Chapter 332: Dr. House, the Suicide Attempt
"You went to the hospital by yourself today?"
Professor Alicia Harper asked with a smile, changing the subject.
"Yeah,"
Hailey retorted, "Well, some people don't know how to be brothers, they didn't even bother to take their sister on a tour."
Chuck remained unmoved.
"How was it?"
Professor Alicia Harper asked, amused.
"Quite interesting,"
Hailey laughed, "especially that Dr. House, tsk tsk."
She then looked at Chuck: "Is Dr. House your friend?"
"I owe him a favor!"
Chuck glanced at Professor Alicia Harper.
"You'll pay him back soon,"
Hailey said with amusement.
"As expected,"
Chuck replied calmly.
"What happened to Dr. House?"
Professor Alicia Harper asked with concern.
Compared to Chuck, she was much more grateful to Dr. House, who had saved her.
Now, hearing the siblings' comments, it seemed Dr. House was in trouble, so she naturally wanted to find out.
Hmm.
Actually, based on her understanding of Dr. House, the fact that he only seemed to be in trouble now was already a miracle.
"I visited today, accompanied by his good buddy Dr. Wilson,"
Hailey laughed. "I witnessed firsthand his work attitude in the outpatient clinic. It wasn't just going through the motions; it was blatant displeasure, and his sarcastic remarks never stopped."
"That's Dr. House for you,"
Professor Alicia Harper shook her head helplessly.
"But this time he was wrong with his sarcastic remarks,"
Hailey said. "One of his patients was a police officer."
"Oh,"
Professor Alicia Harper immediately breathed a sigh of relief.
A police officer? That shouldn't be a big problem.
After all, as the head of Princeton's teaching physicians, Dr. House had treated many police officers over the years; if he wanted to offend them, he would have done so long ago.
Now that everything was fine, the police's legendary methods were unlikely to be used against him.
Besides, if all else failed, there was always Chuck.
Chuck was a senior advisor to the police, and the New Jersey Police Chief was also his friend.
"He's also of Irish descent!"
Hailey added with a half-smile.
"How did Dr. House offend him?"
Professor Alicia Harper's expression changed instantly. Her previously indifferent heart tightened again, and she anxiously pressed for an answer.
If it were just a simple police officer, perhaps it wouldn't matter.
But adding the Irish ancestry, and the fact that it happened in New Jersey, near New York, completely changed the situation.
Even as a university professor in the ivory tower of academia, she understood what this meant.
Many East Coast cities in the so-called New England region, including famous cities like New York and Boston, have a strong organized crime culture.
Two main branches exist:
Italian and Irish.
For example, St. Patrick's Day on March 17th in New York is an Irish holiday, dedicated to St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland.
This is a very famous holiday in New York, second only to New Year's Day and Christmas in terms of popularity.
A key moment in the American sitcom How I Met Your Mother where the loyal mother with the yellow umbrella falls for a bad guy is St. Patrick's Day.
The Irish organized crime culture of the greater New England region, combined with the police, could very well give rise to terrifying white-collar criminal networks.
Why is it described as terrifying? Because while ordinary criminal organizations mostly operate at night, these legitimate networks, besides their nighttime activities, wear law enforcement uniforms during the day and can openly use their authority.
How can ordinary criminals compare?
If you want a benchmark, it's organizations like the ones depicted in The Departed.
From west to east, from the police to the FBI, their power is immense, all-encompassing, and utterly unscrupulous. If they target someone, not only ordinary people but even celebrities will suffer.
They can stage suicides or make people disappear at will; there's something for everyone.
The police help you "commit suicide," the FBI helps cover it up, no trace of it, just a "case closed" response.
Professor Alicia Harper, while not knowing everything, vaguely sensed that the situation was incredibly complex, so complex that even Chuck might not be able to completely contain it.
And then there's Dr. House, whom she knows—that sharp-tongued, foul-mouthed man who can offend people to death. How could she not be worried?
"Looks like you understand,"
Hailey smiled. "I don't know the specifics either. I just saw him go into the outpatient clinic and stay there for a long time. After Dr. House went in, he came out and threw away the packaging of a rectal thermometer.
