Shoutout to Joe and Ose, legends in the ranks, keeping the chaos running strong.
This is a Bonus Chapter. Another chapter is on its way.
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Zoey leaned towards me."So... you and Cassie are a thing or is she, like, a one-time deal?"
I looked at her. Her mouth twitched like she was about to bite back the words, but she waited.
"No label," I said, chewing on the last fry. "Cassie wanted fun. I delivered. If she wants more, she knows where to sit."
Harry gave a half-smirk. Snapback guy just stared like I had balls made of obsidian. Tall guy stared like he wanted to punch me.
Ah. I see. He wants to bang Zoey.
Zoey was still watching me. Her knees shifted under the table, leg brushing against mine, subtle like she was trying to pull a thigh move without drawing attention. Tall guy definitely noticed. His grip on the soda can looked like it might crumple.
[System]: Mmm~ tension ping. Boner envy detected. That dude wants her bad, sugar. And now he thinks you are in the way.
I glanced at him, held his stare for a second, then looked away like he was not even in the equation.
"You are funny," Zoey said. "In a scary way."
"You sound turned on."
She laughed. "Little bit."
"Careful," I said, smirking. "You flirt too hard, and your friend over there might think we are dating."
Snapback guy's eyebrows shot up.
Tall guy tried to say something. Stopped. Took a bite of his burger instead.
Bracelet girl leaned forward. "You think he is the jealous type?"
"No," I said. "I think he jerks off to you in the locker room and gets mad every time you wear a tank top."
She blinked.
Snapback choked.
Harry laughed into his soda.
Tall guy slammed his tray down and stood up.
"I am done," he said. "Not hungry anymore."
Nobody stopped him. He walked off stiff, tray half-full, ego bleeding.
Zoey tilted her head, watching him walk away. "He is not my boyfriend."
"Does he know that?" I asked.
Her lips twitched. "Guess he does now."
Harry sat back, arms behind his head. "You just triggered a love triangle and didn't even finish your lunch."
"I am multitasking."
Zoey giggled. "What else can you multitask?"
I smiled. "What are you offering?"
Snapback shook his head. "Dude, you are a menace."
"Compliment accepted."
The table relaxed. Jokes kept coming.
I stood up first.
Snapback said, "Yo, where you going?"
"Gotta stretch," I said. "That energy does not burn itself."
Zoey gave me a look. "Want me to help with that?"
I walked away. "Nah. Later."
I ignored their chuckles, left behind Snapback's jaw halfway open, and Harry giving me that look like he already wanted the sequel.
I wasn't about to rack up a full week of missing periods. Last two days were skipped for special occassions. Felt enough like rebellion. Besides, occasional attendance made the truancy stats harder to track.
[System]: Mmm~ responsible delinquency. That is my baby. Just bad enough to make teachers worry, but good enough to avoid detention. Balance is hot.
Geometry again. Third period. Boring as hell. Mr. Lancer looked like he wanted to retire three years ago, still holding on out of spite. I stepped in, caught the attendance sheet mid-roll call, slid into my seat like I had never left.
Class dragged. Angles, theorems, stuff only the depressed or engineers cared about. My notebook stayed blank. Didn't even fake notes. Just twirled my pen and let my eyes wander. Two girls in the back giggled a couple of times. Looked my way. One bit her lower lip like she had something to say.
When classes ended, I left the building, walking home. I made it halfway down the steps when someone fell into step beside me like she had been waiting for the bell too.
Felicia.
Tight pants. Looser grin.
She adjusted her bag strap, glanced sideways. "What did you do to my innocent Peter?"
I shrugged. "Shot him with my first creampie, I guess."
She snorted. "You were cuter before."
I kept walking. She stayed next to me. "Well, you never once spoke to that cute Peter."
Felicia nudged my shoulder with hers. "You were like a cute pet in a zoo. I didn't want to scare you."
I gave a dry haha. "Well, what am I now?"
"Dangerous."
"Is that your thing? You like dangerous boys?" I stretched my arms over my head, cracked my neck.
"No," she said, sharp. "I like control. Dangerous is just an extra topping."
[System]: Mmm~ she wants to leash you. Good luck with that, kitten.
Felicia's hips swayed a little more as she walked. Not an accident. She was flexing in case I forgot how hot she thought she was. "So, what is your deal now? You just upgraded and started dicking down cheerleaders in alleyways?"
"I had a coupon. Buy one humiliation, get one orgasm free."
