Yvonne and Azaka looked at Maxime, who was sitting on the bench. He was calm, a faint smile resting at the corners of his lips, his eyes fixed somewhere far away — yet Yvonne could still feel his gaze upon her, an inexplicable gaze… in a word, he was assessing her.
Yvonne did not know whether she should wait for the leader or not, so she turned toward her friend, Azaka. She understood immediately through their exchange: normally, their looks carried a quiet sense of complicity, but at that moment, both of them were filled with a certain uncertainty about what they should do.
Still, Azaka nodded at the idea of telling him now. Yvonne could see that she was hesitating as well, but it remained the best option for the team. In her eyes, Yvonne could almost read the words: "It's our team — we have to trust them," a sentence she knew all too well. Besides, they would eventually have to tell Pierre and Justine when they returned… so they might as well discuss it with the whole group now.
They walked over to Maxime and explained everything to him in meticulous detail: their idea of forming alliances with certain groups, along with several other ideas that had emerged along the way. It took them several minutes to explain everything without leaving out a single detail, with Charlie, Victor, and Victoria stepping in from time to time to clarify certain points.
Maxime looked at them with a complicated expression. He scratched the back of his head while thinking deeply. After perhaps five or ten seconds, he finally spoke:
"The idea is brilliant — even ingenious — but… I don't know. There's one part of it I can't really agree with. Generally speaking, there are very few downsides to teaming up with others… but here…"
They stared at him, somewhat confused by his response.
Ousmane raised his voice so everyone could hear him. The incomprehension on his face was unmistakable. He, who had remained so calm despite everything happening around them, now looked genuinely unsettled.
"In what way is this idea so bad? Everything about it makes sense. Having allies would increase our chances of not ending up… dead. And besides, you call it 'brilliant' and 'ingenious,' yet you still disagree with it. So where exactly is the problem? Tell us why it's such a terrible idea if it's enough to make you look this concerned."
"The problem is actually quite simple, Ousmane. How are we supposed to trust them? Just because we become allies doesn't mean we always will be — it only means that, for now, we help each other. But at what cost? We know nothing about the others. Maybe some of those groups have already decided that killing us would be the easiest way to eliminate future problems. And beyond that, we don't truly know their intentions… nor who they really are. They could very well manipulate us to achieve their own goals. That's why I can't fully agree with this idea right now."
Ousmane opened his mouth, but no sound came out.
He was right about that one thing — how could anyone trust others when their very lives were at stake?
It reminded me of when Pierre had said that everything had turned into a jungle. At the time, I had not truly paid attention to his words when he first spoke them… but were they really meaningless?
Yvonne looked at the others with a quiet sense of compassion. Perhaps asking people to trust one another was already too much. But then, how can one survive while distrusting everything?
Trust, happiness, and love are born from the bonds we forge with others. Yet if we begin to drift apart from one another, then hatred, violence, and resentment will inevitably awaken within each of us.
So what were they supposed to do?
Yvonne's mind was clouded by a lack of answers when someone suddenly spoke up. It was Victoria. She seemed to have come up with an idea, but… her face had turned cold, and a twisted yet hesitant smile now lingered across her lips.
"We could do it first… If all of this becomes too dangerous for our group — and especially for our safety — then we can strike first and… kill."
"But how can you even think something like that?! I refuse to become a monster or a murderer — and neither should any of you. How can you say such a thing to us? No, no, and no!!"
Yvonne's face flushed red with anger. She pointed accusingly at Victoria while protesting furiously.
"I know the idea sounds insane, but we don't have a choice anymore. We can't trust the others. Look at them — they're already plotting against us and against the other groups. At least take the time to think about this solution."
Her eyes looked as though they were about to burst from their sockets, and sweat poured heavily down her face. As she spoke, she gestured frantically with her hands, trying desperately to make herself understood, because her own idea was so disturbing and controversial that she was beginning to lose control of herself.
She was about to continue when Azaka cut her off.
