The terrain slowly passed by as I stumbled between trees, and over rocks and logs. The heavy footfalls on snow and fallen branches were almost silent compared to my ragged breathing.
I was tired and had no energy to sustain my pace, which was only intensified by my empty stomach. My limbs felt like unnatural weights I was burdened with carrying.
Between my attention focused on looking for movement amongst the trees, and my tired legs, small stones and roots protruding from the ground often caught my feet. Making tripping a common occurrence.
I was struggling, and I wanted to be liberated. Liberated from fatigue and breathlessness.
I could barely think as my mind contemplated the encumberment of running and the relief of stopping. The thought of dying didn't sound so bad if it meant I didn't have to continue running.
My body was under stress I couldn't carry. A weight I had no strength to lift. At the height of my exhaustion, I stumbled over a rock at an uncontrollable speed. The stumble turned into a fall, which became a roll.
When I stopped, I was facing straight up with my back on the cold, hard forest floor. My body encased in snow and dirt. My eyes were closed, not because I was unconscious, but because I was tired.
I stayed on the ground, unwilling to get up. Laying there, my will to stay was stronger than my will to run. I'd rather sit than run somewhere for no reason. The direction is pointless, and the destination is pointless if there's nowhere to go. I lost all meaning… Meaning is pointless.
Is this what it is… liberation?
I have no goals or strive. No needs, nor wants.
I lay on the ground, the pain of the fall was not even comparable to the aches of my muscles, the stabbing pain of exhaustion in my lungs, the beating of my heart as though it was trying to force its way through my chest, and the hunger.
I lay there, too tired to move. Barely focused on my breathing. If I'm to be free of meaning, then breathing is pointless. But my body refused to cooperate. The natural act was automatic, and I was too tired to hold my breath for longer than a few seconds.
I chuckled. I had already broken my promise. I realized I was not free. Not with responsibilities, not in the Districts, and now more than ever, not in the Domain.
I'm breathing. And if I'm breathing, I'm doing something. And if I'm doing something then I can't be free. The destination is not pointless. We spend our whole lives searching for the perfect destination without even considering the direction. There are many winding paths before we reach the final destination because the direction is pointless so long as we reach our goal.
I can't be free if I'm breathing. If I lack freedom, then my destination is to be free. Liberated. To be free is to be happy. Happiness in liberation.
When I stop breathing, it will be on my terms, when I'm happy.
And right now, I'll be damned if I die here with a smile on my face.
So, I continued to breathe, and as my body slowly recuperated, it became easier and easier. The pain in my muscles lessened, my lungs stopped burning, and my heartbeat slowed. Though the hunger remained, now larger than ever. The emptiness in my stomach felt like a hole, and the pain was intolerable. I did my best to ignore it, and instead focus on recovering my strength.
I stood up feeling a little rejuvenated, both my will and my body. Looking around for a direction to head in, I realized something I missed before. The storm was gone, and the fog along with it. My view of the forest was clear, now limited only by the densely settled trees. I looked down a narrow path and spotted a slim stone structure in the distance. Something I would never have been able to see before. With nowhere else to go, I made my way in its direction.
Before I started running, however, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed movement in the bushes higher up on the hill.
With the storm and wind gone, it was easier to see. Barely having enough time to tilt my head in its direction, a shadow leaped out of the bushes right at me. I felt the hair on the back of my neck rise in anticipation. I ducked and rolled off to the side as the shadow swept right past me, continuing to fall down the steeply declining hill.
It cried out its chilling call before disappearing into the snow and trees below.
Knowing it was closer than I thought, I attempted to sprint towards the stone structure. As I got closer, I could make out what it was. A stone bridge about 5 meters wide, just big enough for 2 small-sized carriages side-by-side and, as far as I could see, about 15 meters in length.
What was odd about the bridge, however, was that there was no snow on it. As if an invisible barrier refused to let snow pass. Weirder still, was that I couldn't see past it. A thick fog that no light could get through obscured the other end. It extended to the horizon, farther than I could see.
Close enough to make out details, I found it was over a frozen river with large, sharp, almost shining protrusions. The bridge itself was of average build, with grey stone brick parapets and supports, and dark-red tiles lining the road.
