"Ugh… why is this world so noisy? I'm tired of this life," I muttered with a sigh, as if I had already grown bored of it. I walked home, my headphones on, listening to music.
When I arrived at the apartment, I opened the door. It creaked softly. Kreek! I tossed my bag onto a worn-out couch in the corner, then walked to the dusty window. I sat on the cold sill, took a pack of cigarettes from my pocket, and lit one. I exhaled the smoke, gazing up at the night sky filled with stars. A galaxy was visible, a sign of a very clear night with a radiant full moon. It was strange to see in the city.
In my heart, I spoke to myself. I am Yang Bao. My family passed away when I graduated from university. At the time, I chose to major in literature. Now that my parents are gone, I have no purpose. I tried to apply for jobs everywhere, but this world wasn't as kind as I thought. I was rejected from jobs because of my poor eyesight. I finally realized this world is run by money and connections, not merit. It wasn't my eyes that were the problem it was theirs. Most people get jobs more easily with bribes and connections.
I was born into a poor family; all my parents' savings had been spent to put me through university. I didn't even want it, but my parents convinced me I'd be nothing without a degree. So, I obeyed. But after I graduated, reality didn't match the facts. Huh…
I spoke to the scattered stars in the sky. "Stars, is there a life out there for me to live? It's too noisy here. I'm tired, and I want to change my fate. If it's possible, is there a planet I can live on?" I whispered, staring up at the sky.
Suddenly, the noisy night fell silent. I jolted awake from my bed, falling to the floor. In a panic, my hand shot out to brace myself, but my fingers accidentally hit the volume control on the headphone cord. Instantly, the music in my ears turned up to full blast, the sound deafening. A second later… silence. The cigarette I was holding fell onto the bed.
The headphones ripped from my head, breaking under my weight. I got up, rubbing my head, trying to understand what happened.
"What is this? Am I deaf now? But I can still see the buildings' glowing lights clearly through my glasses." I slapped my ears and said in my heart, Is this because I used my headphones too loudly? Am I disabled now? Cold sweat drenched my forehead.
I tried to walk out of my room to the bathroom. I opened the door and looked at my reflection. My face was normal, but my eyes were slightly white. Blood flowed from my ears; I had been hitting them so hard. I grabbed the sink and turned on the water, then took off my glasses. My reflection was blurry. I splashed cold water on my face, washing off the blood from my ears.
I panicked, utterly terrified. Could I still live? Will this disability take my life? My heart was empty, my mind was resigned, but my soul refused to give up.
After washing my covered eyes, I smelled a strange odor. It was cold. This wasn't my bathroom. I fumbled around, trying to find my glasses on the sink.
"Argh! Where are my glasses? Why did I fall on the ground?" I felt the cold, wet grass on my body. I groped around and realized I was in a grassy field. The strong smell of wet earth and dew filled my nostrils. I tried to open my eyes.
When I opened my eyes, my vision was dark there was no light at all. I couldn't hear anything. Tears flowed down my face. My mind is broken… I'm completely disabled. The smell of grass and dew was overwhelming.
I felt my body. I was still wearing my T-shirt and jeans, but my feet were bare. I was so confused. Where was I?
Confused, I crawled aimlessly. Thump! "Damn it..." I hit a tree trunk. The tree was huge. I felt the bark, so rough like a tree hundreds of years old.
"What's happening? What is this? Where am I, you bastard!" I screamed. I gripped the grass tightly, my fingers scraping against the ground until they hurt. I gritted my teeth.
"Is this bad luck happening to me again? Now I have no hearing! I'm deaf! I'm blind! Why is this happening to me? If I've been transported to another world, why am I still disabled, you bastard!" I shouted in frustration at the sky, even though I couldn't see it.
I pondered for a moment, then leaned against the tree. My eyes were open, but all I could see was darkness. "Hehehehehe. Fate? Is this my fate? I don't believe in it, but this is real, you bastard! You damned bastard, fate!" I screamed, laughing like a madman.
