Chapter 304: Ron's Everyday Life
Old George, far away in Texas, seemed to sense something and sneezed, rubbing his arms. "It seems a bit chilly lately. I should grab an extra layer at night."
"You won't feel cold unless you're drinking in the hallway outside." Mary tossed Old George a jacket, which he obediently put on.
"George, how are Ron and Sheldon doing lately? Unlike little George and Missy, they're not here in Texas where we can keep an eye on them."
"Mary, you just talked to Sheldon yesterday." Old George rolled his eyes, copying Ron's signature gesture. "If you miss them, you can always fly out to Los Angeles to visit. Tickets aren't even that expensive right now."
"Oh, sure, after I leave, will it be convenient for you to flirt with the waitresses at the diner?" Mary glanced at Old George, who was so spooked he didn't dare breathe, crying out his innocence.
"I already told you, there's absolutely nothing between me and that waitress!"
"Really?" Mary said with a knowing smile. "George, I'm increasingly convinced that Ron's player ways are something he learned from you. Look at him—he's got five different women he's seeing right now. Weren't you the same when you were young?"
"Five!" Old George exclaimed in shock. "How is that even possible? I only had one girlfriend before I started dating you, and Ron's juggling five! There's not enough hours in the day! This has to be gossip!"
Old George's tone was so bitter—whether from envy or jealousy—that Mary could practically taste it from across the table. However, she didn't dwell on his reaction. She'd file this away and deal with it later, maybe even dock his beer money.
Because right now, Mary had found a new source of entertainment: using Ron to needle Old George.
"Missy told me."
"Oh, Missy said it? Then it must be gospel truth. What else did she say? Spill it!" Old George sighed, whether with wistful longing or regret for not being as successful as Ron in his youth, but quickly recovered and asked nosily.
"First of all, there's the waitress at the restaurant..."
In Los Angeles, Ron, who was becoming the center of the couple's conversation, wasn't as carefree as they imagined. He was still dealing with the Sheldon situation.
Penny and her new boyfriend Zack went out partying tonight, and Ron figured they wouldn't be back till morning. Zack might seem a bit dim-witted, but he had good stamina and probably wouldn't let her come home too early.
This arrangement not only was cheating on Leonard but also troubled Ron, because it meant no one would keep Sheldon in check. He would continue being a pain in the ass.
Ron had to think of a solution.
"Sheldon, you know you have to make up with Leonard, otherwise you'll be wearing your 'bus pants' to work on Monday. Tell me, is that what you want?"
"Bus pants"—Sheldon had specially prepared a pair of pants to cope with the unsanitary conditions on public transit, wearing them over his regular pants. It sounded ridiculous, and looked even more ridiculous, but that's what he did.
Sheldon stared with innocent eyes and asked, "Ron, can you drive me to work on Monday?"
"And will you stay quiet the whole way?"
"Oh, you know that's impossible. I'm always happy to share my knowledge with ordinary people of average intelligence." Sheldon waved his hand dismissively.
"Then my answer is also impossible," Ron shook his head. "Alright, it's getting late. I need to crash, Sheldon. You can head back to your apartment."
"No, they kicked me out, and they have to pay for that," Sheldon placed his theremin back on his lap. "Without me, they're rudderless now. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to sit here all night and let them stew."
Ron was at his wit's end. If he left Sheldon in the apartment, who knew what condition he'd be in by tomorrow morning? Okay, that was a bit dramatic, but given Sheldon's consistently annoying nature, Ron couldn't help but want to throttle him.
Ron could only soften his approach. "Sheldon, they're definitely waiting for you to come back and take the lead. You have to give them a way to save face."
"How?"
"An apology, of course."
"No, no, no," Sheldon said three times in a row. "My dear mother, the saintly Mary Cooper, never taught me to lie."
"Lie? Who said you had to lie?" Since Sheldon wouldn't budge, Ron had to try a different angle. "Haven't you always wanted to learn how to be sarcastic?"
"That's right."
Waaah~ Waaah~ Sheldon lowered his hands, which had been gesturing over the theremin, showing interest. Ron just wanted to thank God that the weird thing had finally stopped making noise.
Ron continued persuasively, "So, all you have to do is go over to Leonard, apologize with a sarcastic tone, and then..."
"Then he'll think I'm genuinely apologizing and trying to make amends, but actually, only we know it's blatant mockery!" Sheldon excitedly finished the second half of the sentence.
He then gave Ron a smug raise of his eyebrows.
"Yes, exactly!" Ron was thrilled and quickly pressed his advantage. "Alright, let's go. We're doing this now."
"By the way, thank you for letting me crash here all night, Ron. Thank you."
"You're welcome." Ron never expected Sheldon to be so gracious, and his heart warmed. But as they walked, Sheldon casually added, "Well, I was born a few years earlier than you, so I'm your older brother."
However, Sheldon's next words immediately sent him crashing back to reality, showing him that a leopard can't change its spots: "My God, my sarcasm skills are getting better and better."
Ron swore that it was a miracle Sheldon hadn't been murdered yet.
If he wasn't worried about upsetting Mary and Meemaw, he would have chopped Sheldon into tiny pieces and fed him to the neighborhood dogs.
In the apartment next door, out of respect for Ron, Leonard and the others finally let Sheldon back in, agreeing to give him another chance. However, just as Leonard was about to explain their progress to Sheldon, Sheldon interrupted.
"Before we begin, please allow me to express my deepest apologies for my previous behavior. Also, I have tremendous respect and admiration for your leadership abilities." Sheldon winked at Ron, as if asking if this was what being in control felt like.
Ron could only nod with a forced smile. As long as Sheldon didn't come back to his apartment and torture him, he was fine with whatever happened. Sacrificing a few nerdy guys was just the price of peace.
However, this also reminded Ron that it was definitely time for him to buy his own house.
(End of Chapter)
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