Knowing the Beast was close behind, I had no choice but to run into the fog. As I crossed over the line of the bridge, the even and smooth flooring gave my feet some reprieve from the snow and rough forest ground. To my right, a quarter way up the length of the bridge was a large section that was broken off. Big enough for someone to fall through.
Without slowing down, I dashed into the fog. I immediately felt a sense of vertigo and disorientation before I exited the fog and came out the other side.
With a sick feeling in my stomach, I fell to the ground, a grey cylinder tumbling on the stone floor of the bridge. Realizing it to be the heating artifact, I struggled to pick it up, my vision blurry. Giving myself a few seconds to recuperate, I let my vision settle before reaching for the artifact again and returning to my feet. Unsure of what happened, I continued to make my way off the bridge.
Like a mirrored image, another part of the bridge, this time to my left, was broken off. It was the same size as the other end.
Ignoring the small detail, I continued running to the bridgehead. As my feet planted back onto the snow-covered forest floor, I looked down in surprise. There, in the snow, were footprints that were my size. Coming from the forest, and leading back to the fog on the bridge. Taking a moment to look around, I took note of the hole at the end, then shifted my gaze to the river below and its protrusions. It was all too familiar.
The fog must have turned me around, causing me to run back in the direction I came. Assuming it was disorientation, I went back onto the bridge, towards the fog.
I prepared myself for the dizziness I would feel and went into the haze. Placing one foot in front of the other without changing direction, I did what I could to continue forward while fighting off the nausea. Just when I thought I was going to vomit, the wall of fog broke as I stepped over to the other side of the fog.
I bent to one knee, expecting to be sick, but managed to hold it in after only gagging a few times.
Regaining my composure, I looked up, a mixture of surprise and shock on my face. But most of all, worry.
Off to the left was the hole in the bridge, and the same protrusions in the river. But the biggest shock of all was the figure standing in front of me. At the end of the bridge, 15 meters away, was a Beast I could only classify as the Kieriki.
Even while hunched over on all fours, it was about a foot taller than me. Its front two limbs were much longer than the two rear ones, giving it a half-standing structure. The disproportion resembled a grotesque recreation of a man. It had white skin along the joints, and thick black fur around its neck like a scarf, with small armored scales of ice along the rest of its body, framing its lean physique.
I couldn't see its head and face, but it had a set of horns protruding up from the top of its head and angling sharply back. The left horn was longer than the right, which was snapped off at half-length. A skull covered its face, acting as a mask, ending in a sharp pointy beak resembling a bird. With dark thin slits, spotlighting its deep shining red eyes.
I couldn't move, frozen under its gaze. Still as a log, feigning myself into hoping that if I didn't move, it would simply leave. But I knew that wouldn't be the case. The look in its crimson-red eyes seemed to pierce into my soul. My breathing intensified, and my palms were sweaty despite the cold. My eyes darted around trying to think of a way out of this. I was like a cornered rat with nowhere to go. I was as good as dead.
"Why did you run?" It asked. Its voice was as shrill as its death call, with a reverberating growl underneath.
My mind went blank. The shock of hearing a Beast talk suppressing an answer. Its terrifying voice made me hunch slightly in fright.
"You Knew I'd find you."
I'm injured, cold, and hungry. Nothing else seemed to matter in comparison. But… staring into its eyes gave me a feeling of dread that dwarfed all other concerns.
It started calmly walking towards me. No threat in its action, but the look in its eyes still gave me chills.
Pinned by the fog, I still attempted to crawl back. I am cornered. I have no fangs to bear, or claws to scratch, but… absolutely nothing will stop me from watching as it dies. I will watch it burn.
Reaching into my coat, I pulled the grey cylinder out, flicked off the cap, put the charcoal tip to the ground, and dragged it against the stone. In one swift motion, the cylinder shone with deep red light, stretching all across the bridge. Its heat surrounded me in a comfortable embrace.
The Kieriki froze for a moment before a blue glimmer enveloped its body. It gave the appearance of reflective blue ice, but had the consistency of liquid. The Kieriki's body shifted and folded, becoming something entirely different. When the glow dispersed, it had a new form.
It looked like me, perfect with all attributes. The face, the clothes, and when it talked, even the voice.
