"He was my muse, though I didn't know it, not then, not fully"
I first noticed him in the quiet of a classroom, where sunlight spilled over the edges of the desk, catching the way he lay his one arm folded under his head, the other splayed loosely across his desk. Something about the stillness made the ordinary feel weighty, as if the air itself remembered him before I did.
I didn't know why my thoughts lingered on him longer than they should, or why the words I scribbled in my notebook seemed sharper, brighter, whenever he was near.
Perhaps it was nothing or perhaps it was everything I had never noticed.
Perhaps my gaze had been on him so long that, in that moment, as his head laid on the desk facing down, he lifted it ever so slightly and turned toward me. Our eyes met, and for a breath, everything seemed to stop. My heart, in that quiet classroom, thundered so loudly, that I was sure he could hear it from across the class.
He didn't say anything. He just looked, and I felt as though the world narrowed to that small, suspended space between us. The sunlight caught the edges of his dark hair, and for a fleeting second, I could have sworn the ordinary light had turned golden, as if the room itself had bent to the weight of that gaze. I wanted to speak, to move, to do something that would make him notice me for real but my body felt locked, a careful silence, I didn't know I was holding.
And then he looked away and the moment cracked. The room returned, the tickling of the clock creeping back into my awareness, the shuffle of papers and distant chattering of my classmates. Yet something inside me frozen, caught in that quiet gravity. I couldn't tell if it had been in my head, or if it had been real, but it didn't matter at all. All I knew was that my thoughts were already tangled with him, in ways I couldn't yet name.
" Sera! Hey, are you even listening?"
the voice yanked me back, sharp but familiar. It was Elara calling my name as her big bright eyes were fixed on me, her smile teasing but impatient. She had that effortless energy that seemed to make every space brighter, a contrast to my quiet, tangled thoughts. I blinked, as if waking from a dream, the thrum of my heart still echoing in my chest.
I nodded quickly, pretending that I had been paying attention. "Yeah, sorry, I was just….thinking"
Elara and I have known each other since we were in diapers, so she basically knows everything about me, sometimes I feel like she's reading my thoughts without me having not even said anything.
Elara's gaze softened, though suspicion lingered. "Thinking perhaps about Lucian~" she teasingly said with a smirk on her face. I froze, caught between wanting to confess and wanting to disappear with how easily she can see through me. Before I could answer, a faint chuckle drifted across the room slightly, his chuckle. I turned slightly and saw him with Kira and Noah at the other side of the classroom, leaning casually on the wall. They were talking and laughing about something but I couldn't hear, the three of them were laughing together in that easy way that made everything around them fade into the background.
Lucian didn't notice me or maybe he did, but he didn't let it show. He was still serene, almost unaware of the small worlds spinning around
Elara leaned closer, resting her chin lightly on her hand, the corners of her mouth tugged up in that mischievous half-smile she always wore when she suspected more than I was admitting.
"You're hopeless", She murmured. "Completely hopeless"
I forced my attention back on to her, trying to shake the pull of his presence, but it was impossible. Even across the room, even with others around, he still held that quiet gravity, the kind that had me thinking of him, where a glance feels like a confession and silence like a secret.
Elara hummed softly, like she knew I wasn't going to answer. "One day, you're going to trip over him or say something ridiculous. I'll be here to witness it" Her words carried warmth and teasing in equal measure, a tether pulling me back from the swirl of my thoughts
I smiled faintly, though the pull in my chest didn't ease. "that would be so humiliating, imagine it does", I said as we chuckled
Then without thinking, I turned.
His eyes were already on me. For a moment, the world blurred around the edges, the chatter of students, the shuffle of papers, even Elara's teasing grin seemed to fade into nothing with his eyes on me. It was just me and him, suspended in that impossible quiet fraction of time.
He didn't smile. He didn't speak, he simply stared at me and I felt the weight of it in a way that made my chest tighten and my thoughts scatter. The sunlight caught the curve of his jaw and the soft line of his cheek. I couldn't tell if it was real or if my mind had conjured it for me alone.
Kira and Noah's laughter was a distant echo, nothing more than a shadow of sound. They leaned against the wall, talking quietly between themselves, unaware of the gravity that hung between us.
I wanted to look away, to remind myself that this was just a classroom, just another day. But I couldn't. His gaze held me, steady and quiet, like a tide pulling at the edges of my heart.
The bell rang somewhere or maybe it was only in my mind and the moment shattered. Lucian blinked, glanced away, and returned to whatever casual conversation he had been having with Kira and Noah, as if nothing had passed between us.
But for me, everything had shifted. Every heartbeat, every thought, every corner of the room now seemed to carry the faint echo of that gaze. I didn't know if it had been real, or if I had imagined it. And yet, it had left me utterly undone.
Elara nudged my shoulder lightly. "Okay, daydreamer," she whispered, "come back to earth."
