Gerai and his forces were in Arun, a small town in the northern part of the country. Gerai, wearing heavy silver armor without a helmet, an axe on his back, and riding a white horse, stood at the front of an army of about a thousand – a mix of various races, some more, some less oppressed, all opposed to the king and his rule. Among the soldiers were a handful of goblins and gnolls, a few ogres, and humans. The largest group were the beast-people, from a few Tiriga serving as generals to Varii, Quii, and several other kinds.
Another Tiriga appeared near Gerai. He had long black hair and golden eyes. He wore a monochrome outfit: a hooded cloak and long pants matching the color of his hair.
"Gerai," he said in a serious, quiet tone, "everything is going according to plan. The false rumors that we'd attack from the south caused the villagers to be relocated. They don't suspect that their belongings were destroyed in vain. Right now over a hundred people are camping in tents on the outskirts of the capital."
"Great work, Nevai. You know what to do – incite them to revolt. If we want our plan to succeed, we need to create chaos."
"Yes, I understand".
Nevai disappeared as suddenly as he had showed up. Gerai turned to face his army.
Damn, what a hassle. I should give them some kind of speech, anything to make them feel more confident. Ever since I handed over my Tae and the next generation of Tiriga to dayun, I've felt no fear. I wouldn't feel regret if I died today, but I would miss my daughter...
I don't know what to say. I've never been good at coming up with fancy, flowery speeches – I've always thought it was a waste of time and energy.
I'll tell them what I can in the way I know how.
"Don't be afraid of what lies ahead," Gerai began his speech, his deep, resonant voice echoing through the valleys. "Don't fear pain or defeat. One wound does not mean death, one defeat does not mean the end of the war, but one victory and one more life saved brings us closer to fulfilling our ideals! To build a better tomorrow, even if it means shedding much blood today!" He raised his axe high and shouted, and the soldiers responded in kind.
"Let us go where we want to ensure a future free from fear for our children! Only the gods will be able to judge whether we were right!"
The soldiers, full of motivation, shouted loudly once again.
Gerai swung his axe toward the walls of Arun, commanding them to attack. His army moved forward.
*
Aulora had come to Arun for a vacation. She enjoyed the fresh sea air and the slightly cooler northern temperatures.
The young mage walked through the small market with a smile on her face, stepping along the cobblestone streets surrounded by colorful townhouses decorated with carvings that caught the eye. She held a fresh fish on a string in one hand, bought cheaply.
I can't wait to cook this. I wonder how different it'll be from the ones I usually eat – either a bit old, or preserved unnaturally with magic.
I can finally take a breather from all the stress that's been building up around me. Being the top fire magic student at the best magic school in the country takes a lot of work, and then there's that mission I got assigned to with Rai…
Aulora paused for a moment, tightening her grip on the string.
I keep thinking about those people, about what I had to do.
I left because I still can't get over it. I can't face them, but at the same time, I want to help.
She looked over at a fruit stand nearby.
The young sorceress heard an explosion, followed by the sound of an alarm horn. A cloud of smoke and fire began to rise from behind the rooftops of the buildings. Aulora stared in that direction, frozen. Her eyes widened in shock, and her grip loosened, causing the fish she had bought to fall to the floor.
No way! Tiriga were supposed to start their rebellion in the south! Could it be a demon army? This city's close to the front…
"Hey, girl in the black hat!" one of the city guards shouted. Aulora, lost in her thoughts, didn't respond. "Hey, you there!" he yelled louder.
"H-huh?" she replied, her voice trembling.
"You're a fire mage, right? I can tell from your clothes. Come with me, we need everyone who can fight," he said, grabbing her hand.
"W-what's… happening?" she stammered.
"Rebels led by one of the Tiriga have attacked us. We weren't ready for this. There's no time to explain. Move, woman!" he shouted, tugging her hand harder.
Partly out of fear and sadness, Aulora followed the guard, even though she didn't want to.
Impossible… Please, let this be a bad dream.
She pinched herself, but it didn't help.
No.
No!
I destroyed those people's homes for nothing. I'm no different from the demons. I'm a monster. I don't want to be here, I want to run away!
*
A moment later, Aulora found herself on the walls among a group of a few dozen archers. She looked down at Gerai's army already at the base of the walls. Some were fighting a small group of foot soldiers, some were climbing up, and others were trying to break through the gate.
I don't want to hurt anyone else.
I didn't study fire magic for this, I…
"Cast a wide range spell!" shouted an archer next to her. "Quick, do it and take them out! A fire mage should be able to handle this!"
"B-b-but I…" she muttered, her voice trembling.
"Didn't you hear what I said, for fuck's sake? Cast the fucking spell and don't stand there like a..." The archer didn't finish. An enemy arrow dove into his forehead, spraying blood onto Aulora's robe. She gripped her staff tighter, her legs starting to shake.
I don't want to die here, and I don't want to hurt anyone else. They always told me that my unique magical talent could be used for the good of the country.
I started studying fire magic because I loved fireworks and seeing the joy on people's faces.
I… is this what serving the country looks like? I don't want to be here.
Her body shuddered with fear – fear of death and fear of herself.
"I don't want to be here!", she screamed, tears in her eyes, and in a panic, started making her way through the rest of the soldiers, running blindly, anywhere, just to hide. She surrounded herself with a barrier of flames. Some soldiers tried to strike her with daggers to punish her for desertion, but the barrier held them back.
Aulora ran into the tower on her right – the nearest building on her path. She ran crying, covering her ears to block out the sounds of battle.
Once inside, she deactivated her magic to avoid starting a fire, and causing even more chaos. She rushed to the nearest door and locked it from the inside.