Soon, I smelled a person. I tried to call out, hoping for help. "Is anyone there? Please help me. Someone, I know you're around. Please help me."
The scent approached. Someone stood in front of me. The strange, bone-chilling aura made them feel very tall. My body suddenly shivered.
"I'm sorry for yelling. Please help me," I begged, prostrating myself before them. My voice was shaky from the cold and fear.
Crack! Suddenly, they stomped on me. My head hit the ground hard. I felt my nose break and my facial bones scrape against the hard ground.
"M-master, what are you doing? Why are you stepping on me? Did I do something wrong? Please forgive me," I said, trapped under their foot. "Master, if you're speaking, I'm sorry, I can't hear you. Please take your foot off; my face will be destroyed," I said, my voice trembling. Hot blood flowed from my nose.
They took their foot off. I tried to look up and said, "Master, if you'd be so kind, please save my life. I'll do anything." My teeth ached from hitting the ground.
They suddenly grabbed my hair and dragged me. "Aaaargh... Master, why do you hate me? What did I do to you? Please... this hurts so much, my hair feels like it's being ripped out. If you want to kill me, just do it!" I cried out in anger and frustration.
A moment later, they threw me hard into a room. I crawled, feeling my way around. It felt like a dilapidated house. Filled with deep fear, I pleaded again, "Master, what are you trying to do? If you want to kill me, just kill me!" I screamed, crying.
Ugh! My neck was choked. I struggled to breathe. I thrashed, scratching at their body. They wore a robe. When I tried to pull their beard, I fainted from lack of oxygen.
When I woke up, half-conscious, I smelled a strong scent of blood. I realized I was tied up, hands and feet bound with cold iron. I had given up.
They forced my eyes open. "What are you doing?!" I screamed, writhing. The iron bindings were too strong.
Their hand touched my eyelid, then forcibly gouged out my right eye. "Aaaaaa... It hurts! It hurts so much!" Hot blood spurted out. I gritted my teeth, enduring the pain.
Then they pressed down on my left eyelid, trying to gouge it out. I tried to bite their hand, but they punched me hard in the forehead, and I fainted again. Darkness. In my heart, I could only weep.
Why is suffering so... poetic? An eye must be exchanged for darkness, an ear for silence. I remember the verses I read, about shattered souls, but not a single one describes this kind of pain. This isn't fiction. This is the cruelest reality.
A moment later, I became conscious again. My body felt so weak and stiff, as if I had just woken up from a very long sleep. I felt my eyes were different as I tried to open them. A tight cloth was tied around my eyes, so I couldn't open them. I felt a tremendous pain in both eyes.
My mouth was also tied, so I couldn't scream. I struggled to breathe. I felt their hand fumbling with my earlobe. They pulled it and inserted something. It felt like an insect was entering my ear.
'This pain is unbearable, you damned bastard!' my heart screamed. "Arrggghhh!" I writhed, hitting my head against the ground. The insect became even more brutal, and the pain gnawed at my right ear.
They choked me again, then put the insect in my left ear. Krukkk! The sound of the insect crawling echoed. The pain was excruciating. My skull felt like it was cracking from hitting the hard ground. The inside of both my ears felt like they were melting; the blood wouldn't stop, and I was utterly exhausted.
I surrendered and fainted for the third time.
I woke up. My lips were cracked, my body was dry and stiff. I was so weak. It seemed I had been abandoned. My hands and feet were no longer tied. The cloth binding my eyes and mouth was gone. I slowly tried to open my eyes. The pain in my whole body was still there.
A blinding light from a hole in the roof pierced my eyes. I gasped as I opened my eyes wide. I could see again. My hearing was slowly returning.
"Did someone really save me? Where am I and where is that person?" I looked around. I was in a dilapidated room, filled with cobwebs and small insects. My body was thin and withered. The dried blood was peeling off, leaving a pungent stench.