I nodded, forcing a small, almost apologetic smile. "Yeah… back to earth," I murmured.
But I knew I wasn't. Not entirely. Not ever, if he was still there.
I forced myself to gather my books, trying to act normal as students shuffled past. Elara trailed beside me, her chatter filling the gaps I didn't want to notice.
"Do you think he even knows?" she asked, nudging me with her elbow.
"Know's what?" I murmured, keeping my eyes forward.
"That he's… well, that you stare at him like he's the center of the universe."
I flushed, and she laughed softly. "Relax. I'm just saying, he's probably oblivious."
Oblivious or not, I couldn't resist glancing back. Lucian had turned to leave the classroom, Kira and Noah following him. He paused just for a second by the door, brushing something off his sleeve, and that tiny motion, that simple, almost careless gesture, held me captive. My heart skipped again, fast enough that I felt it in my throat.
As we walked down the hallway, a stray ball bounced across the floor, startling me. I stumbled, and before I could regain my balance, Lucian was there.
"oh sorry, are you okay?" His voice was calm, neutral, and yet… it made my chest flutter.
I nodded, mumbling, "Yeah, thanks."
He gave a small nod in return and continued walking with Kira and Noah. The hallway noise returned, laughter and footsteps and lockers slamming, and I realized I was still staring after him.
Elara's hand shot out to poke my arm. "Seriously, Sera. Snap out of it."
I blinked and forced a laugh, but the pull of that fleeting interaction lingered. Even a single word had been enough to leave a mark, subtle but undeniable. Something about him was… different. Something about him already belonged to the space of my mind reserved for things I couldn't name, things I couldn't yet understand.
By the time we reached the library, I told myself to focus. Books, notes, something tangible. And yet, in the corner of my vision, I saw him again, seated, hunched slightly over a table, talking with Kira, the way her wavy black hair tumbling over her shoulder like a curtain. She had a sharp, playful glint in her dark eyes, always on the verge of laughter, as if the world was a private joke only she could share with him. Her smile was easy, effortless, and it made him laugh softly, a sound that settled somewhere deep inside me.
The way he laughed softly at something she said, completely unaware of me, made my stomach tighten.
Even though she was talking to him, I couldn't help but notice how naturally she fit into his space, how their movements and expressions seemed perfectly synchronized, like two pieces of a quiet rhythm. I forced myself to look away, but the pull remained, the way she leaned close, the way he responded so lightly, so unconsciously, and the way the sunlight caught the strands of her hair, making them glint against the soft shadows of the library
I pulled out a notebook and started writing, words flowing like a river I didn't know existed. Every line felt sharper, deeper, alive, as though the echo of him had seeped into me.
And somewhere between the ink and the quiet of the library, I realized: I was already caught. Not by him, not yet, but by the idea of him. By the subtle gravity he exerted, the quiet inspiration that I didn't even know I had begun to recognize.
tucked my notebook under my arm, trying to steady my racing thoughts, I got up to go grab a book from the shelf, when someone reached for a book on the same shelf.
Our hands brushed. Just briefly, a flicker of contact, and then he withdrew, but not before my skin tingled from the simplest touch.
"I'm sorry," he murmured, calm and unobtrusive, as if nothing had happened.
"It's… okay," I whispered, hardly able to speak, my voice betraying the sudden rush of warmth in my chest.
He gave the faintest nod, already turning his attention back to Kira and Noah, who were laughing quietly at something he had said. And just like that, he was gone, leaving me standing frozen, my thoughts spinning, my heart thundering as if it had just collided with something unseen.
Even in that fleeting, almost accidental moment, I felt it: the pull, the inspiration, the quiet gravity that he carried without knowing it. A muse. And I didn't yet realize it, but he already had me.
I sank into a chair nearby, letting the weight of the moment settle. The library was quiet again, punctuated only by the rustle of pages and the occasional whispered conversation.
I opened my notebook, but the words wouldn't come. My mind kept replaying that accidental touch, the brush of his hand, the brief glance we had shared, fragments that seemed small to anyone else, but for me, carried the weight of eternity.
Elara nudged my shoulder lightly. "You're going to dissolve into the floor if you stare like that any longer."
I smiled faintly, letting a small laugh escape. "Maybe I already have," I whispered, though it was more to myself than to her.
Even as I tried to focus on the words in front of me, my eyes kept drifting back toward him. Lucian was laughing quietly with Kira and Noah, leaning against the table in that effortless way that made the air around him feel different, softer, heavier, alive.
I realized then, fully and quietly, that he had already become something more than a boy I noticed in passing. Something I couldn't name, something I couldn't control. My thoughts, my words, my very breath seemed entangled with him, even in the smallest gestures.
And yet, I didn't know it then and I didn't know that he was my muse. Not fully. Not yet.