We crossed the street. She kept pace, which meant she wanted to keep talking.
"She said you were cocky. Literally. Also, figuratively."
"Which part impressed her more?"
"She didn't shut up about either."
"Then I did my job."
Felicia turned toward me a little. "You going through girls now, or is there some secret tragic backstory to why you are acting like Midtown's first sentient STD?"
"Do you care?"
"No," she said fast. "But if you are keeping a list, I want to know what slot I am fighting for."
I smirked. "You think I make lists?"
"You reek of planner energy."
[System]: Ooooh~ she clocked your type. Pencil case kid turned pussy collector. Sexy evolution.
I grabbed her arm and yanked her across the street just as a black Civic tore past, horn blaring. Her hand caught my bicep for balance, heels clicking over the asphalt. We landed on the sidewalk clean. I dropped her arm.
She didn't.
Her hand stayed latched onto mine like I was her leash now.
"Too bad," I said. "I am not making any list. Deep down I am still the same loser nerd. My performance and girth might have been exposed, but I am not seeking a cock humidifier."
Felicia laughed. "Well, you failed at that. Midtown's wetter than the locker room after swim team practice."
I shrugged. "Cool. Don't care."
Felicia stopped walking, dropped my arm, and tilted her head slightly like she was debating how blunt to be.
"Just so you know, some girls at Midtown live to ruin boys. Like actually. One mistake and they will turn you into group chat horror stories. Since you are new in the scene, be careful."
I gave her a two-finger salute. "Thanks. I will be on lookout."
She rolled her eyes and gave me a little airkiss like we were in some French soap opera. Then she peeled off in the opposite direction, hips doing that perfect sway like she was trying to keep the last word in body language.
'My next move should be investing. I got crypto, cash, loot. Might as well do something smart before I blow it on stealth fabric and vibrator upgrades.'
But...
'System,' I muttered mentally, as I kept on walking, 'do I even know where I am? Like... is this the MCU? Or some alternate Spider-shit? Some of the girls in school don't line up. So… what the hell are we dealing with?'
[System]: Mmm~ sugar, you finally asking the big questions. About time. Let me run a quick ping across your reality layer.
[System]: Oof. Baby. That is juicy.
'What?'
[System]: Okay, so you are in Earth-69-WTF. Not MCU proper. Not 616 either. This place is like a fanfic dimension gone rogue. It has pieces of canon, some MCU tech, some Ultimate energy, a sprinkle of Sony's failed scripts, and the rest is whatever this timeline decided to half-ass.
I blinked as I passed Mrs. Latep's flower shop.
'So no Thanos?'
[System]: He exists. Probably. Might be a kid. Might be retired. Might be a furry now. No clue.
'You had to put Furry Thanos into my mind, didn't you?'
[System]: Mmm~ sorry, sugar. Just imagine the fur suit... purple... tail... Infinity butt plug.
"For the love of..."
[System]: He snaps, half the galaxy gets yiffed.
I rubbed my temples. "Okay, enough. I know Tony exists. He did his debut already. Obarrah attacked him a while back. I missed the golden investment window with Stark. Hulk showed up too. What else we got?"
[System]: Mmm~ you are in luck. This world is a mixed bag of pre-avengers chaos and half-formed timelines. Hulk exists. Thor probably still chasing goats in Norway. Steve is on ice. Shield is standing, but they are leaking like your sheets last night. There is chatter about Wakanda, but the public thinks it is just a tech myth with good PR.
"So... early days. No purple space raisin. No army of bug aliens crashing through the sky yet?"
[System]: Not yet. But the chessboard is setting up. You have time to build before the big boys crash the party.
"Who else is around?"
[System]: Alright, let me run the hero scan. Deep breath, baby. Spandex roll call incoming.
[System]: Tony Stark: confirmed. Loud, rich, and already pissing off the military-industrial complex. Missed the IPO. Sorry.
[System]: Bruce Banner: active but erratic. Currently off-grid. Last seen shirtless in the Andes. Probably not vibing with reality right now.
[System]: Stephen Strange: still a surgeon. Ego is the size of the Chrysler Building. Hasn't found the Kama Sutra of Magic yet.
[System]: Natasha Romanoff: active. Deep cover. She shows up, people die, and nobody remembers who she was banging.
[System]: Clint Barton: somewhere in Iowa being white and invisible. No arrows fired yet.
