Chapter 0157: How Much Rice Can One Bag Carry?
Thanks to Hisako's exceptional performance, Erina's embarrassment and anger were miraculously resolved.
After that, the two close friends huddled together in a corner of the sofa, whispering and giggling furtively—Hayashi didn't even need to eavesdrop. Just seeing Erina's blushing face was enough to guess that Hisako was probably asking all sorts of curious questions about intimate matters between men and women.
Hah, women!
Don't think only men are curious about risqué topics. When women get interested in that stuff, men don't stand a chance!
Realizing not only was he unnecessary here, but his presence might also interfere with the two ladies' "private conversation," Hayashi shrugged, pushed himself up from his knees, and said to Erina, "Erina, Hisako, I'm going to take a stroll in the Pokémon world. Might not come back today, so don't wait up for me."
"Oh—"
Erina spared a moment to glance back and acknowledge him before being pulled away again by the ever-curious Hisako—
"Does it really hurt that much at first?"
"Is that 'filled-up' feeling from the manga real?"
"And can you actually feel that... hot liquid at the end?"
Before leaving, Hayashi seemed to overhear such questions. He couldn't help but click his tongue in admiration: 'You two really discuss everything under the sun!'
...
...
Pokémon World, Sky City.
"Meow, it's Master meow!"
The lively Chocolate's eyes lit up the moment she spotted the pink gate materializing in the courtyard. With a "whoosh," she leapt down from the third-floor window, landed gracefully, then darted straight to the entrance.
"Meow meow meow!"
When Hayashi pushed open the gate and stepped into the Pokémon world, he was greeted by Chocolate standing cheerfully at the door, meowing at him—her large, glistening eyes and twitching ears radiating pure excitement and joy.
"Master meow! You're back!" Chocolate circled around Hayashi happily. "But why is Master alone meow? Where's Mistress Erina? Mistress Hisako? Mistress Yunyun?"
"They're resting at home." Hayashi casually patted Chocolate's head, eliciting a contented purr from the adorable catgirl. The sound alone felt like a balm to his soul.
"Pop—"
Just then, accompanied by the sound of a Poké Ball opening, a fluffy Sylveon with ribbons fluttering appeared on the ground. It immediately began excitedly crying, "Eevee! Eevee!"
What about me? What about me? You're petting another cat—won't you pet me too?
"Of course, of course!" Hayashi chuckled helplessly and extended his other hand, stroking from Sylveon's head all the way down its back, making its tail stiffen in delight.
"Giggle, Lord Sylveon really loves Master meow!" Chocolate giggled at the sight. "Chocolate super-duper-duper, super loves Master too!"
"Is that so?" Hayashi felt an oddly paternal warmth. He laughed and ruffled Chocolate's head. "Little kitten, could you fetch me some food? I haven't had breakfast yet."
"Meow!"
Chocolate's tail shot straight up in shock. Her expression turned serious in an instant. After giving Hayashi a quick bow, she spun around and dashed toward the castle, shouting at the top of her lungs, "Meow meow meow! Emergency meow! Master is hungry meow!!"
"So reckless—"
Hayashi shook his head in amusement. Though he had a goofy personality—online, one might mistake him for a teenager—somehow, around these guardians, he always ended up feeling like a doting father.
"Alright, let's head to the dining table first." Hayashi patted Sylveon's head and said, "Come on, let's go!"
"Eevee!"
Sylveon let out a cheerful cry, then dashed ahead a couple of steps before stopping and turning back to stare at Hayashi. She waited until he caught up before trotting forward again, repeating the process.
"Don't worry, I won't get lost," Hayashi chuckled. "Aren't you tired of constantly looking back?"
"Eevee!"
Sylveon shook her head happily.
Not at all! I want to keep watching you, always and forever!
"Alright then—"
Hayashi shook his head. It seemed not only his own guardians but even these little cuties were the same.
Being a father figure isn't easy.
...
...
"So—" Hayashi took a bite of his sandwich filled with fried egg, lettuce, ham, and cheese, then spoke indistinctly: "Are you really this free now? You came over less than ten minutes after I arrived?"
"I was afraid you'd feel lonely, what do you know—" Ho-Oh, already deeply infected by Hayashi's influence, puffed out its chest and declared righteously: "Shouldn't you be thanking me?"
"Thanks to Ho-Oh for the gift of Rainbow Wing." Hayashi pulled a Rainbow Wing from his pocket, then pondered for a few seconds before saying: "How about making a shuttlecock with this one?"
"Shuttlecock? What's that?" Ho-Oh lowered its head slightly, curious. "Is it some special item? Is it powerful? Does it suit my status as Ho-Oh?"
'Hmm, if I tell her it's used as a substitute for chicken feathers, she'll probably get mad, right?' Hayashi stroked his chin, then said earnestly: "A shuttlecock is a magical item that brings joy to humans."
