"We are gathered here today to lay to rest our beloved Liam. Though we grieve, we take comfort in the promises of God. The Bible says in John 11:25…" the pastor was saying, but I was focused on the coffin. Liam's coffin.
It had been two weeks since he died, yet he still had a strange hold on me, I couldn't stop feeling sad. I still couldn't comprehend the fact that he was gone—and the nausea I'd been feeling lately only made the day feel heavier, I had so many thoughts and memories running through my head , but I had to stand there , like the perfect girlfriend and Tasha wasn't here , because her sick father had an emergency had the hospital, so I was all alone and I had to face this , all by myself.
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After the burial, Liam's sister, Sophia, came up to me and pulled me into a warm hug. She looked distressed; almost lifeless , and her eyes were almost as red as her lipstick from all the crying. I felt bad for her; they had been incredibly close—practically best friends.
"You know, it's like a part of me has been ripped away, " she said, pulling away and wiping her eyes. "I'm so sorry. I know how much you guys loved each other," I said softly, trying to comfort her. "You have a lighter?" she asked, pulling out a cigarette.
"No, I don't smoke," I replied. She looked at me and chuckled. "Silly me. Liam always said how perfect you were…" She tapped the man beside her and asked for a lighter. After getting one, she lit the cigarette and took a drag. "He really liked you," she added with a faint smile.
Liked.
That word stuck with me and struck my heart. Because it was true—he liked me. But he didn't love me. He thought I was perfect, the kind of girl who fit the image he wanted to be with. But it was never love. How couldn't I see it all along?
"You know… there's something really shady about all this," she said, blowing out smoke and glancing at me with concern.
"Shady?" I asked, trying not to gag on the smell of the cigarette. "He would never drink and drive. He was too logical for that. You know it too, right?" she asked looking to me for validation . "Well… he does a lot of things you wouldn't expect sometimes," I replied, trying to mask my irritation. She stepped closer and stared into my eyes with a look of fear . "You know they couldn't even identify the driver in the accident? And before he died… something strange happened."
"What happened?" I asked, curiosity tightening in my chest, wondering what could make her so anxious.
"I was at his house. His phone rang while he was in the bathroom, so I picked it up. It was a man… and his voice was weird. Cold, serious."
She tapped her foot anxiously and took another drag.
"He asked for Liam, wouldn't say who he was. I gave Liam the phone, and when he heard the voice… Belle, I've never seen him so scared. His hands were shaking. He looked like he'd seen a ghost." Even after the call, she explained, he had tried to play it cool. But something in him had shifted, she could tell how frightened he was, "He refused to tell me who it was, he just played it off" she added, her voice shaky and her eyes teary "You think that man had something to do with his accident?" I asked, holding her hand gently.
"I mean, who knows?" she said with a sad smile, taking another drag. This time I coughed. I couldn't take the smell anymore.
"You can't handle the smoke either?" she asked, chuckling. "It reminds me of a bad memory, that's why" I replied quietly. "Oh. I'm sorry." She stubbed the cigarette out in the grass. "I'm so sorry for everything you're going through," I said, hugging her. She hugged me back briefly, then pulled away with a small smile and walked off.
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I finally got back home, still feeling incredibly sick and unable to stop throwing up for some reason. I made myself some warm tea and lay on my bed, thinking about the strange incident Sandra had told me about.
My thoughts were interrupted by a call from Tasha. "How are you doing, my love? I feel horrible that I couldn't go with you and you had to face everything alone," she said worriedly. I sighed deeply before replying, "I'm fine, but I've been feeling sick for a few days now and I can't stop throwing up. I don't even know why."
Tasha was silent for a while before asking, "Girl, when last did you have your period?". I sat up, scared by her question. "I haven't been tracking it. A lot has been on my mind these days," I replied, placing my hands on my head in fear. "Use that pregnancy test right now," she exclaimed.
"But we took Plan B that day," I said, trying to convince myself everything would be okay. "Just use it!" she screamed. I got up quickly, took the pregnancy test strip from my closet, and peed on it.
"I'll stay on the call until the result is out. Play some music. We'll sing to Beyoncé till it's revealed. Just calm down," she said. I followed her advice, and we basically did karaoke to Beyoncé for ten minutes to calm my nerves.
"It's time," I said, breathing in and out before reaching for the test strip. My heart was beating fast as I closed my eyes and opened them slowly to see the result.
"What did it say?" Tasha asked.