I woke up to pain.
My head hurt. The headache and the visions came back stronger. I curled up on the floor, taking deep breaths, clutching my head.
It took some time before I could breathe the pain away. When it finally lessened, I waited a moment, then placed my hands on the ground and pushed myself upward until I was sitting. My eyes were wet with tears, and my vision was blurry. It was cold. My upper body was bare, and the cold air brushed my skin.
I looked around for something to cover myself.
A black cloth lay on the floor next to me. I reached out for it as pain spread through my arm. My memories were in disarray, but they were slowly coming back.
The sigil.
The branding.
The heat.
The pain.
My chest stung at the memory.
I grabbed the cloth and wiped my eyes dry. As my vision cleared, I realized the cloth was a shirt.
They must have thrown it inside after I blacked out.
I held the shirt in my right hand and looked down at my left forearm. The brand...
I brushed my fingers across the burned skin. Each touch left pain behind.
Then my chest. I looked down, and there, burned deep into red flesh, was my name.
[Adonis]
The clean writing made it even crueler.
I couldn't look at the brands anymore. I put the shirt on. The rough fabric scratched against the wounds, as the long sleeves covered the marks on my arm.
The cloth was cold, it cooled my burning skin. The pain faded after a while, only for another one to return.
It crawled up my skull like an invisible weight pressing down from above.
It started slowly and grew stronger with each second. It felt like a hammer was striking my head again and again. I clutched my head and fell back down.
"Agghh!"
The pain grew stronger as it spread through my body, making my limbs tremble.
I shut my eyes.
Darkness.
I tried to force the headache away, the same way I had done at the banquet, but it didn't work...
The pain stayed.
I curled up even more.
Then—
The darkness vanished.
A flash of light.
And they came.
Running images flooded my mind.
The visions.
They were strange. Things I didn't know, people I'd never seen, but at the same time, familiar.
A glowing square flickered in the dark. Numbers shifted across it like living things.
Tap.
Tap.
Quick clicks rang through the air. My fingers danced across soft black wood, each touch making a clicking sound. My clothes were strange. A white buttoned shirt of smooth fabric, black trousers, and something thin around my neck like a thin scarf.
Every touch of my fingers made more numbers and letters appear on a glowing white square. No ink. No paper. The air smelled faintly chemical, like an alchemist's lab.
The one who sat in front of the glowing square?
It was me.
My strange clothes. My hands were tapping across the wooden board. My eyes watched as the letters changed with every click.
Then pain spiked again. My vision swam as my eyes opened. I clawed at the ground as I gasped for air.
"Stop—!"
Tears slid down my cheeks. The pain was too much.
Then, suddenly, it eased. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes in relief.
And the next vision came.
The buildings and floor around me were strange. The floor was hard but not like stone, something else. The buildings were too tall and their walls reflected light. Around me were carriages without horses, their eyes shining with light.
My head turned as I felt a touch on my skin.
And there stood a girl.
She was close. Her hand held mine, warm and soft. Her perfume smelled sweet. Light brown hair flowed down her shoulders. Her green eyes caught mine while her lips curved into a smile that warmed my heart.
She wore strange clothes. A shirt with an image painted on it, words I couldn't read. Ripped black trousers and heels.
Her voice came soft as she called me.
"Lukas."
I tried to speak, to ask who she was, but pain tore through me, erasing the scene.
With the pain came a name.
"Lisa Hazel."
The name itself dulled the pain for a heartbeat as I spoke it.
Then it came back.
My eyes opened again to the dim light of the cell. My hands clutched the floor. I curled tighter. It felt safer that way.
My breath came sharp and ragged. The pain only worsened. My vision darkened before another flash appeared.
This time, I knew it.
Rowena.
My aunt and mother.
We were in the training yard. The marquis had ordered me to begin sword training, and Favian had beaten me. Mother knelt before me, her warm hands holding my face as she wiped blood from my lip. Her touch was gentle.
Her encouraging words made me cry as I hugged her tightly. Her lavender perfume brushed my nose.
"Mother…"
I missed her.
Then warmth turned to pain again.
"Aggh!"
I was kneeling on the ground, forehead pressed against cold stone, tears dripping onto it. The smell of burned flesh clung to me. My fingers clawed the floor as if it could hold me.
My sharp breaths steadied the pain for a moment before it surged again.
I couldn't breathe. My legs trembled as I pushed myself up. I needed more air.
My vision swam as the pain intensified again.
"No— Please…"
My begging didn't help.
The pain grew.
My hands clutched my skull as I screamed.
"Agghhh!"
I fell. My skull hit stone.
Thud.
And then the flood broke.
Flashes. Faster with no pause between them.
The training yard again. A voice shouted:
"Cut. Recover!"