"Oh? Brings joy?" Ho-Oh raised an eyebrow, then nodded with satisfaction. "Good! That suits my status as Ho-Oh perfectly. Approved!"
"Great!"
Hayashi nodded, then shamelessly added "Rainbow Wing Shuttlecock" to his mental to-do list—come on, kicking a shuttlecock made of Rainbow Wings would be so cool, right? Ho-Oh would definitely bless us!
Thinking this, Hayashi quickly finished the breakfast prepared by the cat-eared maids and drank a large glass of freshly squeezed juice.
"Ah, perfect." Hayashi leaned back in his chair, lazily stroking the head of the Sylveon resting on his lap, and asked again: "By the way, you still haven't answered me—don't you Legendary Pokémon have anything to do?"
"Ahem, things have been relatively quiet lately—" Ho-Oh coughed twice, then said: "So, do you have any fun activities? Give me something interesting!"
"Fun activities?"
Hayashi crossed his arms and fell into thought, muttering: "Let me think, fun activities? Hmm—"
Originally, Hayashi had planned to take Ho-Oh to a movie event to watch other Legendary Pokémon get humiliated, but after checking the timeline, he realized Ash had just started his journey in the Unova region and immediately dismissed the idea.
After all, the Unova movies seemed pretty boring to him, lacking the memorable moments of earlier films—it's not like any Legendary Pokémon would suffer a major humiliation in a movie, right?
Right, Lugia, Rayquaza, and Arceus (or its avatar)?
Only movies where Legendary Pokémon suffer major humiliations would be worth bringing Ho-Oh along to mock them on the spot.
"Seems like there aren't any interesting events in the near future—" Hayashi tilted his head in frustration. "Though, if nothing unexpected happens, there should be a big spectacle next year."
Next year, Ash would likely head to the Kalos region, and Hayashi was determined to personally enjoy the Hoopa movie—even though its box office performance wasn't great, Hayashi loved these chaotic battles with lots of Legendary Pokémon.
"Then isn't it boring now?" Ho-Oh flapped its wings and landed on the table, then said somewhat disappointedly, "I thought you'd have something fun for me again."
"?"
Hayashi rolled his eyes and said, "No choice, the timing is just too unfortunate—
Go back one year, and you could see Arceus getting humiliated;
Go back two years, and you could see Rayquaza getting humiliated;
Go back three years, and you could see Celebi getting humiliated;
Go back four years, and you could see Lugia getting humiliated;
—But it just had to be this year, when no one seems to have gotten humiliated."
"Gwaaah—!"
Upon hearing this, Ho-Oh let out a mournful cry before slumping weakly onto the table, muttering, "Damn it! Rounding it off, I feel like I've missed out on a fortune!"
This was the perfect chance to be the first on the scene to mock its peers! In that very moment, Ho-Oh had already come up with the ultimate taunting lines—
Yo yo yo, if it isn't Lugia? Haven't seen you in years, how'd you get so lame?
Yo yo yo, if it isn't Celebi? Haven't seen you in years, how'd you get so lame?
Yo yo yo, if it isn't Rayquaza? Haven't seen you in years, how'd you get so lame?
Yo yo yo, if it isn't Arc— cough... never mind, better keep my life intact.
The more it thought about it, the angrier it got!
Ho-Oh jumped up and started ranting, "How about we go find Dialga? Time-travel to be the first on the scene to mock them?"
This left Hayashi utterly speechless. He retorted, "Do you honestly think Arceus wouldn't pluck every single feather off you if it found out about this idea!?"
Is that how you're supposed to use the power of the Time Steel Dragon!? To go back in time and mock your humiliated peers!?
Die, you wretched bird!
Ho-Oh sighed, lazily rolling over as it grumbled, "This won't work, that won't work—"
So boring!
"Nothing we can do! The timing's just bad—" Hayashi propped his chin on his hand to console Ho-Oh before muttering, "How about we watch some anime to kill time?"
"Fine, I guess." Ho-Oh sighed, then climbed back up and perched on Hayashi's head again. "But don't show me any Junji Ito stuff—it scares me so much I can't sleep at night."
"Can you be any more useless? Getting scared sleepless by Junji Ito!?" Hayashi rolled his eyes and scoffed, "You're the mighty Life God, for crying out loud!"
"You mocking me?" Ho-Oh glared at Hayashi. "No horror, period!"
"Alright—" Hayashi reluctantly pulled out his laptop. "As long as it's not horror, right?"
"Right!" Ho-Oh perked up, raising its bird head proudly and patting its chest with a wing. "As long as it's not horror, this Ho-Oh can watch anything! Let's go!"
No problem, no problem!
Heh heh!
Then prepare to be bombarded by Your Lie in April, Anohana, and Clannad!