"You're an omega," Kenzie said again, slower this time, like she was explaining nuclear fission to someone who thought atoms were a conspiracy. Which if Elias thought about it... anyway back to point.
"I'm—what now?" Elias laughed. A little too loudly. "No. That's... that's not a real thing. You're joking. You're hazing me right? Classic workplace prank. Ha ha. Got me. Next you'll tell me I'm pregnant with caffeine twins."
Kenzie crossed her arms, unimpressed. "Quinn, you reeked of omega distress just now. And unless you're suffering from some rare and dramatic scent allergy, you need to get your dynamics checked. Properly."
Elias blinked. "You're using words like they mean things."
A customer, halfway out the door with her chai latte, rolled her eyes and muttered, "God, omegas are exhausting."
"I'M OVERWHELMED!" Elias shouted after her. "Just—a little overwhelmed. A touch sweaty. It's warm in here. Is the air conditioner broken?"
Kenzie leaned across the counter. "You went all flushed and glassy-eyed the second that alpha walked in."
"That's not true."
"Uh-huh."
"And I didn't reek!"
"Quinn, the espresso machine turned itself off to avoid being involved." He gaped at her.
Kenzie sighed and pulled out a rag, wiping down the milk steamer. "Look, I know it can be jarring. Especially for late-bloomers. You've probably been suppressing your secondary gender. It happens. You might've had weird scent sensitivity, or mood swings, or—"
"Why are you talking like we're in one of Ashley's dumb werewolf smut books?" Elias hissed, leaning in. "This isn't real. This ABO thing? That's fanfic! That's internet kinkland!"
Kenzie blinked. "...Wait. You think you're not in an ABO-structured society?"
Elias opened his mouth. Closed it. Opened it again like a confused goldfish. "I wasn't."
She narrowed her eyes. "Okay. New theory: maybe you actually did hit your head. Hard. Like, hospital-grade hard."
Elias stared at the café floor, willing it to open and eat him. He remembered the book on his nightstand. Guns and Roses. His sister's fucking favorite feral, steamy, testosterone-dripping novel. The one with sentences like 'His primal snarl awakened her innermost submission.' That book. Was that where he was now? Was this that book? Was he inside a universe written by someone who watched Riverdale for the plot? No. No. No. No!
"I'm not an omega," he repeated quietly. "Because if I were, that would mean... male omegas can..." He trailed off.
Kenzie watched him with mild curiosity. "Yeah. You can get pregnant."
"Jesus Christ." "Relax, it's not like it happens just from bumping into an alpha."
"Oh, thank God."
"There's rut season. And your heat. You'll need suppressants if you haven't been taking them."
He stared at her, face pale. "There are pills for this?" He'd rather take injection shots.
Kenzie nodded. "Usually a patch or an implant. You should have one in your file, but if you've been skipping them... oof."
Elias wanted to lie down. Maybe permanently. Possibly under a refrigerator.
Cassian rose from his seat, heading for the counter. No. No. No. No. Not now. Elias was mid-meltdown, suddenly hyperaware of every molecule his body was emitting.
"I am calm," he whispered.
Kenzie side-eyed him. "You're vibrating."
Cassian approached the counter. "Coffee. Black."
Kenzie gestured at Elias without a hint of mercy. "Ask the omega."
He shot a betrayed look before turning to look at the man. The Cassian. From the cover of Guns and Roses. The morally ambiguous, impossibly sexy mafia alpha who always wore black and probably cried once in 1999 and never again.
Cassian leaned slightly forward, brow furrowed. "You still reek."
Kenzie gasped. "Okay, rude."
Elias opened his mouth to scream in indignation, but then it happened. Cassian's nostrils flared. His eyes narrowed, not in disgust, but confusion. He froze for a millisecond. Like some primal part of him had just had a pop-up notification he didn't ask for.
Cassian stepped back, stiff, muscles tight. "You should go home," he said. "Get your suppressants."
"I don't—" Elias began. But the man was already gone. The café door swung shut behind him, leaving Elias in his existential crisis.
Kenzie wiped the counter like nothing had happened. "Okay. That was weird. Even for you."
Later that night, Elias slammed his apartment door behind him and collapsed face-first onto his bed. He'd made it back somehow. Kenzie had walked with him, thankfully. He rolled onto his back, palms over his face.
"Omega," he groaned into the air. "I'm an omega."
The ceiling didn't respond. He sat up abruptly and grabbed his phone from the nightstand, fingers flying.
Google Search: "How to be beta but accidentally omega,"
"Omega men can get pregnant?? help!"
"ABO secondary gender fml."
"Can i lie and say i'm beta?"
"How to fake beta in ABO society."
"Do suppressants work on lies?"
"Do i need a heat survival kit or what the hell?"
Each search result brought increasingly horrifying information. The words 'nesting', 'bonding scent', 'mating marks', and 'heat suppressant packs (berry scented)' popped up like cheerful disaster flags.
"Nope. Nope. Nope," Elias muttered, throwing the phone across the bed like it bit him.
Maybe if he ignored it, it will go away. He flopped over and screamed into a pillow.
The truth had settled on him like a weighted blanket made of bees:
He was in a romance book. An ABO romance book. As a side character. And the main character alpha had noticed him. The very same main character who, in Guns and Roses, once shot someone for giving the heroine decaf. He was a chaos muppet in a tailored suit. If Elias was on his radar, even peripherally, he was doomed. He needed a plan. Fast.
Step one: deny everything. Forever. He was not an omega. He was Elias Quinn: beta. Beta-est of betas. Mr. Background Noise. The guy who didn't get involved in any drama unless it involved snacks.
Step two: avoid Cassian like the plague. Or taxes.
Step three: find suppressants. Immediately.
He looked around the room for a phonebook. Then remembered no one under the age of 80 used a phonebook. Back to Google. "nearest ABO clinic + suppressants + anonymity."
The search results were promising. There was a clinic a few blocks down, and their website proudly announced: No shame, no judgment. Come suppress your truth with us! That would have to wait until morning. For now, Elias curled under his blanket, breathing deep, trying to calm the panic hammering in his chest. In the silence, he muttered to himself.
"I am a beta. I pay taxes. I drink lukewarm tea. I organize my socks. I do not go into heat. I do not get pregnant. I do not get mated to alphas. This is not that kind of story."
The universe said nothing. Outside, a car backfired. Somewhere in the building, someone laughed too loudly. And in his chest, Elias's heart pounded traitorously, because no matter how many times he repeated it... He wasn't sure it was true anymore.