Breathing heavily, she leaned against the large wooden door. She couldn't stop shaking.
Aulora looked around. She had ended up in an almost empty armory. On a table lay a few spare one-handed swords, a quiver of arrows, and two polished suits of armor stood on racks. The room was dark and cold, and the air was damp and unpleasant.
Aulora carelessly tossed her mage staff on the floor inside, then walked toward the darkest corner of the room – right next to one of the suits of armor. She curled up and began to cry uncontrollably.
Tears wouldn't stop streaming down her cheeks. She was shaking so badly that she couldn't even tell if it was from the cold or from the whirlwind of emotions raging inside her.
"I'm hopeless!" Aulora shouted to herself, her voice trembling with emotion. "I just wanted people to enjoy my magical fire shows, to feel warm in my flames on cold winter nights. I never wanted my magic to be used like this! I couldn't say no again, and now everyone's suffering because of it. What the hell does 'the good of the country' even mean? Killing others? Giving up my values just to carry out another stupid, pointless slaughter? I don't want this!" Angrily, she slammed her hand against one of the racks, toppling it. The armor hit the floor with a huge noise, but Aulora didn't care. She curled up even tighter.
How can I be so unlucky? I'm not cut out for fighting on the front lines. I still feel guilty after destroying those people's homes, even though I was just doing the horrible job I was given. I should have refused, even if they took away my right to be an official mage as punishment.
I couldn't kill someone, especially someone who had done nothing wrong to me. This isn't my conflict, it's not my rebellion, it's not my war, I...
I don't know.
I just don't know what to think about all this. I wanted to serve my country faithfully, but if I have to do all these disgusting things in Atoria's name, I'd rather give up magic for the rest of my life.
I am... useless and hopeless.
I just feel sorry for myself, and when I need to, I can't stand up for my ideals.
I hate myself.
Aulora buried her face in her knees, unable to stop another wave of sobs, louder and harsher than before.
The mage sat alone, crying and weeping in the cold darkness.
In her mind, this was all she deserved in life.
*
A few hours later…
"Finally, we've taken the city! We've taken Arun!" Gerai shouted from the town walls. His army let out a triumphant cheer.
Two of his soldiers approached him. One of them was a Tiriga, a man slightly shorter but just as muscular, with short red hair and blue eyes. He wore wide white silk pants and golden gauntlets on his arms. His torso was bare. The other was a one-eyed ogre in light armor, holding a mace.
"Boss, we found something interesting. You should see this," the Tiriga said.
"Is it really that important, Haien?" Gerai asked, surprised.
"Maybe not that important… but… I'm not sure what to do."
Gerai sighed.
"Alright, I'm coming. In the meantime," Gerai turned to the ogre, "calm the people, Lakih. Give a speech, talk to them, we need to win them over and make sure they're not hostile."
"Understood. I'll do my best," Lakih replied and headed down from the walls to figure out the next steps with the rest of the army.
"Lead the way," Gerai said to Haien, who nodded in response.
Both of them went to the western tower.
"I forced the door open. Looks like an armory with a small but useful equipment. There's a crying kid inside who didn't answer any of my questions. I tried getting her out by force, but she won't move, and I don't want to break her arm."
"Stay put," Gerai said, then stepped inside.
The Tiriga leader looked at the Aulora, huddled in the corner..
"Been sitting here long?" he asked with a smile. "Wait… didn't I see you on the walls?"
Aulora raised her eyes, full of sadness.
"P-please… d-don't hurt me… I-I didn't mean to destroy th-their homes, k-king…" She fell silent, then looked away. "No," she added more confidently. "Maybe I deserve it."
"Hm, if Atoria assigns such serious tasks to kids like you, I guess they really are short on staff," he said, then laughed. "Besides, I saw that you couldn't handle the pressure, you ran away as fast as you could."
"Huh?! I'm not a kid, I'm nearly twenty!" Aulora said, a bit annoyed, ignoring the second part of what he said – which, unfortunately, was true.
"You better not sit on the cold ground too long, or you'll catch a chill," Gerai said with a teasing grin.
"What am I five yeaaa-aachoo!" Aulora sneezed, and her nose instantly turned red.
"Exactly what I mean. Also…" Gerai glanced aside, lifting her staff. "This yours, right?"
Aulora stood up hesitantly and pulled her hat down to cover her eyes. She shyly took her staff from Gerai, muttering a quiet thank you.
"Why… why are you so… nice to me? W-won't y-you kill me? A-after all I'm your enemy".
"You didn't attack my people, so I have no reason to hurt you. Besides, all I see here is a scared girl who doesn't know which way to go," he replied, then smiled and reached out his hand to her. Gerai thought at that moment that she was someone's daughter. He imagined Tae in a similar situation and how he would want someone to save her if she were in Aulora 's place. His heart was filled with genuine compassion, hidden somewhere behind his stern gaze. "Maybe you'd like to join us? You don't have to fight. Many of the boys in my army love fireworks and fire displays, and keeping up morale is important too."
Aulora looked up at him, her eyes full of emotion, surprise, and hope.
"I…I…"
I don't understand anything that's going on here anymore. The people who were supposed to be enemies of our nation turn out to be incredibly kind… they're not the mindless beasts they're made out to be. I know their people were decimated. I want to know what they're really fighting for. Maybe I was on the wrong side?
"…I don't want to be a burden to anyone! I don't want to hurt anyone else!", Aulora raised her voice, and a few tears slipped down her cheeks.
It felt so good to shout those words out loud instead of just keeping them inside. From now on, this is my promise and my vow. I hope the whole world will hear it, she thought, and held out her hand to Gerai.