Chapter 318: The Chocobo Theft
Although Leonard promised Ron he would think it over, in reality, he didn't take it to heart at all.
Or perhaps, with beauty before him, Leonard chose to seize what he could have right now—perhaps the so-called "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"?
Leonard even replaced his long-time glasses with contact lenses to suit his new girlfriend's taste, making him practically blind. Even Ron's project was significantly affected by Leonard's poor eyesight.
Fortunately, he only wore them for a day before taking them off, otherwise, even with their close relationship, Ron would have kicked him out of his mech team.
"God! Even though I've always doubted your existence, why did you abandon me? My mother and you were so close!"
Ron returned home and, just as he reached the door, heard Sheldon let out a miserable howl from inside.
Ron frowned. Sheldon was an atheist and would never normally mention God. If he did, it meant something terrible had happened that had completely disoriented him.
Ron pushed open the door, and inside, a police officer handed Sheldon a paper bag, instructing him to breathe into it.
"What happened?" Ron asked, frowning.
"I was stripped naked, Ron! I wasn't left with anything!" Sheldon cried out indignantly as Ron entered.
"Are you his roommate?" the officer asked Ron.
"No, I'm his brother, I live across the hall. What happened to him?"
"Your brother reported to the police that he was robbed."
Ron looked around the apartment and found that everything was arranged the same as before. He couldn't see anything missing and asked curiously, "But to me, it seems like nothing is missing. What did they steal?"
"What did they steal? You should ask them what they didn't steal!!" Sheldon looked up, his voice trembling with outrage. "They stole my enchanted weapon, my Gladiator's Battlegear, my Staff of Dominance, and all my gold!"
"You actually called the police because someone hacked your World of Warcraft account?!" Ron rolled his eyes. He was shocked, but then, remembering that this was Sheldon's usual behavior, he felt somewhat used to it.
"What else could I do? Sheldon Cooper, the level 85 blood elf, a hero of the Eastern Kingdoms, stripped naked like a corpse baking in the desert sun!" Sheldon gasped angrily and continued to complain, "The FBI even hung up on me!"
It would be a miracle if that bald FBI agent wanted to deal with this kind of mess. The trouble Valentine caused last time still hasn't been resolved; how much free time does he have?
"Keep breathing into the bag."
Sheldon put the bag over his mouth, but it still didn't stop him from talking. "They also stole my epic mount!"
"No way? They even stole Shadowmere?"
"Yes, Shadowmere, my prized steed!" Sheldon then exhaled several more large breaths into the bag, as if his lungs would explode if he didn't exhale.
"Take care, everyone." The officer, seeing someone return and finally free from having to stay with the lunatic, prepared to leave, but Sheldon called him back at the door.
"Wait a minute, are you just going to leave it like this?"
"Sheldon!" Ron called out helplessly, "I believe the officer is just as regretful about your loss, but the Pasadena police department's jurisdiction hasn't extended to the continent of Azeroth."
"Then at least introduce me to a rogue cop, right?"
"What?" The officer was confused.
"You know, the kind of cop who was fired for refusing to follow the rules and is now dedicated to upholding justice in his own vigilante way," Sheldon explained.
Ron saw the police out speechlessly, then turned back and said, "I think you've watched too many action movies. There's no such person in real life."
"What kind of world is this? One person can just steal another's epic mount! This barbaric act must be met with blood for blood, tooth for tooth! The time to retaliate has come! Ron, let's unleash the Warlord!"
Sheldon delivered his incredibly melodramatic speech, while Ron pondered the specific meaning of "Warlord." The nickname sounded quite impressive; he might want to befriend him sometime. He just didn't know when Sheldon had gotten involved with people in the criminal underworld.
However, an hour later, a hurried knock on the door shattered his illusions.
"Hi, Ron."
"You're the Warlord?" Ron looked speechlessly at Howard outside the door. If even Howard could be called the Warlord, then the title was far too cheap.
"Of course, Warlord Howard, at your service."
Ron let them in. Together with Leonard and Rajesh, who had already returned, the four scientists were assembled, each with a laptop, and began searching for hacking tools.
Unfortunately, despite their individual achievements in their respective fields, these four geniuses were only mediocre at hacking.
They were nowhere near as good as Paige, and even compared to hackers like Anonymous members, their skill level was far inferior.
"How much longer do you guys need? Isn't tonight supposed to be our World of Warcraft night? I was planning to run a raid with you guys," Ron said, sitting on the sofa watching the four busy figures.
Since they started playing Warcraft together, every Thursday's game night had changed from Halo to World of Warcraft, but it seemed tonight's gaming was off.
Ron sighed. He shouldn't have come back today. He should have stayed at Han's diner until Caroline and Max got off work, then gone home to do what he wanted, or ridden motorcycles with Giselle to the countryside, enjoying some beautiful, scenic mountain views...
In short, anything would have been better than sitting here watching four novice hackers try to recover Sheldon's lost gear.
"You can wait a bit, or you can log in first. We've made some progress. The hacker is probably a troll named GloomyGus, but he covered his tracks so well I couldn't find a single trace of him," Howard replied without looking up from his computer.
Ron, helpless, could only log into the game to see if any other guild members were planning a raid run, and maybe he could join them.
However, immediately after clicking the login screen, a second scream, following Sheldon's, rang out in the apartment: "Where did it go?! Where did all my gear go?"
