If life were a rom-com anime, I'd probably be the background character—the guy who sits two rows behind the protagonist, clapping politely during the school festival before disappearing into obscurity.
But no. Somehow, fate decided I'd get promoted to "main character." Which would sound great… if it didn't involve constant nosebleeds, misunderstandings, and enough female attention to trigger World War III in my own dorm room.
It all started on a perfectly ordinary Monday morning.
"Riku! You're going to be late again!"
Ayaka's voice rang through the paper-thin walls of my apartment like a drill sergeant on too much caffeine.
She didn't even live here—she just let herself in with the spare key she "borrowed" three years ago and never gave back. Childhood friend privilege, apparently.
I was still half-asleep, face buried in the pillow, when she barged into my room.
"Up! Now!" she scolded, yanking the blanket off me.
"Ghh—Ayaka, personal space!" I groaned, curling up like a burrito without the tortilla.
"You'll miss first period if you don't move. And don't give me that look, I know you were up playing games again."
"…It was research."
"On what, the mating habits of anime catgirls?" she deadpanned.
Touché.
Ayaka was the type of girl who pretended to be my babysitter but secretly enjoyed nagging me. She tied her chestnut hair into a ponytail, hands on hips, like she was auditioning for the role of my future wife.
Which was… concerning, considering the way she inspected my messy room like it was a crime scene.
I was halfway through pulling on my uniform when disaster struck.
Literally.
Because as I stumbled toward the door, bleary-eyed, I crashed headfirst into someone carrying a stack of boxes.
WHAM!
"Ahhh!" A girl's voice squealed as we toppled over.
Books scattered everywhere. When I opened my eyes, I found myself lying flat on the floor… with a very soft, very feminine weight pressing down on me.
Cue anime cliché.
My hand twitched. My face heated up. She gasped.
"You… you're touching—!"
"I-I'm not doing it on purpose!" I yelped, desperately trying to move my traitorous hand away from the exact spot you shouldn't be touching on a first meeting.
The girl scrambled to her feet, cheeks scarlet. She had silky black hair that fell over her shoulders like ink and sharp, elegant features that gave her the aura of a princess. Even the way she smoothed her uniform was graceful.
"I… I'm sorry," she muttered, bowing slightly. "I wasn't looking where I was going."
"N-No, that was totally my fault," I stammered. My brain, of course, chose that moment to scream: Beautiful girl! Unknown! Potential love interest unlocked!
Before I could recover, Ayaka grabbed my ear and yanked me upright.
"Riku! Already harassing girls before breakfast?" she accused.
"Wha—I didn't harass anyone!"
The mysterious girl looked between us with a faintly amused expression. "You two… are close?"
Ayaka crossed her arms. "Unfortunately."
"Hey!"
The girl smiled politely. "My name is Miyu. I just transferred here today. I'll be counting on your guidance."
Transfer student. Elegant. Polite. And—judging from the way the guys in class were already gawking—way out of my league.
So, of course, fate seated her right next to me.
If that weren't enough chaos, lunchtime brought an even bigger storm.
"Senpaaai!"
A high-pitched voice rang out across the cafeteria. I turned just in time for a small, energetic blur to slam into me.
"Ghk—Kana! You can't just tackle people in the cafeteria!" I groaned, steadying the tray of curry I was carrying.
Kana was a first-year, bubbly to the point of being radioactive, and had somehow decided I was her "favorite senpai." Which meant she clung to me like a koala whenever she had the chance.
"But senpai, you didn't eat breakfast again, right? So I brought you a snack!" She proudly shoved a half-eaten taiyaki into my hand.
"…Kana. This has bite marks."
"Love bites, senpai~!" she teased, winking.
I nearly choked. Ayaka slammed her hand on the table. "Stop flirting with him, you sugar gremlin!"
Miyu, meanwhile, just watched the whole scene with that serene little smile, as if she were observing monkeys at a zoo.
And me? I sat in the middle, trapped between my childhood friend's scolding, the transfer student's mysterious gaze, and the underclassman literally feeding me fish-shaped pastry.
That was the moment I realized…
My life had just taken a very dangerous turn.
The kind of turn that usually ended with explosions, misunderstandings, and multiple angry confessions under the cherry blossoms.
In other words…
The beginning of my harem life.
…Somebody save me.