"I was sent to show you that this," it gestured to itself, "Is not what you're supposed to be. I can make you better if only you listen."
Sent by what or whom?
That didn't make any sense.
Why was it sent to me?
When it finished talking, it was less than 3 meters away from me.
Looking up in horror at its dreadful mask, I prepared for anything to come.
Completely unexpectedly, it didn't attack. Only reaching out a hand to my chest. The action sent chills despite the warmth from the artifact. Startled, I swiftly stepped up to the left and followed through with a weak punch to its face.
In defense, it deflected my blow, easily shattering my right arm. I fell to the ground in pain, tears in my eyes. My arm, nearly in half, was left dangling supported only by skin and a few muscles.
It let out a small whimper. "I'm not used to my strength."
Anger boiled through me. Before it could reach for me again, I gritted my teeth and lunged at it, stabbing the heating artifact in its left eye, and sent us both over the edge of the bridge.
The fall lasted only a moment, but the landing hurt more than I expected. A piercing pressure shot through my stomach. My vision washed blurry from the pain.
Laying overtop the Kieriki, it took me a moment to realize that we were not on solid ground, or the frozen river. Our arms and legs were dangling, my neck was in pain from the shock of impact, and every movement made my stomach churn.
I didn't realize what happened until I spat out blood.
My vision cleared, and I looked down. Letting my neck relax in defeat.
A sharp stone protruded out of the Kieriki's chest, into the left side of my stomach.
The pain was there but was nullified by the trauma. I looked up to see the chilling look in the Kieriki's eyes flaring in flames from the heating artifact.
I'm dying. And without a smile on my face at that.
The cold intensified throughout my body, and my limbs were losing what little strength they had. All that remained was hunger.
I slowly reached for the artifact in its eyes, grabbing it with my left hand. Weak from my injuries, I had to use all my strength to pull it out. The artifact slowly exited its eye in a wet squelch, earning me a grunt from the Kieriki.
Pulling my arm as far above my head as I could, I brought it down into the laceration in its chest, between the torn pieces of scales. It immediately began searing and scorching from the heat. The bright red light blinded my eyes.
With nothing left to do, I let the pain take me. Left there to hang to death in silence. My breathing slowed, and while I wasn't happy, the thought of the Kieriki dying left a smirk on my face.
Ruining the morbid silence, the Kieriki spoke.
"There are possessions that are lost." It gestured to its right horn. "To go in search of them will lead you to the Monarchs. They are the bonds that bind your Will to them. Your body is weak. Do not hold yourself back by relying on it."
Shhh, you're ruining the moment.
I felt a sense of perpetual freezing permeate my body.
It's Will!
The warmth was euphoric, feeling better than any cool winds on a hot day. It was a chill that healed and brought comfort.
As I slowly passed out from shock, the Kieriki spoke one last time, "This Will is connected… with the Matriarch. It… will… guide you."
My vision slowly turned dark, and a chilling ice enveloped my body.
I thought I would die, that I was liberated, but I have no freedom. A new bond of responsibility wrapped its strings around me. A new sense of duty that I didn't ask for. Because responsibility is a crutch, an excuse to do something I otherwise wouldn't do.
Left there hanging connected to the Kieriki, the heating artifact continued to burn bright. Reflecting off the ice around my body, enhancing the light like a signal fire calling for attention.
Look at me, at the place I hang.
…
Leo Grimwald
A whole week of searching for this kid and I've gotten nowhere. Asher told me to look around the area of his usual inn, but there's no sign of him, and I don't sense any unusual Aura's. His Will is weak and he has no control over it. It was easy to recognize and follow. But it just… ended. Cut off before even making it to the inn.
How long is Asher going to ask me to come out here every morning, until he just gives up and accepts that Rin's gone? I'm getting tired of his antics, and father is too. It's no wonder he wants him back at the estate for…
A strong, oppressive force cuts me off mid-thought. Making my legs weak and almost buckle. Anyone with a weaker Will would have simply collapsed to the floor. The Aura is close and dangerous. Whoever it belongs to must be facing a large sum of turmoil and anger.
Unfortunately, my duty as a Grimwald knight compels me to investigate and observe any disturbances nearby.
Who could be causing this? This is really not the time.
