If I analyze that paradoxical beauty's words carefully, the school is open to anyone. And she said it with full awareness, knowing perfectly well that I'm a Homo sapiens. Paradoxical is a native of this world, so she must know stories about the humans who came before me. And despite that, she insisted that anyone can be accepted into the school, as long as they have a third-party recommendation.
From that, I can deduce two crucial things:
First, I can actually learn magic.
Second, someone here is clearly trying to stop me from doing so.
Maybe because nobody recommended me?
I'll only know for sure if I ask. But I'm certain of one thing: the one trying to make me waste my time here, to stop me from setting my goals, can only be the Shahid. That bald old man who keeps watching me and piling endless chores on my back.
So, I decided to skip his services and go to another high-ranking figure in the school for help. Granted, she was probably the most intimidating of them all, but according to the rumors that even spread into the toilets, she had enough influence to get anyone through the entrance exam: Shahid Nemour.
I found her in her office, guided by a young man dressed entirely in a cloak. The office was at the foot of a tower, and it was as lavish as a king's chamber, built of glittering red bricks and furnished with masterfully carved wood.
Two copper statues decorated the room, and an enormous painting of the Shahid adorned the right wall. There she was, young and stunning, wearing a simple, delicate robe, in the middle of practicing elemental sorcery. An epic pose that seemed to capture a lifetime of youthful brilliance on that full-sized canvas.
A beauty that could make kings dream and goddesses jealous… who now was slowly fading under the weight of time. Still, I wouldn't give her more than forty-five: the wrinkles were discreet, and her skin held that perfect maturity that cultured men politely call a "prime milf."
– You want me to recommend you to join the school? she asked in her authoritative voice, her sharp and… strangely aged eyes piercing me.
She probably didn't look her true age.
– Yes, please, I beg you.
– And you think that's enough? she cut me off. Do you have any idea how many people beg me for the same favor? Or do you think you're better than all of them? Then again… even if you were, you wouldn't be the first.
She set down her drawing pencil — yes, she had been sketching on a sheet of paper when I entered.
– Listen. You may not know this, but sorcery rules this world. So if we taught it to just anyone, who knows what kind of harm they could do? Especially after all the upheavals your kind has already caused. We've lost count of how many of you dragged us into chaos. Each time, the school had to take drastic measures and bear the consequences. Why do you think I pushed for your execution that day?
She was harsh, and always full of malice toward me. I could feel it in her gaze, and sadly… I don't think she was wrong. Seeing things like faucets, or even manga, in this world — I should have guessed long ago. But I was too busy dreaming about my perfect harem.
– But there's nothing saying I'd be like them. I… I just want to be happy, I said honestly, surprising even myself.
But in the books, that's always the kind of line the hero drops to make himself sound like the one chosen soul worth saving. And usually, it always works — especially in harems. You'd think they were all idiots there. So now it was time for me to find out once and for all if I was in a harem or not.
– Like everyone else, huh? Have you ever met someone who didn't want to be happy? the Shahid asked.
And I felt the full stupidity of my statement crash down on my neck like a freezing downpour. I should have kept my mouth shut instead of blurting out that nonsense. But at least now, it was clear: I'm not in a harem.
– Listen… all I want is a chance to live my life the way I want. You're the ones who summoned me to this world when I never asked for it, and now you're making me scrub your mountains of shit left on the toilet edges as if I were some damn ass-licker! And you want to condemn me to live like that for the rest of my life, just because others messed up your world? Because of your mistakes? And I'm supposed to accept that? Hell no. I'm nobody's ass-licker. No one will use me like a rag and then toss me away.
I had completely snapped.
– A shame… because many ass-lickers have already passed. Especially those who mastered the art of licking.
– All I'm asking is for a chance. Just a chance, please. I won't be useless to you. And I'll owe you a life-long favor. Please.
The Shahid folded her hands under her chin and stared at me with her dark, piercing eyes. Pupils aged by long-conquered years that, for an instant, glimmered with mischief as they scanned me from head to toe.
– Hmm… it's true, with a few spells here and there, you could turn out quite promising. Hmm. A small chuckle escaped her lips as she gracefully licked them. Alright… but don't forget: you'll owe me four favors instead of one.
