Chapter 0147: Platinum Dragon Lord, I'll Slap Your Ancestors
"Honestly, I'm starting to doubt if Ho-Oh's blessing is still with us—" Lying with his head on Erina's lap, Hayashi squinted, savoring the silky touch of stockings against his nape, and clicked his tongue. "Otherwise, this is just too smooth."
Beside him, Hisako skimmed through the Guardians' reports and nodded with a similarly bemused expression. "You're right. It's suspiciously smooth."
Now, a week had passed since the guardians set out to slay the dragons, and in that single week, earth-shaking changes had occurred within the Empire, the Kingdom, and the Theocracy—
First, the nobility within these three nations underwent further scrutiny. Those nobles involved in black-market industries such as slave trading, smuggling, theft, drug trafficking, and usury were all personally "greeted" by Diana and members of the angels and Demon Guard, who kindly sent them to reunite with their ancestors.
Under this relentless, iron-fisted purge—where absolute power left no room for resistance—the crime rates in the three nations plummeted by nearly 60% in just a week. The remaining 40% involved minor underlings, and rooting them out completely would take a bit more time.
Next were the other nations, such as the Argland Council State and the Roble Holy Kingdom. Upon hearing of the alliance between the Theocracy, the Empire, and the Kingdom, they grew restless. But before they could react, the tri-nation alliance forces had already split into two and arrived at their doorsteps.
Coordinating with the guardians' decapitation strikes—eliminating the corrupt, greedy nobles within their militaries—these two nations quickly bowed their heads and obediently chose to join the allied coalition.
Then came the last, and most troublesome, race on the continent—the dragons!
After the Deep Darkness Dragon Lord and the Elder Coffin Dragon Lord became materials in Sky City's warehouse and ingredients on the dining table, the dragons seemed to sense something amiss. Led by the Platinum Dragon Lord, that old bastard, the remaining True Dragon Lords were summoned.
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"Esteemed peers—"
The Platinum Dragon Lord sprawled atop his hoard, speaking gravely to the other Dragon Lords. "Deep Darkness and Elder Coffin are dead! This proves that new players have descended and set their sights on us—"
The Swordmaster Dragon Lord flicked his tail, his temper flaring. "Such greedy humans! This time, we didn't even provoke them, yet they dare strike first..."
The Platinum Dragon Lord snorted coldly. "Not only that! According to my intelligence, the major human nations have already been unified by these newly arrived players! If we don't intervene, this continent will soon belong to them—a feat not even the Six Gods or the Eight Greed Kings of old could accomplish!"
Of course, a large part of their failure back then stemmed from the players' inherent greed. After all, human hearts are complex—who could guarantee that after crossing over, they would remain true to their original intentions and maintain unbreakable bonds with their comrades?
The Brightness Dragon Lord yawned. "Alright, just tell us what to do! Let's wrap this up quickly—I'm about to marry my 170th wife and make some children with her."
'Disgusting pervert—'
The other Dragon Lords inwardly cursed in unison.
No wonder they thought the Brightness Dragon Lord was a pervert. If you equate dragons to humans, then humans would be akin to cats in our eyes. And the Brightness Dragon Lord's statement was equivalent to your neighbor telling you: "Hurry up and finish, I just bought my 17th Ragdoll cat at the pet shop and can't wait to go home and f*ck it—"
Tell me, isn't that perverted?
"From what I understand, both the Deep Darkness and the Elder Dragon Lords were slain in their own habitats. This proves the enemy likely already has our movements tracked—" The Platinum Dragon Lord's face darkened as he spoke: "So we can't just sit around waiting! I'll distribute the items I've gathered to you all, then we'll take the initiative and hunt them down—"
"Agreed!"
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Hayashi could never have dreamed that while he was still worrying about the whereabouts of the other Dragon Lords, Violet would report to him—the remaining Dragon Lords had banded together and were launching a pincer attack on Sky City, located above the plains.
"What is this? A pillow arriving just as you're about to sleep?" Hayashi looked at the three girls with a mix of amusement and exasperation. "So, one each, or should we let the guardians warm up first?"
"Let the guardians handle the other three. We'll take on the Platinum Dragon Lord ourselves?" Erina eagerly looked at Hayashi and said, "At least let me experience what it's like to carve dragon meat! I wonder if it's similar to lizards or crocodiles?"
Hisako, standing nearby, nodded with a hint of regret and said, "Erina is right! Last time, with the Deep Darkness and Elder Dragon Lords, since Shyvana and Violet didn't know how to properly handle such ingredients, the meat wasn't processed well during the kill, which affected the texture—this time, we'll do it ourselves to ensure the dragon meat reaches peak flavor!"
