1:46 AM — The Night at the Konbini is the Same as Always
The fluorescent lights buzzed like drunk flies, illuminating aisles packed with products no one would buy at this hour. The air smelled of reheated coffee and loneliness—the specific kind of loneliness that only exists in big cities, where there are so many people that everyone ends up equally alone.
Behind the counter, there was me, Hiroto, the most sarcastic employee in this nocturnal existential dumpster. I tried not to think about how pathetic my life was, but right next to me, as always, was her.
Aoi.
My coworker, or perhaps my punishment for pirating movies as a teenager.
"Nyaaa~ Hiroto-kun, why do you have that depressed look on your face again?" she said, rocking on her small feet, making her skirt sway dangerously. She was wearing the Konbini uniform, but somehow managed to make the skirt shorter than regulations allowed, as if testing my patience or my self-control. Of course, her black dog tag collar jingled with the movement, mocking me.
"Because I'm in a shitty job, serving people who look like ghosts, with a coworker who seems straight out of an +18 doujinshi," I replied, deliberately ignoring how her skirt moved every time she laughed.
"Uuuuh, so cruel! But I'm your cute and adorable coworker, right? Riiight?" She got way too close, leaning on the counter and arching her back in a way that couldn't possibly be accidental.
"You're like a cat someone abandoned at the door and now it won't leave."
"Nyaa~! That's adorable!" she said, smiling with those little shark teeth that seemed designed to bite into my peace of mind or rip my arm off.
A customer entered.
"Irrashaimaseeeen~!" Aoi sang, with a fake, sarcastic cheerfulness that made you want to vomit. The man, an office worker who looked like he hadn't slept in three days, didn't even look up.
"You could save your energy. No one comes here at night to listen to you."
"But it's fun to see them get all flustered," she replied, spinning on her heels and letting her skirt do that thing again.
After a few minutes, she brought up the topic:
"Hey, Hiroto-kun~," she said suddenly, hopping up to sit on the counter, completely ignoring all workplace safety rules. "Why do you think men are so obsessed with panties?"
"Seriously? You want to talk about that?"
"Yes! It's an interesting topic, like aliens or why seasonal anime always has an unnecessary loli."
I snorted.
"It's simple. It's about the secret. Society says 'don't look,' so perverts turn it into a fetish. It's the same reason people romanticize yanderes or think tsunderes are cute and not an emotional disaster."
"Uuuuh, such a cold analysis!" Aoi laughed, swinging her legs. "But I think it's because they're cute. Like me!"
"No, it's because pop culture has fetishized a piece of cloth to the point there's merchandise, figures, and even contests for sniffing used panties. It's depressing."
"What if I told you I'm wearing black ones with a little bear print today?" she asked, leaning forward with a sarcastic smile.
"I don't care."
"Liar~. Your eyes glanced down half a millimeter."
"It was an involuntary reflex, like when you see a traffic accident."
"Hiroto-kun, you're a tsundere!" she shouted, pointing at me as if she'd won something.
"I'm a realist. You're the one who dresses like you're at a doujin convention every night."
"Because life is short, Hiroto-kun, and if I'm going to be in this dumpster, at least I want to have some fun~," she said, hopping off the counter and doing a spin, letting her skirt fly up for an instant before landing, showing me something I didn't want to see.
They did have a bear print.
"You're a public menace."
"I'm your public menace!" she replied, winking.
I couldn't help but snort. Stupid brat.
And so the hours passed. Aruing about nonsense, making fun of the customers, the job, the world. Her, moving like a car without brakes, and me, trying not to laugh to avoid losing my status as the sarcastic cynic.
At 4 AM, a drunk guy came in to buy more sake. Aoi sang him her most mocking irrashaimaseeeen.
The guy didn't even flinch.
"See? This is capitalism," I murmured. "We sell alcohol to people who are slowly killing themselves, and they pay us peanuts to do it."
"But we get a discount on ramen~," she said, winking as if that fixed everything.
"You're too optimistic."
"And you're too bitter. Luckily for you, you have me here."
"That's not luck, it's a punishment."
"Nyaaa~, same to you."
And so, between insults and laughter, the night passed.
Soon, the sun would rise.
And tomorrow, it would be another identical night.
But, for some stupid reason, I felt like that didn't bother me as much as it should.