[2009 – October]
"I- … Thank you for saying all that, Rogue.", Jean said quietly, brushing back a strand of her flaming hair while she pressed herself against her love's chest even more firmly, her hand holding onto his arm, which she had wrapped around her waist.
Jean wanted to forgive Rogue but the last few months had shown her that naive kindness was seldom rewarded. In fact, more often than not, it would lead to even more hurt.
She wasn't sure if this change in her perspective was a result of her being with Elijah, her regular lessons with Emma, or if she had just started to form her own, more realistic, outlook on life without the Professor's meddling.
What Jean did know though was that she would much rather be cautious than regret endangering her loved ones. This was true even while she sensed the disappointment and sadness welling up in Rogue, tears threatening to spill from her eyes as the girl took her words as a rejection.
They weren't though, which was why Jean opened her mouth again and added: "We are going out to eat something at an Italian restaurant a few blocks from here, do you want to come too?"
Having already forgiven Rogue in her heart, Jean had decided to hold back in voicing out her forgiveness and see how things would go between them first from here on out.
After all, words were cheap and she didn't want to be hurt and disappointed again. Because even if Rogue felt regret now, who could tell that she would be able to restrain her own envy the next time Jean needed her support?
Jean wanted to believe Rogue, she wanted to believe in the sincerity that she felt in the other girl's heart, but as Elijah like to say, time was the only real truth finder.
And eventually, it would tell her if Rogue deserved her trust and kindness.
…
The last few months had been rather torturous for Rogue.
The day that Jean had quit her recruit training and Rogue had sided with Kurt and Scott, had been a start of a very painful lesson in regret and self-loathing.
She had been incredibly envious of Jean for having something that seemed so unattainable for her, and it had taken her longer than she cared to admit how despicable she had acted.
But Rogue had eventually understood that she had failed to live up to the heroic ideals the X-Men were supposed to represent with her actions. The way that she had hurt one of her best friends in the mansion out of pure resentment, these days Rogue had problems even looking in the mirror.
She had even spoken with the Professor to change teams as Scott and Kurt did not seem to feel any remorse, especially the former. The way the visor-wearing mutant talked about Jean was simply detestable, and it made only more obvious that her choice to side with them had been the wrong one.
Looking at Jean as she nestled up at the side of the dark-haired teen beside her, her eyes displaying her inner struggle while she tried to keep her expression calm, Rogue ruthlessly suppressed the faint traces of jealousy in her mind, knowing that it didn't come from a healthy place at all.
Though there was also a sinking feeling that slowly grew in her stomach the longer the redhead took to reply, fear of rejection spreading in her heart.
"I- … Thank you for saying all that, Rogue.", Jean eventually replied, her eyes filled with a distant and cautious look, a shadow of hurt flashing by.
Rogue knew that her actions had basically denied the right to have any expectations when it came to Jean's forgiveness, but that didn't stop her eyes from becoming watery while a knot seemed to have formed in her throat.
Fighting hard to stop her tears from flowing, she bit her lower lip and was about to say her goodbyes when Jean parted her lips again.
Hesitatingly the redhead asked: "We are going out to eat something at an Italian restaurant a few blocks from here, do you want to come too?"
Understanding that this was not forgiveness but Jean's offer to start over, Rogue was still overwhelmed with relief and gratitude.
Her gloved hands brushing away the faint tears that had left the corners of her eyes, she nodded with a smile: "I'd love to."
Jean likewise allowed herself to smile, her lips curving up beautifully as she half-turned her head back as if to share her happiness with her lover, who had up until this point just watched on silently.
Turning back to her Jean added: "I think you've never officially been introduced to each other, have you? Rogue, this is Elijah Frost. Elijah, this is Rogue."
Brushing back her bangs, two strands of white hair to both sides of her face, Rogue finally shifted her gaze to the dark-haired young man completely.
Undoubtedly, Elijah was someone that drew eyes wherever he went, his clean and handsome appearance only rivaled by his perfectly toned physique that even his clothes couldn't hide.
Though his charm was even more lethal as his shadowed green eyes seemed to hold untold mysteries, the faintest of smiles on his lips having probably caused the hearts of an untold number of girls to skip a beat, his dark hair looking untamed as it caressed his cheeks.
Strangely though, despite his attractiveness, his presence was almost non-existent if one didn't explicitly focus on him, making it easy for one's gaze to just pass over him.
Rogue though did focus on him, and the moment she did, it was as if an invisible weight pressed down her chest, dark green eyes peering into her soul.
It was at this moment that she remembered that Jean's boyfriend was not an ordinary mutant at all.
In fact, she had been there when Elijah had pretty much wiped the floor with her teammates, Laura, Logan, and even Mr. Cassidy. She had seen his incredible prowess when he effortlessly crushed the Black Bird like a soda can.
"Hello, Rogue. Nice to meet you.", his smooth voice reached her ears, and in an instant, Elijah turned back into a normal teenager, the pressure vanishing as if it never existed, to begin with.
Gulping subconsciously, Rogue's heart couldn't help but palpitate as she faced such an unfathomable existence, rumors about him being the most powerful mutant in existence flickering through her mind.
"H-Hello.", she greeted back somewhat meekly.
A mild smile settling on his lips, Elijah looked down at Jean as he stated: "We shouldn't let the others wait too long. You know how grumpy Pietro gets when he runs out of snacks to stuff himself with."
Giggling lightly, Jean turned towards her as she grabbed Elijah's hand and pulled him along: "Come on, Rogue. Let's go."
Releasing a trembling breath of air, Rogue threw another glance at Elijah before walking to Jean's side and following along.
…
My thumb brushed over the back of Jean's delicate hand as we moved to catch up with the others, Rogue coming too.
I had sensed Jean's inner struggle when addressing Rogue and some part of me was saddened by the fact that she had held back in outright forgiving the other girl.
I knew that my redhead wasn't one to hold a grudge and she hated being resentful. But this also showed me that the last few months had made her more careful when opening up to others, the continuous revelations of betrayal having hurt her deeply.
I knew that this was probably a good thing as it would help her avoid being taken advantage of but I still resented the fact that this world had forced her to build walls around her kind and immeasurable heart.
Though having seen her invite Rogue, showed me that she was my still Jean, never refusing to give others a chance to redeem themselves.
Naturally, this didn't stop me from placing a shield around Rogue's mind, so that Charles wouldn't be able to use the mutant girl to manipulate Jean. It was a shield that only prevented psychic manipulation though, not mind reading in general.
As such, the Professor could only sense the existence of the shield if he tried something rather unsavory.
I didn't plan to tell Rogue about the shield, or about the fact that I could enable her to easily switch off her power at will with another shield. Just because my impression of her had improved, didn't mean that I trusted or even liked her.
Ultimately, the only reason she and the rest of Jean's former teammates were still alive after their attack on the Hellion Mansion was that killing them would have risked my relationship with Jean. Otherwise, I wouldn't have shown mercy.
At this point, I was also just being cordial around her and willing to give her a chance for Jean's sake.
After all, forgiveness was my love's forte, not mine.