Erina clenched her fist and declared, "That's right, peak flavor!"
Yunyun, listening nearby, was practically drooling. According to Erina and Hisako, the incredibly fragrant dragon meat she'd eaten last time was actually "subpar" due to texture and flavor issues!?
Goodness, how delicious would perfectly prepared dragon meat be!?
Slurp—
Unable to resist, she raised her right hand just like Erina and Hisako and exclaimed, "Defeat the Dragon Lords, eat dragon meat!"
"…"
Listening to the three girls, Hayashi couldn't help but wipe the cold sweat from his forehead and silently light a candle for the Platinum Dragon Lord, whom he hadn't even met yet.
To the late Platinum Dragon Lord in heaven:
You've already been marked as dinner by Erina.
May you stay healthy and not affect the flavor.
Thanks.
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The Platinum Dragon Lord, fully armed and flying toward Sky City, suddenly shivered. Suspicious, he glanced around and rubbed his arms, muttering, "What's going on?"
The Swordmaster Dragon Lord beside him asked curiously, "What's wrong?"
The Platinum Dragon Lord muttered with a strange expression, "I just feel all prickly, like someone's pinned me to a chopping board, scraping my scales with a knife, gutting me, and draining my blood—"
The Swordmaster Dragon Lord twitched the corner of his mouth and said, "Why do you make yourself sound like a fish on the chopping block? Come on, you're a Dragon Lord! How could you possibly—"
Before he could finish his sentence, a black flash streaked across the sky. A figure clad in black light armor crashed like a meteor into the Platinum Dragon Lord's abdomen, slamming the fully armored, mid-flight Dragon Lord straight into the ground.
In that split second before impact, the Swordmaster Dragon Lord could even clearly see the Platinum Dragon Lord's widened eyes, gaping mouth, and the tiny exposed tongue inside his draconic maw.
Then, Erina descended from the heavens in her red leather armor, shouting with fervor, "Slay the Dragon Lord! Strip the scales! Feast on dragon flesh!"
As Erina plummeted like a shooting star, Yunyun hovered mid-air in her white mage robes, gripping a staff taller than herself. Her magic shield flared as she stared intently at the falling Platinum Dragon Lord, murmuring, "As Brother Hayashi taught—when facing a powerful foe, open with a Super-Tier spell to show respect—"
The next moment, an enormous magic circle unfurled behind her. Blue mana erupted like flames around her body, and her robes billowed as if caught in an unseen wind.
"Super-Tier Magic: Wrath of the Four Guardians!"
A green Azure Dragon, golden Black Tortoise, crimson Vermilion Bird, and black White Tiger materialized behind Yunyun before streaking toward the Platinum Dragon Lord below as radiant beams.
"Ah, wait, don't rush—" Hisako pressed down on her hat and hastily called out, "Let me buff you first!"
STR up, AGI up, INT up, DEX up, Movement Speed up, Cast Speed up, Attack Speed up, Magic Damage up, Spell Tier up, Attack Power up, Defense Penetration added, Armor Break added, Pierce added...
Watch and learn—this is how a proper support does it!
"..."
The Swordmaster Dragon Lord hovered dumbfounded in the air. He resembled a helpless support who had been walking through the riverbrush with his ADC, only for the ADC to suddenly get hooked by Blitzcrank—left to watch as his teammate got jumped by Vladimir, Sett, and Talon while he could do nothing but shiver in place.
To make matters worse, when this support turned his head, he saw a silver-clad paladin wielding a cruciform shield, flanked by an angel, a demon, and a nine-tailed fox—all staring at him with predatory intensity.
"U-um..." The Swordmaster Dragon Lord trembled. "If I said I took a wrong turn... would you believe me?"
"Enemy! Grass! Enemy! Attack!"
The next instant, as battle cries rang out, the Swordmaster Dragon Lord uttered his final words in this world: "Platinum Dragon Lord, I'll fuck your ancestors—"
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"Whew—"
After the battle, Hayashi gazed approvingly at the massive dragon corpses strewn across Sky City's open grounds and nodded in satisfaction. "Good! Excellent! We're in for a treat now!"
Slurp—
Meanwhile, Yunyun had already lost herself in carnivorous fantasies—
Dragon steak, sweet and sour dragon ribs, braised dragon meat, grilled dragon skewers, dragon hotpot, dragon meatballs, crispy fried dragon cutlets...
"Slurp—"
She swallowed her drool once more while marveling inwardly—how could there be so many delicious meat dishes? Truly, humans evolved to the top of the food chain just to eat meat, right?