"This isn't just a far-fetched idea anymore — you're talking complete nonsense. How exactly would killing someone help us in the situation we're in? And what about you? Are you really sure you'd be capable of killing someone in cold blood?"
Victoria said nothing, but the answer was already obvious: no one here was capable of killing someone in cold blood.
But under certain circumstances… could they become capable of it?
What did the others truly think about such an idea?
"Tell me," Yvonne said, turning anxiously toward the group, her eyes filled with unease. "Do you actually approve of this idea?! Ousmane, do you really believe this is a solution? And you, Victor — would you accept one of us killing someone just like that, in cold blood? And you, Charlie… do you really want to see another dead body?"
"Of course not. I don't agree with that idea," Ousmane replied, though a trace of deep concern still lingered in his voice.
Victor rose slowly from the bench. He took only a few steps before turning around. He stood near the tree where Léonie was, yet he did not even glance at her.
She had never given them her name, simply out of fear, though now she regretted it slightly. But at this point, her shyness prevented her from speaking up, especially considering the direction the conversation had taken.
Victor placed a hand against the tree, then turned back toward the group, walking toward them one slow step at a time.
"What truly is good? And where does goodness even come from? To physics, killing and saving are the same thing — all of it is nothing more than atoms. To tell myself, 'I would kill to save my own life, if necessary, as well as the lives of others'… but would I truly be capable of it? With my own hands, could I really pick up an axe, raise it, and kill someone? I am neither a hero nor a saint. Would it not be better to embrace evil at least once? Just once — only a single time. If everyone else has already done it, then why not me? But if I kill for the survival of all of us, would it still be considered just in the eyes of the world? Would I still remain the same man I once knew myself to be… or merely become someone entirely different?"
He paused and looked directly into my eyes.
"To tell you the truth, Yvonne… I don't know. To kill or be killed — it is one of the most troublesome dilemmas imaginable if it ever comes to pass. But if you truly want my honest answer, I would rather avoid it altogether. Still, if you want to know what I genuinely think… I'm not entirely against it either… even though I sincerely doubt its effectiveness… I just don't know."
"What? What do you mean by that?" both girls exclaimed at the same time. Neither Yvonne nor Azaka understood Victor's reasoning.
Ousmane and Victoria stared at him with astonished eyes, while a deep incomprehension lingered across their faces.
Maxime watched everyone arguing in confusion. He observed them debating endlessly, yet he said nothing. A faint smile slowly formed at the corners of his lips. Under certain angles, his green-blue-brown eyes seemed like a bottomless abyss.
He tilted his head in the direction Pierre had gone. Judging by their current discussion, Pierre and the nun should have nearly finished their conversation by now… he would probably return soon.
His jaw moved silently, though he was clearly speaking. It lasted only a few seconds, yet it felt unbearably heavy with meaning. Then he closed his mouth again.
The poem had just come to an end.
For a few more seconds, he stared toward the place where that strange light had fallen. Then he sat back down, quietly watching them argue over matters that suddenly seemed so simple.
Yvonne turned insistently toward Charlie, who was slumped lazily across the bench.
"And what about you, Charlie? Answer me!!"
He looked at her with visible irritation. He clearly did not want to answer, but Azaka was glaring at him harshly, and so he finally spoke, his voice carrying a deliberately careless tone.
"I honestly couldn't care less whether the sky collapses onto my head or the earth swallows me beneath my feet. It interests me very little — perhaps not at all. Why should the idea of killing someone truly matter to me, when none of this holds any more meaning than anything else, and when the things that are said to matter in this world cannot be found within such an absurd question, one stripped of both genuine meaning and moral substance? I was told that, eventually, dragging around my sorrow and anxieties would somehow make me happy… yet I am still not happy. On the contrary, I feel hollow, with this stone crushing against my heart."
Azaka stared at him for a few seconds before rolling her eyes toward the sky, utterly fed up with him.
Yvonne did not truly understand Charlie anymore. Once so timid, he had now become the most difficult person to deal with. There was also Justine's friend, Léonie — she could not understand her either. Why did she never speak?