I felt the weight of steel in my hands. The rough leather of the handle.
Another strange place.
My fists struck a bag that hung from a chain. The smell of sweat and leather. Knuckles wrapped in white cloth. My chest heaved as if I'd been running, and sweat flowed down my face.
Another flash. The dining hall.
The long cherrywood table. Silverware laid out in lines. Theodora laughed while I stumbled through posture lessons. Her laughter echoed through the room. It made my chest ache.
I clawed at my hair.
"Stop it—!"
Bam.
My fists hit the floor. Blood ran down my knuckles.
Bam.
Again.
The visions sped up.
In a hall of polished wood. I sat on a cushioned bench. A glowing metal square hung on the wall. Images flashed on it one after the other like a theater.
A crowd in uniforms. A field stretching ahead. I stood, posture straight with cold metal in my hands as a shout rang through the air.
"Shoot!"
Fire spat from the end of the metal rod. The push of the recoil made my body jolt back.
Ring.
A ringing bell.
A phone pressed to my ear. A voice whispered. Lisa's voice.
I lifted my head, hands gripping the wall to steady myself.
I shouted.
"STOP!"
My voice echoed through the cell, but it didn't stop.
A desk. A teacher pointing at chalk marks on a green board.
The smell of perfume. A girl's lips touching mine.
The sound of a car. A street at night. Lisa's laughter.
My body failed. I fell again.
The storm didn't stop.
A banquet hall. Theodora feeding me pastries.
The library. Lucien's quiet voice. Pen and paper on the table.
Mother's hug after my awakening.
Everything blurred. Sound and color smashed into each other.
Faster. No order.
Lisa's smile.
Mother's embrace.
A commander's shout.
A phone buzzing.
Steel clashing.
Theodora's laugh.
Lisa's smile.
My head slammed against the floor.
Thud.
"Make it stop…"
It slowed.
A horn.
The crash.
The world spun in glass and metal. Screams rang. Lisa's wide eyes. Blood on her lips. Her hand reaching for mine.
The tribunal.
Favian's poisonous smile.
Anton's cold eyes.
Selene's soft voice.
The hammer falling.
I curled on the floor, palms pressed to my head, until the pain vanished.
The images faded with the pain.
I took a deep breath, steadying myself.
Haah.
Slowly, I sat up. The pain lingered but weakened with every breath.
I thought back to the visions.
Or were they even visions?
Should I call them memories?
The memories.
The things that felt strange but oddly familiar.
I understood them now.
The glowing square was a computer. The wooden board was a keyboard. The box that showed images was a television. The carriage with lights was a car.
It all slid into place like pieces of a puzzle.
I pressed both hands to my head, fingers twisting my hair. My voice was hoarse.
"Who am I?"
My mind drifted back.
Am I Adonis Ashspire? The boy who was betrayed and sold as a slave.
Or Lukas Wane? The man who drove the car and loved Lisa?
My hands trembled, nails scratching skin.
I have the memories of both of them. The lives of two strangers replayed in my mind.
Memory after memory.
If memories shape who we are, then which memories define me? Am I both… or neither?
Are these even my memories?
Was I just a blank page all along? Rewritten with every experience I've made?
Was I only half of myself, waiting to be complete again?
If I lost every memory, would I still be me? Or would I simply become someone else?
And what if these memories aren't even mine? What if they belong to someone else?
If I can remember another person's life. Their choices, their love, their pain. Does that make me them?
I remember so I am?
But if these memories aren't mine…what happens when they fade?
Do I become someone else again?
Are memories truly what define who we are?
If they are, then why do we forget?
Why can't we remember the moment we were born? The first time we cried or the first step we took?
The mind forgets, yet we remain.
Maybe memory doesn't define us.
But it reminds us of how we became?
Who is the real me? The noble child with a sword, or the man with a phone in his hand?
The questions gnawed at me. I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself, but memories came through again.
Rowena's embrace.
Theodora's tears.
Lucien's hand on my shoulder.
Lisa's laugh.
The crash.
I couldn't separate them anymore.
Lukas.
Adonis.
Memories of two lives.
Both familiar.
Both felt like mine.
Different names.
Different memories.
Different worlds.
But—
The same choices.
The same habits.
The same heart.
I closed my eyes.
Their memories no longer confused me.
They began to align, fitting together piece by piece, completing each other.
They became one, not two.
I pressed a shaking hand against the brand on my chest. The skin still burned beneath my palm.
Slowly, breath by breath, the truth took shape. And my lips parted as I spoke it.
"I was Lukas Wane. I died in a car crash. I was reborn as Adonis Ashspire."
Not strangers.
We were always the same person.
I tightened my grip on the brand.
"And now, I am just…"
My eyes opened.
"Adonis."