Ron stared dumbfounded at his completely looted account. The warrior named Weasley stood naked on his character screen, wearing only the tattered rags provided by the system to cover himself; everything else was gone.
"Ron, was your account hacked too?" Sheldon poked his head over and said gleefully.
Ron turned around and glared fiercely at Sheldon, because he suddenly remembered that his game account had only been logged into on his own computer and Sheldon's computer, and the most recent login was yesterday.
In other words, the person who hacked Ron's account and the person who hacked Sheldon's account were the same person!
"Damn bastard!" Ron cursed under his breath, his murderous gaze sweeping over the four scientists. "No matter what method you use, you have to find this bastard. FXXK! Stealing from the IRS, he's got a death wish!
When we find him, I'll not only make him return everything he stole, but I'll also audit all his income and hit him with back taxes! The maximum penalties!"
The four nerds perked up at his words. They had been wondering what to do if they found the hacker's address.
The four of them, defenseless as they were, wouldn't stand a chance against him. But now that Ron's name was on the victim list, everything changed.
"Hey! Hey! The troll's online, I'm going after him. What are you planning to do? Ron, should we teach him a lesson in the game?"
Howard asked Ron as he followed the troll with his game character. With Ron on the team, he naturally took the lead.
"Of course we should teach him a lesson, but not in the game," Ron sneered. "Quick, find a way to get his address, I'll take you there to deal with him."
"But what if he has a gun?" Rajesh worried. "I know that in many parts of America, it's legal to shoot people who break into homes. What if he thinks we're intruders..."
"Then let's see who can draw faster!" Ron reached back and drew his gun. Before Rajesh could even see Ron's movement, Ron tapped him on the head with the grip of the gun. "Now are you going to help me track him down? Brothers?"
"How about we play it smarter and try the good cop, bad cop routine?" Leonard tentatively suggested.
"No need for that. We can be more cunning," Ron shook his head, stood up, and patted Rajesh on the shoulder. "A basement-dwelling neckbeard like him who only hides behind his computer has almost zero resistance to the opposite sex. You go, use your character to seduce him."
Rajesh's game character was female, a female blood elf, one of the most attractive character models in the game.
Rajesh looked up blankly, bewildered. "But how do I seduce him?"
"Wait a minute," Ron said, leaving the room. He returned a moment later with a pair of Penny's lingerie, his gaze sweeping over the four of them before finally settling on Rajesh's slightly chubby build. "Rajesh, take your shirt off."
Rajesh obediently took off his shirt, and Ron helped him put on Penny's lingerie, calling Howard to help create some cleavage.
"Click!" A provocative, suggestive photo was created.
Ron handed the phone to Rajesh: "Send him this photo, then ask him: 'Want my worn panties? If so, tell me your address, and I'll mail them to you right away.'"
Less than five seconds after sending the message, they immediately received the hacker's real address.
The four of them gave Ron a thumbs-up. Ron smiled dismissively. What was this? Back in college, he'd used catfish accounts to scam gold from thirsty gamers, funding his entire main character without spending a dime. Was he proud of that?
But that was ancient history.
"Carlsbad, 2711 Seaview Road, this is his house on Google Maps. It's only a few hours' drive from Pasadena. How about we go together tomorrow?" Howard showed the map to Ron.
"Tomorrow? I can't wait until tomorrow. The Cooper family never lets revenge sit overnight," Ron asked while dialing the phone. "Would you mind taking a helicopter ride with me?"
"A helicopter?" The four of them were dumbfounded.
...
Todd Zarnecki felt that today was definitely the luckiest day of the year.
Not only did he use his hacking skills to steal two high-level World of Warcraft accounts, but judging from the equipment on those accounts, the money from selling them would cover at least half a month's expenses.
Moreover, he also met a bold and sexy girl in the game.
Okay, calling her sexy now is a bit premature; he hasn't even met her yet, only seen a partial photo she sent. But he swears on his entire porn collection that she's the hottest brunette he's ever seen.
He wonders what a hot brunette smells like, but he'll find out soon enough, because his brunette goddess is on her way.
Todd changed into what he considered his best outfit, admiring himself in the mirror, practically bathing in Axe body spray, determined to make a good impression. If all went well, he hoped to get more than just some worn underwear tonight.
"Knock knock knock~" A knock on the door interrupted his endless daydreaming, and at the same time, he received a new message on his phone.
"Baby, I'm here. If you open the door now, I'll let you take off what I promised you yourself (heart) (heart) (kiss)"
Todd was overjoyed and rushed to the door: "Babe, I'm here~"
But when he opened the door, there was no sexy, hot woman outside, only a strong, intimidating man in a suit standing in the doorway, staring at him with menacing intent.
Ron gritted his teeth and asked, "Todd Zarnecki?"
"Who are you? What did you do to my Caramel Cutie?" Todd asked, mustering his courage.
"Caramel Cutie?" Ron's eye twitched. Who knew what Rajesh was thinking, choosing such a cringeworthy username? He pulled Rajesh from behind him: "Here, your Caramel Cutie. Now that your business is settled, it's time to settle our score. Do you remember the game account Ron Weasley?"
Todd sensed something was wrong and hurriedly tried to close the door, but Ron had already blocked it with his foot. A fist grew bigger and bigger in his eyes: "I'll teach you to steal my account!"
(End of Chapter)
Posted 16 November at 19:02