[System]: Nick Fury: watching everything. Knows everything. Probably masturbating to conspiracy files right now.
[System]: Carol Danvers? Not even on Earth. Somewhere in space arguing with tentacle monsters and being aggressively bisexual.
[System]: Wakanda: cloaked. Still a rumor. Black Panther exists but not publicly. T'Challa is in king-training. Killmonger is probably still in the 'fuck the world' pipeline.
[System]: Spider-Man: technically you. So, congrats. No other spider dorks yet. You are the one and only bug-boy in the registry.
[System]: Daredevil, Punisher, Luke Cage... all New York noise, but not activated yet. Might be bartending or punching people in Hell's Kitchen without the suit.
I whistled. "So we got the seeds but no team-ups yet. That means no Sokovia Accords. No Civil War. No alien sphincters trying to swallow Manhattan."
[System]: Correct. It is the pre-fuckery phase. Early hero age. You got a clean slate and a horny System. Use it.
"So investment-wise? If I am late to Stark, what can I hit now?"
[System]: Mmm~ now we are talking. Let's stack some coin, sugar. You missed the Tony train, but there are others.
[System]: Oscorp: Still dangerous. Norman Osborn is starting to fund questionable science. His son is still your classmate and future disappointment. Invest, but bail before goblin glider season starts.
[System]: Pym Technologies: Hank Pym is not in the spotlight, but he is building ants with trauma issues. Get in now. Not flashy, but high return later.
[System]: Stark Subsidiaries: look for Advanced Component Systems. They provide half the guts inside Iron Man suits. Boring name. Billion-dollar heart.
[System]: Hammer Industries: They are trash, but if you are playing short-term? Buy now, dump later. Think pump and dump with less dignity.
[System]: Rand Enterprises: If Danny Rand shows up and starts kung-fu-ing people, their stock jumps. Risky, but if you are patient? Gold mine.
[System]: Damage Control: Government cleanup contracts. The second aliens land or Hulk sneezes through a building, this stock explodes.
"Alright, so I split my crypto into pieces. Oscorp for short-term flip. Pym Tech for long-term sit. Stark guts for safety. Hammer for comedy. Rand if I feel lucky."
[System]: Mmm~ now that is a portfolio I can touch myself to.
"How do I even invest as a teenager without raising flags?"
[System]: Leave that to me. I got burner wallets, fake IDs, and account proxies. We will move through three offshore fronts, bounce everything through encrypted brokers. Nobody is gonna notice your high school ass playing hedge fund manager.
"Cool. Let me dump a few grand in tonight. Then we can check prices next week and see who is paying for my tactical underwear."
[System]: Ooh~ investing with boner profits. Now that is poetic.
I crossed the street near the old donut shop. Mrs. Tepal waved at me. I waved back.
[System]: Want me to tag known villain sightings too? Some of them might be low-level enough to farm.
"Farm?"
[System]: Like XP farms. You beat their ass, steal their gear, maybe make them cry. Rinse, repeat. Most of them don't even have powers yet. Just tech and trauma. Perfect punching bags.
"List them."
[System]: Alright, local loser roundup coming in hot.
[System]: Shocker: broke. Still testing gauntlets in his mom's basement. Harmless unless he starts dating someone with self-esteem.
[System]: Tinkerer: probably building illegal drones out of microwaves and PTSD. Worth robbing.
[System]: Scorpion: dumb, angry, waiting for someone to pay him. Would lose a chess match to a Roomba.
[System]: Black Tusk: you already trashed him. He is in the hospital. Crying.
[System]: Tombstone: dangerous, but currently just running money laundering. Not fully mutant yet. Might want to wait unless you feel like getting punched into the stratosphere.
[System]: Hammerhead: mob ties. Thug army. Iron skull. Zero sense of humor.
[System]: Mister Negative: has not activated yet. Still a community leader. Give him time. Soon he will go monochrome emo and start reverse-blessing people.
[System]: Kraven? Not in the country yet. When he lands, he's hunting "beasts." You might be his fetish.
[System]: Morbius? Still a biochemist. Not sexy. Yet. Might be hiding in a lab somewhere yelling at bats.
[System]: And ohhh~ Mysterio? Total fraud. But camera-savvy. You will know when he shows up. Dude carries more drones than the CIA.
"Damn. It is a whole circus."
[System]: Mmm~ and you are the ringmaster, baby. Time to build your empire.
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You can read up to Chapter 85...
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