– What? Four?! I blurted out, shocked.
– You don't want this letter? she said, switching back to her neutral tone.
– Oh no, no! I'll take it! Gladly, haha!
– Hm.
She smiled again, looking at me strangely… maybe too strangely. I couldn't tell if she was mocking me or if she had some twisted plans left in her head.
But after that, she pulled out a pre-filled form, completed it with my details and her seal, then handed it to me so I could give it to Shahid Jey Zaviel, my number one anti-fan.
– He's in charge of enrollments, so go see him, she said.
– Thank you, Shahid Nemour.
I bowed my head respectfully and left the office. I followed a hallway to the exit and closed the door behind me. And the moment I stepped out of the tower, I exploded with joy.
– YES!!! I did it! I did it! VIVA LA PARADOXISME!!!
I jumped for joy, kicked my feet in the air, threw my broom and bucket, and ran straight toward Professor Zaviel's office. Still in my apron and underwear, looking like an acquitted pedophile.
– Ahaa hahaha haa hahaha hahaha ha!
Then something hit me like an undeniable truth. I stopped dead to think for a second.
– Wait… what do you mean, "ass-lickers with the art and manner" were accepted?
And suddenly, all the missing pieces of the puzzle clicked in my big dumb head. It had been so clearly said… and I, in my stupidity, didn't catch it. And now it was too late.
My heart immediately filled with such regret and sorrow it could have flooded the school toilets.
– Ghhh… I could've been accepted for free… just by licking her pussy?! DAMN IT! And I missed such a chance?! I'm an idiot, damn it. King of idiots.
Goddamn it, I was pissed. In the end, wasn't all this because I wanted to lose my virgin…ity? And to a hot milf, with a body to die for, and what's more, my superior… Ah, I had to stop thinking about it. It was too brutal, too unfair… and above all, too stupid of me.
– No, no, no. I did the right thing by being that stupid.
Seriously?
– Yes! Because I've never slept with a woman, and I won't waste my first time on a woman whose youth has already been consumed. So yes, I did the right thing.
Turns out, even stupidity can have its bright sides.
– If I work hard and play my next cards right, I might get to do it with Paradox… or I'll go back home to my sweet Jasmine. Ha haaaahaha! Perfect plan.
Dreaming should always remain a fundamental right. So even if they strip me of all my other human rights, I'll keep dreaming. Because that, no one can take away.
– No. Go back and clean the yard. The students are done already, said the old man, tossing my recommendation onto the pile of papers on his desk… along with my dreams.
– I'm telling you, Shahid Nemour personally recommended me!
– And I heard you, but I refuse. The recommendation only applies to residents of the allied countries of the school and sorcerers with special rights. Nemour, with all her authority, can only recommend those from the first category. But you're not from this world. And Nemour doesn't have a special recommendation card. So forget it. If you understand, pick up your broom and get back to work. Otherwise, you won't be fed.
And that's how I got thrown out and lost that hard-earned recommendation letter… the one for which I wasn't even sure what the Shahid would demand in return.
– You old bastard… I swear you'll pay for this.
As I fumed, a young woman passed me and knocked on the old Shahid's door. Curious, I stayed to see what would happen… and I nearly fell over naked. Not that I wasn't already naked.
– Good morning, darling, sleep well? asked the Shahid as he opened the door with an expression as soft as rain.
– Yes, my golden sugar, the beautiful woman — who I'd swear was still in her thirties — replied, caressing the old man's head. And I see you've been working too hard again. How about I give you a little massage? she said with extreme sensuality.
– Oh hohohoho, that's a wonderful idea, the old man rejoiced, inviting his wife into his office and closing the door slowly behind her.
That's when our eyes met. And the old man flashed me a smug smile so infuriating I wanted to grab the nearest flower pot and smash his bald duck head. But alas… such is the sad life of someone without a well-placed uncle.
I swallowed my anger and all my jealousy before walking away. Alone. In my despair.
That said, even for the saddest, most miserable man in the world, there is one thing that never betrays: faith. And I should've had faith in my religion, because soon, it would solve all my problems… though in a rather unexpected way. Yes, I'm talking, of course, about my goddess Paradox and her cult.
My vengeance was closer than I thought.