Y-Yes! I've already reflected on it..."
"And Room 205! If the floor caves in, I'll put a hole in your stomach!"
"I'll be careful! Please make the two guys fighting in my room fall through instead."
"....."
Hachiman didn't even know how to put the scene in front of him into words. This was a hundred times crazier than any dorm he had ever imagined. But looking at Tadokoro Megumi... it was clear she had already gotten used to it.
"You okay?"
"My body's fine. My mind... not so much."
"Ahahaha... I'll go turn on the lights."
"Alright."
"Click..."
As the lights flickered on, it was like the whole dorm had been transformed by magic into a grand palace.
Before he could even process the sight in front of him, Hikigaya's eyes were drawn to the dorm manager.
With her hands on her hips, a bold afro hairstyle, and an aura that radiated pure dominance, she didn't look like a dorm manager at all. She was more like the guardian deity of Polar Star Dorm.
"You're the new transfer student?"
"I am Polar Star's Maria. You may call me Lady Fumio."
Although he had prepared himself mentally, when Hachiman actually faced the dorm manager named Fumio, he still felt that something was really strange here!
Tadokoro Megumi: "Grandma Fumio, this is Hikigaya. He plans to join the dorm."
Grandma Fumio: "Oh? Then what ingredients did you bring?"
Hachiman: "Ingredients?"
Tadokoro Megumi's face suddenly looked like she had just realized something. She glanced at Hikigaya a little embarrassed:
"Uh... well, I forgot... Hikigaya, you have to bring your own ingredients..."
Grandma Fumio knocked her head helplessly: "Megumi, can't you change this habit of forgetting things whenever you get nervous? This isn't even your entrance test."
Thinking about running back to buy ingredients and then returning for the test, Hachiman felt like he was being struck by lightning—it was unbearable.
Once again, an apologetic look appeared on Tadokoro Megumi's face. Hikigaya had helped her many times and tolerated her foolish mistakes, yet every time, what she did only let him down.
Even though it was frustrating, at this point there was no other choice but to leave. After all, they didn't even have a single green onion with them.
Fumio: "If you think hotels are too expensive, sleeping outside isn't a problem either."
Hachiman: "Wow, not giving me any mercy at all. At least let me stay for one night... But this cold wind isn't a joke, and with all the forest around here, won't there be some strange animals wandering about?"
Just as Hachiman was about to leave, Tadokoro Megumi suddenly smacked her head as if she had thought of something.
"Grandma Fumio! The leftover ingredients in the kitchen can be used too, right?"
Grandma Fumio also seemed to recall something, but her face didn't change at all as she calmly said:
"They can be used, but with just those scraps and leftovers, I doubt you can make anything that will satisfy me."
Tadokoro Megumi: "I... I still have some leftover ingredients in my room. I'll bring them over for you, Hikigaya!"
Hachiman: "If that's the case... then I'll have to give it my all tonight so I won't have to sleep outside."
His tone wasn't overly fired up, as if for him, cooking a dish didn't need too much of a reason.
Led by Grandma Fumio, Hachiman quickly arrived at the dorm's kitchen. The outside was already beautiful, but seeing the kitchen itself was even more unbelievable.
In such a large kitchen, even more than twenty people could easily fit inside. As expected of a school where cooking ruled everything.
Grandma Fumio's eyes stayed on Hikigaya the whole time, as if she saw an old acquaintance in him.
"Good then. I hate kids who only bluff. If you think I'm just an ordinary dorm manager granny, you're dead wrong. I've tasted more student dishes than you can imagine. If you dare serve me a sloppy dish, I won't hesitate to give you a failing grade and kick you out."
"Yeah, yeah..."
Before deciding what to cook, he had to check what ingredients were left.
Since Grandma Fumio had said it was only scraps and leftovers, it was definitely not enough to make some fancy dish. But for Hachiman, who was used to living around small diners, he didn't need to make anything fancy anyway.
All that mattered was satisfying Grandma Fumio.
'A bit of onion and vegetables, eggs, breadcrumbs, all the seasonings are here... but if that's all...'
'If it were Dad, what kind of dish would he make?'
'And if it were Komachi, what kind of meal would she prepare?'
"Hikigaya, in my room I only have some seaweed and dried fish left..."
"That's enough."
He nodded in thanks and took the dish Megumi Tadokoro brought over. By then, Hachiman already had his answer.
At that moment, Grandma Fumio couldn't believe it at all. With these random ingredients that didn't even go together, making a dish that could satisfy her seemed impossible.
But...
Come to think of it, back in the day, there was someone like this who once made a dish she remembered for a lifetime.