Charlie snapped back with visible irritation after noticing the contemptuous looks and confused expressions directed at him.
"Is killing someone really that terrible? Whether it's a stranger or a companion, is their death truly that important in our eyes? People say it's grave, but 'grave' is only a word that no longer belongs here — or at least not in the question you're asking. A stranger disappears, a companion stops walking, and the sky remains the exact same shade of blue as it is in winter. We search for meaning in spilled blood and lifeless bodies, when all there really is, is the dry sound of a trigger and the indifference of the afternoon echoing in our ears — all for the sake of our own survival. Sometimes, playing a role and doing the dirty work may be more effective, but that alone is not enough: you also have to avoid becoming someone else while losing yourself completely… or simply forgetting who you truly are. So no, I'm against this idea, and honestly, I wonder why you're even asking me such an absurd question."
Yvonne looked at him with a smile of relief. Azaka remained silent, but she too felt reassured by what he had said, even if his reasoning was still strange. At least she understood its essence.
"From what I can see, we're more or less all against this idea, and I'm relieved about that," Yvonne said nervously. "But we still need to find a solution — or support from someone — because I'm not sure we'll be able to face all of this alone."
There must always be someone who disagrees with your ideas for things to truly function. Otherwise, everything eventually becomes a tyranny ruled solely by those in power. But… ah, did he truly need to step in for something like this?
"I still disagree with your idea, Yvonne. Having allies genuinely makes me uncomfortable. We should rely on ourselves instead — I trust us. Why doubt ourselves?"
"Maxime, can you stop thinking only about yourself for once?" Azaka snapped irritably.
She walked up to the bench and grabbed him by the collar of his sweater.
"If you can't see that we're trying to find a solution to our problems while you sit there doing nothing, then stay planted there and keep doing nothing. You're pretty good at that."
She released his collar and shoved him back onto the bench.
Maxime was thrown backward — not hard, but enough for him to collapse awkwardly across the bench. He struggled for a moment to sit properly again, to the point that Ousmane and Charlie stepped in to help reposition him, doing so with an oddly casual sense of style.
"You and the others only think about the practical side of things, while I'm thinking about the future. If we decide to form an 'alliance' with another group, that doesn't bother me — on the contrary, it would reassure me. But if one day we are forced to face that very same group, despite having once been allies and having 'trusted' them from the beginning, then that 'trust' will vanish like smoke… and from that moment on, we will have to attack them. A lion that devours a gazelle is not evil; it merely acts according to its own nature. And sooner or later, we will have to do the same with those around us if we want to survive. In the end, killing a man or saving a child from a fire can become the same thing — a matter of personal preference or moral perspective, like preferring cigarettes over white wine. All of this can become subjective. Justice is nothing more than a word invented by the weak to prevent the strong from crushing them. It is a fairy tale for adults. But we are living in reality, and eventually we will have to accept it as it is."
He looked at them with an unusual seriousness, enough to unsettle even Azaka. The same boy who usually hid behind laughter while speaking to them was now completely serious.
And yet… he was not entirely wrong.
You could not trust everyone without risking betrayal from every side. So what were they supposed to do?
…
Silence lingered for several seconds. Everyone looked at one another; some were deep in thought, yet no one had a solution.
Ousmane finally broke the silence with a sudden declaration.
"Then all we have to do is form groups with people we already know, so we can be sure of their trust and loyalty."
"No, that won't work. They're far from stupid. They probably already have files or plans concerning all of us… They could easily notice that we've allied ourselves with our own friends, and then force us to confront the very team where all those friends are gathered together. That would basically be like shooting ourselves in the foot."
"You're right, Victoria. I hadn't thought about that possibility…"
Ousmane sat back down, visibly frustrated that his plan would not work. Victoria glanced at him with a trace of guilt for having exposed the flaw in his reasoning.
Yvonne stared at them with eyes wide in disbelief — no, beyond disbelief, she was utterly stunned. No one could find a solution to what had seemed like such a simple problem at first. But of course… they had all been conditioned to distrust one another. Damn it… how are we supposed to move forward if everyone doubts everyone else?
