Chapter 306: Leonard Gets Volunteered
In the end, Ron still couldn't get through to Sapphire about what kind of help he needed, and it was Howard who stepped in to solve the problem.
Ron was grateful he had Howard with him. Otherwise, he would have had to resort to the simplest and most brutal method: paying extra and walking away without explaining. Fortunately, the matter was finally resolved, and Ron was able to return to his peaceful daily life. He even had time to hang with the four of them at the Caltech lab, testing the new version of the exosuit and then grabbing lunch together.
To be fair, the food in Caltech's cafeteria was pretty decent, but today's lunch was destined to be anything but peaceful.
"Twelve o'clock, President Siebert." Leonard, with his sharp eyes, noticed that the university president, who should have been dining in the faculty club, was in the student cafeteria.
"Why would a university president come to inspect the cafeteria?" Ron asked, somewhat puzzled.
"Maybe he's imitating Henry V from Shakespeare, going incognito to discover how his subjects perceive him," Sheldon said smugly. "Of course, if he'd read any of the 1,300 emails I sent him about university administration, he wouldn't need to go to all this trouble."
"I believe that if he'd read any of them, he wouldn't be here empty-handed in a suit. He'd at least be carrying an assault rifle." Ron knew how insufferable Sheldon's commentary was. Frankly, if murder weren't illegal, he would've been taken out countless times already.
"Or maybe it's because he heard that the cafeteria is serving tater tots today, Tuesday," Rajesh's comment drew irritated glares from the others. He could only lower his head and mutter to himself, "Anyway, that's why I'm here."
"Hey, my most brilliant minds," the president looked around the cafeteria and immediately spotted Sheldon and his crew sitting in the corner. He walked straight over, clearly there for them. Ron's presence surprised him a little, but he quickly recovered.
"And my dearest benefactor, Mr. Cooper, your presence honors our humble establishment. You shouldn't be eating here. If you'd given me notice, I would have arranged a table in the faculty dining room so we could have a proper conversation."
In an instant, President Siebert's expression shifted from the strained smile he'd worn when he saw Sheldon to a genuine display of warmth for Ron. This ability to switch gears was so impressive that he could have a promising career in Hollywood if he weren't a university president.
This was perfectly normal—any president would be enthusiastic when facing a donor with millions in contributions.
"No need for that. I prefer to eat with my brother. That way, we can discuss project details while we eat, helping them better understand my requirements."
"Okay, then we'll have dinner together another time." After dealing with Ron, President Siebert returned to his diplomatic smile, placing his hands on the shoulders of Sheldon and Leonard, who were sitting side by side. "How's your day going, my brilliant young scientists?"
"That depends on how long you plan to keep your hands on my shoulders," Sheldon retorted, irritated.
"I'm sorry, Dr. Cooper. I forgot you have germaphobia." President Siebert's forehead developed a stress vein, but he quickly suppressed it for Ron's sake.
"I don't have germaphobia—I'm simply concerned about pathogen transmission. If you'd be willing to wear a pair of sterilized latex gloves, I'd even let you perform a prostate exam."
"Alright," Siebert smiled at Ron with forced pleasantness, but the smile was strained. To be honest, Ron was starting to feel sorry for the poor president. "There's a small gala at the university this Saturday evening to thank the generous donors who've been supporting the school recently. You're most welcome to attend, Mr. Cooper."
"No problem, I'm available." Ron had nothing else scheduled, so he readily agreed.
"Of course, you're welcome too, my brilliant young minds. There will be fine wine, excellent food, and perhaps even some attractive young ladies. Would you like to attend?"
"Absolutely! That sounds fantastic!" Howard, Rajesh, and Leonard immediately agreed.
"Wait!" Sheldon quickly stopped them. "Just because some stranger offered you candy, you're going to jump into that kidnapper's van right now? Didn't you hear him? This is a dinner to thank donors. He wants us to schmooze with those mediocre people who know nothing about science."
Siebert glanced at Ron's face with some concern, and seeing that he was completely unfazed, finally relaxed.
While genius scientists like Sheldon are invaluable, alienating a potential major donor for this reason would be a net loss.
Ron shrugged. "Yep, that's right. I'm loaded, so what? If you don't want to schmooze with me, why don't you ask President Siebert where your research funding comes from?"
"That's correct. The harsh reality is that sometimes we must cultivate relationships with certain individuals to secure research funding." President Siebert and Ron fist-bumped, helping Ron score the first point against Sheldon.
"I don't care, that's too degrading!" Sheldon said indignantly. "I don't want to be like the prize hog at the Texas State Fair, being paraded around for show."
"No, Sheldon, you've got it wrong," Ron, having gained the upper hand in his verbal sparring with Sheldon, happily wiped his mouth with a napkin and continued his offensive. "The prize hog at the State Fair is usually the best breeding stock. Being paraded around isn't for show—it's for breeding purposes. And you're still a virgin. From that perspective, you're not even qualified to be compared to it."
"Hahaha..." Leonard and the other two burst out laughing.
"Ron, you... you just wait! I'll text you as soon as I've formulated my rebuttal!"
"I think you're still not busy enough," Ron looked up and asked President Siebert with a smile. "Mr. President, may I, in my capacity as a donor, request that a scientist as 'distinguished' as my brother from your esteemed institution attend the gala to present his research to us?"
"Of course," President Siebert readily agreed to Ron's request. Shrewd as he was, he knew which side his bread was buttered on. Turning to Sheldon, he said in a menacing tone,
"Listen up, you all need to dress formally for this gala. You'll be presenting your research to a bunch of wealthy benefactors.
Otherwise, I swear to God, I'll revoke your parking privileges, reassign your lab space to the janitor's closet, and make sure the only equipment you get is a calculator from the Dollar Store."
Rajesh, always eager to contribute, added: "Oh, you definitely don't want that."
(End of Chapter)