There was no noise or commotion as I made my way over to where I sensed the Aura. This whole situation was odd. The Aura was only discharged once, and while strong, it quickly faded. Like the person it belonged to did it by accident, or… had no control over it.
The direction of the Aura brought me to a back alley, a good shortcut off the main roads to get to the inn. As I turned the corner at the end of the alley, I was met with a large oval-shaped block of ice.
It was snowing and cold enough for ice to form, but there's not much that could have made this shape. It was ridged, with sharp cuts leaving rough angles in the oval. Like a chrysalis.
Did a Frost Butterfly try to use a roof as a staging ground for metamorphosis?
It's not uncommon for Frost Butterflies to get this big, but the process requires ample atmospheric essence, and the roof of some Middle District shack would not work as a buffet.
Arriving close enough to inspect the ice properly, it was obvious that this was no simple chrysalis. The texture of the ice was too rough for it to be from a Frost Butterfly, and the size didn't make any sense. If it was a male, it would have been a foot shorter in length, and a female would have been about two times as big as this one.
I swept the snow off the top of the chrysalis. When I removed it from the side, I was met with the face of a very pale, very skinny boy.
Looking at him encased inside the chrysalis, realization hit me, and my eyes widened in surprise. The chrysalis was a manifestation of the process all Will Holders go through. One that many would agree is excruciatingly painful, and the epitome of torture.
"Integration." I whispered to myself.
All manifestations of Integration are different. Though some characteristics can be the same, like a chrysalis, for example, the physical changes taking place in the body are substantially different. It all depends on the strength of the Beasts Will, the Holder's Will, the Attribute, and the body.
A chrysalis, however, is an extraordinary manifestation. It has become a common notion of a strong Will. The changes to the Holder are so large, that simpler manifestations don't work.
Activating my Sound Will, I contacted Asher by producing sound waves from a communicator I told him to hold on to. While he can't respond to me, I could at least inform him of my findings throughout these outings.
Based on Asher's description of Rin, I let him know that I most likely found him, along with the state he's in.
Knowing Asher was going to watch over Rin during his Integration process, I planted a tracker on him using my Will. A simple sound wave receiver that periodically sends out a high-pitched tone that only my advanced hearing can pick up.
Overcome with curiosity, I walked around the chrysalid's perimeter to analyze its structure. When I reached the other side, I stopped in my tracks. On the opposite end of the ice, previously out of view, was the dead body of a Frost Kieriki with a massive hole through its chest.
A grin curled its way up my lips. "Father's going to get a kick out of this."
…..
Asher
Leo managed to bring Rin back while in his chrysalid without too much delay. We put him in the back and left the door open to easily monitor him for the duration of his Integration. Luckily, I won't have to worry about customers coming in during the process.
Can't believe it's almost the Long Night already.
Only when we got Rin settled in the back, did Leo finish explaining how he found Rin in this state.
I poured us both a cup of coffee to fight off the early morning drowsiness, and sat at the counter. There wasn't much for Leo to add as there was little information on how Rin Bonded with the Beast. The biggest shock was that it was a Lord Frost Kieriki.
"What!" I shouted, practically spitting out my drink. "Yur tellin' me that the scrawny brat managed to kill one'a those things? And a Lord one at that!"
"Like I said, I'm a little shy on details. Though, its body was small compared to the documented size in the family archives. A child perhaps?"
"And the body? What'd you do with it?" I asked with concern.
"Protocol." Leo responded simply.
'Protocol,' that's all the boy knows. By protocol, he means he already sent it in a carriage to the Grimwald Estate.
"And your father, what'd you tell em?"
"Nothing yet."
"Good. Don't tell him anything. Nothing good'll come out of it." I said sternly.
Leo looked at me, with disgust and resentment on his face. "I can't do that."
"The boy has a life. Your father will only ruin that. He takes. an' he'll use that boy's Will as his own."
"We're done here. I did what you asked." Leo got up from his chair and headed for the door.
"You tell him, and this boy's life is over."
Leo stopped, sparing me a glance over his shoulder. "I'll wait until he's gone through Integration. That's the only relief I'll give you."
Without hesitating after his words, Leo opened the door and left.
I sighed deeply, taking a deep breath.
"Oh, Shi-"