Yvonne's vision began to blur — double, even triple. What do we do? What do we do?!… The question kept repeating endlessly inside her mind.
Then a hand gently touched her shoulder.
At that simple contact, the doubt scattered away, like a butterfly changing direction as night draws dangerously near.
It was Azaka.
She smiled softly at her and spoke with visible irritation, though everyone could tell she was secretly pleased to be the one taking charge again.
"Ahff… Honestly, do I really have to do everything around here just to give hope back to people who doubt too much? If we keep thinking this way, then we might as well already consider ourselves one hundred percent dead. Technically, we're still one hundred percent alive… but what are the actual odds of existing at all without death constantly watching us? One chance in 10^2,685,000. That's not just a 'one' followed by thousands of zeros — it's a number greater than the total amount of molecules in the universe itself. Which means that our chances of living are greater than our chances of dying. So yes, we can do this — and we will. Understood? We'll survive no matter what. We are stronger than death itself, so let's keep pushing it back until it finally retreats."
Little by little, everyone began recovering a fragile sense of hope amidst this infernal nightmare, but…
Maxime slowly stood up and stretched out his arms to their full length. Then, while staring at them, he gave an exaggerated bow.
No one truly understood what he was doing, but a faint laugh escaped him in the middle of the gesture.
When he finally raised his head again, a cold smile rested upon his lips, and his eyes looked utterly devoid of meaning.
"You've forgotten far too many things about our laughable existence — an existence stripped of any inherent meaning. The absurdity of being alive has always been this: enjoying the present moment while surrendering ourselves to pleasure in order to fabricate meaning for our own existence. But within all those explanations from second-rate scientists, you overlooked something truly essential in your analysis. Don't worry though — I'll enlighten you with my own lantern and with genuine experience.
To put it simply, there is one crucial aspect of our being: beneath all this flesh and these veins lies something extraordinary — a brain. It allows us to store everything: information, memories… everything. But hidden within it is also a flaw, because God, in His infinite kindness, condemned us to suffer eternally.
Our brain perceives every piece of information we see and processes it all in under four hundred milliseconds — an absurdly small amount of time for something so complex. Then, in turn, the brain sends signals throughout your body so your limbs can move, which itself takes between two hundred and fifty and five hundred and fifty milliseconds. And for your consciousness to fully realize those actions, technically, it takes exactly the same amount of time.
So if we want to draw a rather amusing conclusion from all this, then the present has never truly existed. There is only the future and the past.
When we were discussing our current problem — 'Should we form an alliance?' — the fact that the present does not exist, combined with the way our brains store everything, creates an endless loop. We do not live in the present; we endlessly replay the past that has just occurred while anticipating the future that will arrive immediately afterward.
We are all already dead, and at the exact same time, still alive.
In the end, it is merely a matter of time… or luck… before death finally arrives."
Maxime applauded his own conclusion before continuing his speech.
"It seems I've left you all speechless, but don't worry — reality often takes time to settle into the lost minds that you are, my young sheep. More often than not, death is merely an inevitability of our existence…"
He smiled faintly, then stared off into the distance for a moment before abruptly changing the subject.
"So then, Yvonne, you still haven't found a solution to this problem? Because I just found one."
"You really found one? Then why didn't you say it from the start? And why are you suddenly helping us after giving such a pessimistic speech about our chances of surviving just moments ago?" Yvonne asked, her eyes trying to see through him.
"Do you want to hear it or not? I'm helping because I found a solution. Where exactly is the problem with that? We're a team, so I take part both in building it and in carrying it through difficult times. Simple as that."
They all looked at him with lingering suspicion. He almost seemed to be playing a double game, yet curiosity stepped forward first. Some were intrigued, others surprised, but most of them were asking themselves the same question:
What exactly was his so-called solution?
"Come on, tell us your solution already, Maxime," Victor said, growing tired of the suspense.
"You seriously found one?" Charlie asked, genuinely surprised that Maxime might actually have an answer.
