Chapter 85: Sick Sheldon
"Penny?" Sheldon suddenly raised his voice, pulling the collar of his robe up to cover most of his face: "Penny again!"
"What's the problem now?"
"Don't tell me you just came from your apartment! You've been contaminated. Now you're a walking petri dish, you realize?" Sheldon carefully took out a bottle of disinfectant and sprayed a protective barrier into the air.
Only this way could he feel safe from airborne pathogens, while Leonard and Ron watched in amazement as he continued his ridiculous performance.
Honestly, even though Ron had witnessed this scene countless times, he still found it absolutely absurd whenever it happened again.
"Don't you think you're being a little dramatic? I'm not playing along with this paranoia. I'm going back to bed." Leonard turned to leave, but Sheldon grabbed his arm.
"Wait," Sheldon handed him a measuring cup. "Put this in the bathroom."
Leonard looked at the cup, confused. "What for?"
"I'm monitoring my fluid intake and output to make sure my kidneys aren't shutting down."
Leonard's expression immediately darkened. Even the most patient person would lose it. "Sheldon! This is my baking measuring cup!"
"Actually, this laboratory vessel has always been designated for urine collection."
"Hahahaha!" Ron, sitting in the perfect spot to watch the show, laughed so hard he nearly fell off the couch, earning death stares from both roommates.
"You have time to label everything else in this apartment, but you can't spare ten seconds to write 'URINE CUP'?!"
Sheldon took the cup from the furious Leonard and flipped it over to reveal the bottom. "Right there."
"Well, I guess I owe Betty Crocker an apology letter," Leonard's rage finally subsided.
Betty Crocker was the iconic American baking brand whose recipes Leonard had been following. When his baked goods didn't turn out as expected, he'd even called their customer service line to complain.
But before leaving, Leonard didn't let Ron off the hook. Watching Ron laugh while stuffing his face with the pastries on the coffee table, Leonard said,
"Yeah, those cookies. I made them using this cup." Leonard waved the measuring cup at Ron.
"Ugh!"
Ron felt his stomach lurch and stuck his finger down his throat, pushing Leonard aside as he rushed to the bathroom.
Sheldon: "Weren't those the treats Penny brought over today?"
"Obviously I know that." Leonard, finally having successfully pranked Ron, was extremely satisfied.
...
The night passed without further incident.
The next morning, Leonard woke up in terror to the sound of Sheldon calling for him.
"Leonard! I'm genuinely ill!" "Leonard! Leonard!"
Leonard rolled out of bed, threw on some clothes, grabbed his shoes, and rushed out the door. Before leaving, he knocked on Ron's door with an apologetic expression.
"Leonard," Ron rubbed his sleepy eyes, opened the door, and checked his watch: "I don't remember you being the inconsiderate type who wakes up the neighbors at six-thirty AM."
"Ron!" Leonard shook Ron's shoulders frantically: "Sheldon is sick!"
"!!!!" Ron snapped awake instantly, not even bothering to brush his teeth. He quickly changed clothes and headed out with Leonard.
Shortly after they went downstairs, Sheldon, wrapped in a small throw blanket, knocked on Ron's apartment door. Ron, already heading downstairs, breathed a sigh of relief and patted Leonard on the shoulder.
"Thank God you're here, or I'd definitely be stuck dealing with that hypochondriac."
Leonard took a deep breath and was about to respond when his phone rang. It was Sheldon. "Leonard, where are you?"
"I'm at the lab," Leonard improvised.
"At 6:30 AM on a Sunday?"
"Exactly."
"Right," Leonard said, putting the call on speaker. Sheldon coughed dramatically. "Just as I predicted, I'm genuinely ill. My temperature has been rising exponentially since 2 AM, and the hemoglobin content in my sputum is at alarming levels."
"Bullshit! Staying up all night taking your temperature every hour would make anyone sick," Ron muttered.
"Ron? Leonard, is Ron there with you?!" Sheldon shouted.
Ron really wanted to smack himself—how could he forget about this kid's superhuman hearing? He frantically gestured at Leonard for help, but the next moment, Leonard shoved the phone into his hands without any sympathy.
Ron glared at him venomously: Just you wait, I'll remember this betrayal. Next time Penny shows up at my door, I'm definitely making a move on your future wife!
"Yes, Sheldon, it's me. I'm with Leonard, and we're working on some research."
"What are you two doing together? cough You don't know anything about physics."
Although he really wanted to strangle this annoying kid who was still insufferable as an adult, for the sake of his mother and grandmother, Ron could only suppress his rage and humor him.
"I have a project that needs scientific input. It's about mechanical engineering. Interested in collaborating?"
"You want a theoretical physics genius to work on mechanical engineering? What's the difference between that and using a maxed-out World of Warcraft character to farm low-level mobs in the starter zone?" Sheldon's tone dripped with condescension.
"Whatever, we need to get going. If there's nothing else, I'm hanging up."
Without waiting for Sheldon to respond, Ron quickly ended the call.
"Thanks, bro." Leonard bumped fists with him gratefully. "If you hadn't stepped in, I wouldn't know how to escape. How did you come up with that mechanical engineering angle?"
Ron fist-bumped him back. "Because I'm actually working on something like that. Howard and Raj are already helping me out, and now I need you.
As payback for saving you from Sheldon's clutches, one day of free labor isn't too much to ask, right?"
Although Ron didn't fully understand the connection between experimental physics and mechanical engineering, if he remembered correctly, Leonard was pretty hands-on and had once collaborated with Howard on laser guidance systems.
Leonard didn't expect that escaping one trap would land him in another. Can these Cooper brothers stop taking advantage of me?!
"Can I say no?" Leonard just wanted to enjoy his hard-earned weekend. He didn't want to work overtime, let alone work for free.
"Of course~" Ron grinned, and Leonard felt a chill run down his spine: "But then I'll have to call my dear brother and tell him that Leonard came home early because something came up. What do you think?"
"No, no, okay I'll do it!" Leonard had no choice but to surrender.
(End of Chapter)
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