It was a new morning. Only two days were left before I had to leave for abroad… and three days before Sarthak's engagement with Aarne.
When I went downstairs, I froze. Aarne and Sarthak were showing everyone their engagement outfits. My heart sank at the sight. My chest grew heavy, my eyes burned with tears I refused to let fall. I forced myself to smile and quickly told Manya, "Let's go shopping."
But the truth was—I couldn't think of shopping, clothes, or anything else. Only one thought echoed in my head:
Why, God? Why are you giving me this pain? Am I so bad that I don't deserve him?
Tears slipped out no matter how much I tried to stop them.
Manya noticed.
Manya: "Sammy, why are you crying?"
Me: "I just… I just can't control it anymore. My heart feels so heavy. I can't see them together, Manya. It's killing me."
She immediately hugged me tight, her warmth trying to hold me together.
Manya: "Shh… you're brave, Sammy. Brave enough to love someone silently and still not fight for what isn't yours. Don't blame yourself for breaking when it hurts this much."
Her words only made me burst into heavier tears.
After some time, she took me to a pharmacy to buy medicine for my "cold and headache." In truth, they were for my broken heart. Later, we stopped at a roadside stall.
Manya: "What do you want to eat? I'm paying today."
Me (sniffling): "Oh really? Then I'll have one plate of chole bhature… and chai."
Manya: "Done. I'll order."
While she went to order, I stared blankly into nothing, lost in my pain. She returned with the food.
Manya: "Here, Sammy. Eat."
Me: "Thanks…"
We ate in silence and then left for shopping, but my heart stayed elsewhere.
When we reached home, we threw our bags on the couch and collapsed.
Together: "We're back!"
Everyone came downstairs, asking questions—where we had gone, whether we had eaten. But I barely heard them. The only thing I noticed was Sarthak and Aarne weren't there. Again.
The ache inside me grew sharper. I excused myself quickly and escaped to my room before my tears betrayed me.
That night, sleep refused to come. My mind kept circling back to one question: Why isn't he home yet?
Restless, I went downstairs, opened the wine cabinet, and grabbed a bottle. One sip became two… and soon, the bitter liquid drowned my senses. My head grew light, my vision blurry, until I slumped on the couch, waiting for him.
The sound of the front door opening startled me, but I was too dizzy to move. Sarthak entered—tie loosened, blazer in his hand. His eyes immediately fell on me. At first, his jaw tightened with anger. But then… when he saw my tear-streaked face, his expression softened.
He walked over, crouched beside me, and gently brushed a strand of hair from my face.
Sarthak (softly): "Little drunkard… why are you crying like this?"
I lifted my heavy eyes to him, my emotions spilling over uncontrollably.
Me: "Do you even know, Sarthak… how much I love you? So much that I can't breathe without you. When I see you with another woman, my heart… it feels like it's being torn apart. I can't stop the tears, I can't stop the pain…"
I sobbed, my words trembling.
Me: "When my big brother Aarnik died, I thought no one could ever be that special to me again. But then… you. You became my everything. And now, I can't sleep, I can't eat… I drink just to forget you, but I only end up loving you more."
I took a shaky breath, half-mumbling, half-pleading.
Me: "I want to tell myself I don't love you anymore… that you mean nothing to me… that I'll let you go and even see you have a family with someone else. But I can't. God knows, I can't. Because I love you, Sarthak. I love you so much…"
My words broke into sobs until exhaustion dragged me into unconsciousness.
Sarthak caught me before I collapsed completely. He lifted me carefully in his arms, his eyes glistening as he whispered to my sleeping face.
Sarthak: "Samira… you foolish, stubborn girl. I love you too. I always did."
He carried me to his room, laid me gently on his bed, and tucked the blanket around me. Leaning down, he pressed a soft kiss on my forehead. Then he slid beside me, wrapping me in his arms as if afraid I'd vanish.
Sarthak (whispering in the dark): "No matter what happens, you're mine, Sammy. Only mine."
Morning came too soon.
Me (half-asleep, rushing): "Maa, I'm late!"
Manya: "Me too, Aunty!"
We hurried to the dining table where Maa handed us our tiffins. Everything felt normal on the surface. But inside me… nothing was normal anymore.
Because last night, for the first time, I had said the words I'd been dying to say—
And Sarthak had whispered back the truth I never dared to dream.