"You're not about to tell us to kill everyone now, are you?" Victoria remarked, a trace of fear slipping into her voice.
"God has finally guided you… good. I only hope He will guide us as well," Ousmane said solemnly.
Maxime looked at all of them with an expression that seemed almost happy, yet exhausted by his own endless reflections. At last, he gave them his answer.
"I'll tell you — no need to be so impatient. Instead of choosing entire groups, we choose trustworthy individuals for our alliance, just like Ousmane suggested a few minutes ago, though with some important differences. The people we recruit must either be close friends or people in whom we place absolute trust. That way, if things become too dangerous for both sides, we can abandon them if necessary… and later return to them without anyone suspecting a thing. And if, by some misfortune, we are betrayed, then the act of abandonment itself will immediately reveal who the traitor is."
The entire group looked at him with eyes shining with excitement and relief.
"But why would we abandon the team? And how would that even work if we never end up fighting each other?" Azaka asked, a spark glowing in her eyes.
I immediately understood what she meant.
What if, in the end, there were no games… no battle royale at all? The plan itself could still work, but the whole idea of abandonment as a way to identify traitors would collapse instantly.
"Your plan has a flaw in its design, Maxime," Yvonne said. "Azaka just pointed it out. The problem is that we know absolutely nothing about what's waiting for us here. There may never be any real games at all — maybe they're just meaningless activities meant to entertain us… So if we rely on betrayal to expose traitors, then we're doomed from the start."
At Yvonne's observation, everyone immediately saw the massive hole in Maxime's strategy. Even Maxime himself realized the weakness in his reasoning.
"It's not that serious," Victor replied. "At least we already have the main idea: forming alliances only with friends or people we trust completely."
He crossed his arms before continuing.
"As for the betrayal problem… I think I found a solution just by looking at all of us."
"Really? Just by looking at us?" Victoria asked, visibly shocked.
"Yes… although I'm not sure you're going to like it."
"You're seriously scaring me when you say it like that," Azaka muttered while subtly moving closer to Yvonne, as if distancing herself from Victor.
"Alright, here goes. As for me — just like Charlie — we don't really have any friends or trustworthy people besides each other. But since we're already together, that basically leaves no one else. And while watching all of us search for allies, I quickly realized that Ousmane doesn't really have many people either, Victoria was abandoned by her former friends, and Maxime, just like Pierre, doesn't seem to have anyone close either. Which means the only ones left capable of forming alliances are you two — Yvonne and Azaka."
Yvonne and Azaka stared at them wide-eyed.
Almost all of them turned their faces away. Even Maxime looked elsewhere in front of that painfully honest truth. As for Charlie and Victoria… they had turned completely red from embarrassment.
"Yeah… okay… well, it's not that bad…"
"Ahahaha— no, I can't take this anymore, hehehe!"
Azaka burst into uncontrollable laughter, nearly unable to breathe. Her face was bright red from laughing so hard.
"Look at them, Yvonne! They're so ashamed they can't even look at us without blushing, and you don't even know what to say to comfort them. This is killing me, hehehe!"
"Oh, stop making fun of them like that! Besides, I already have a few friends who could work for this plan, same for you. So the problem's solved. And honestly, don't feel embarrassed over something so small. It's really not that terrible not to have friends."
"Ahahaha! You just buried them even deeper by saying something like that! That's exactly the kind of thing people with tons of friends always say. Ahaha!!!"
"No, stop it, Azaka!!!!"
Yvonne's face had turned completely red from embarrassment as Azaka continued teasing her relentlessly.
Little by little, the others also began letting go of their supposed shame over not having friends, until eventually they too started laughing about the whole situation.
----------------------------
Justine and I had taken a bit more time than expected to write down everyone's names, and on top of that, there was that damned nun who kept talking and asking questions about the boy's death. Really, ever since that incident, all the nuns kept asking the same questions to everyone.
"Have you seen him? Who was he with? Etc."
Honestly, why were they making such a big deal out of him? He was useless. Why make so much noise over something so uninteresting? That little demon had been right — he was going to die, and that's exactly what happened once he left.
I have indirectly killed someone along with him, yet my heart remains as calm as the sea. There is no wind, no storm, no waves rising toward the sky. The sea is calm, just like my mind and my heart.
I wasn't sure before, but now my mind tells me with certainty: if someone saw us with him — during that argument, with and without Maxime — then I need to find a way to silence them.
The problem is: what if they've already told someone? What do you do in that case? They would have the advantage of putting me in an almost impossible situation, one I couldn't escape from.
For now, I will assume that no one knows anything — at least, not yet. Once things calm down a little, in a day or two, I should go hunting for information, for or against me. I need to know everything if I want to avoid dying or getting trapped foolishly. I've read too much fiction where the villain dies because they didn't look around enough.
Pierre raised his hand, holding the paper tightly. Besides that… they had given us a sheet of paper. Really… Group number 12, with all the names of the people in the group — as if we didn't already know our own group members. I'm getting angry for no reason. The group is formed, and that's what matters. But why did they assign numbers in the first place? All these questions are starting to form a thick fog in my mind.
While walking, Justine looked at Pierre, who was still holding his piece of paper. Their group wasn't far now, but she still had questions stuck in her throat.
"Pierre, I have a few questions to ask you about all of this."
"Really? And what would this important question be that's been bothering you so much?"
Why is she asking me questions now? Is this still about the other one? I hope not. I already tried to calm her earlier, telling her everything I could to convince her it wasn't me. But did she really believe me?
No… she must have believed me. Justice, morality, injustice, free will… all of that is nothing but something fleeting in this world. Pleasure, absurdity, and the search for meaning are the essence of our current age. Violence and murder have become commonplace. The strong always trample and strip the weak. In this situation, I was simply the "strong," nothing more.
"The sky has not changed, nor has the world. So where does the idea come from that 'good' and 'evil' have no value here?
Ogre, ogre. The giant hand of the Buddha has cut down the Buddha himself. To cut an ogre is to cut the Buddha. The refusal of the saint is the abandonment of the one who holds on.
The saint and the ogre are one and the same — bound together by blood, yet driven by distinct intentions. To kill a saint means nothing; the ogre is immortal, just as the saint is. Murder, massacre, and the passion for saving lives are nothing more than expressions of their own desires.
If they place their steps before their passions, they will see the Buddha split into two paths: if one walks in the light, he becomes the Buddha; if he walks in its shadow, he becomes the ogre who killed the Buddha."
This was never a lie, nor a stolen truth. To rise higher, one must transcend the norms of all others… my vision is my own lantern on this steep and treacherous slope. Everything else is nothing but deception meant to make me slip. He likes to speak and say things, but it no longer matters to me. My only vision is that of my own existence… If necessary, I will kill; if necessary, I will break them all just to descend into the depths.
With a dark gaze, Pierre looked at Justine walking beside him. She did not look at him. Her eyes were fixed on the ground. He could clearly see that she was carefully preparing her question.
"I was wondering… why all these questions… why are they asking us so much about that boy's death? And for you, what are all these pieces of paper they give to each group leader? What do they want from us?"
So that was it. That's actually reassuring — all these questions, rather than anything related to Didier…
"I don't really know much, honestly, but as for the papers, I think they're mainly for identification during games or events… at least, that's what I believe."
"You said 'games or events'!!!"
She looked unsettled. She stopped for a moment… glancing left and right, observing the other groups. But the more she looked, the more she seemed to understand something.
"What's wrong, Justine? What are you afraid of exactly? The games? If that's all, we can just form alliances… though I think we should hurry before everyone starts doubting everything."
"But that's exactly the problem!! We need to form groups quickly, otherwise we'll be isolated from everyone else and risk losing future events… even if there aren't any, we absolutely cannot be isolated!"
When she finished speaking, she suddenly started running. Pierre said nothing and followed her while walking toward their group. The idea of forming alliances had already crossed his mind… but something told him that someone else had already taken care of that problem.
End of this episode.
Thank you for reading.