Then he pretended to the nurse that he seemed to have forgotten something, and then said that since he couldn't remember, it couldn't be anything important, and then he just left."
"..."
Professor Alicia Harper was speechless and felt even worse. She could only look at Chuck: "Chuck?"
"It's okay,"
Chuck said honestly. "If we really need help, Wilson will call us immediately."
"I'd better call Dr. Wilson first to ask,"
Professor Alicia Harper said, worried. Seeing that Chuck didn't seem to care, she decided to make the call herself.
The call connected quickly, and Dr. Wilson's surprised voice came through: "Alicia?"
Chuck was also present when he learned it was about Dr. House, but he was still concerned, saying, "I'll find out right away and call you back. Thank you for your concern."
"He likes you,"
Hailey said with a gossipy laugh as she watched Professor Alicia Harper hang up.
"We're just friends,"
Professor Alicia Harper said, shaking her head.
"That's true."
"He has his true love," Hailey teased.
Professor Alicia Harper chuckled, "You really are Chuck's sister."
"Because we both have the same good eye?"
Hailey blinked.
A moment later, Dr. Wilson called, his voice trembling with embarrassment.
"How is it?"
Professor Alicia Harper asked, increasingly worried. "What's going on between him and that policeman?"
"He..."
Dr. Wilson opened his mouth, struggling to piece together what he knew before speaking in a restrained manner.
"..."
Professor Alicia Harper was speechless.
What kind of person is this?!
The story went like this:
Dr. House entered the outpatient clinic, where a policeman, seeking treatment, complained, "I've been waiting for two hours!"
"Impressive."
Dr. House scoffed, "Have you ever thought about being a biographer? Let me see!"
The police officer patient walked over, unzipping his jacket as he said, "Don't you need to introduce yourself?"
"Sorry, I thought you'd been waiting for two hours."
Dr. House continued to mock, "So you just wanted to chat. Hi, my name is Greg, want to talk about the Yankees?"
The police officer patient held back and showed him the place where he had sought treatment.
Dr. House glanced at the patient, then immediately turned to write in the medical record: "Not an infection!"
"How do you know..."
The police officer patient was a little suspicious, after all, the consultation process was far too hasty. But before he could finish speaking, Dr. House interrupted him, retorting: "Do you want me to touch you? That's your private area!"
While the police officer patient was speechless, Dr. House then explained seriously: "The nicotine gum you were chewing dehydrated you, causing peeling. Also, remember to use lubricant next time."
After that, he immediately added sarcastically: "If you really can't afford it, you can do more prep work beforehand."
"I want you to take a swab and then test it!"
The police officer patient couldn't believe such an unprofessional Dr. House, so he directly stated his request.
"No! Giving an idiot a pointless test is pointless; my monthly quota is already used up."
Dr. House refused outright, using very typical Dr. House language—sharp-tongued and sarcastic—and casually popping a few painkillers.
Seeing this, the police officer patient's expression finally changed. Looking at Dr. House, he said, "You're very rude!"
"Wow, you must be some kind of detective or something,"
Dr. House taunted again.
"You're also very intelligent and humorous."
The police officer patient started pulling up his pants, looking directly at Dr. House, judging him with his professional eye.
"But you're cynical, you're lonely! So you treat everyone around you like idiots, and you get away with it because you're on crutches."
"Please stop,"
Dr. House couldn't help but glance over when he said "but," interrupting the police officer patient as he looked at his crutches, continuing his sarcasm: "You're making me tear up, I can't write the medical record."
"But actually, you can't completely escape punishment,"
the police officer patient calmly stated his opinion of Dr. House: "Some nurse you mocked might have put something in your coffee!"
"Yes, that's why I always order coffee black,"
Dr. House finished writing the medical record, gave a perfunctory reply, and got up to walk towards the door with his crutches.
Then his cane was kicked by the policeman patient, and Dr. House nearly fell, ending up slumped against the door.
"You treat others like fools, and others can treat you like a fool too!"
the policeman patient said calmly, chewing gum.
Dr. House took a few seconds to recover, staring at the policeman patient in surprise. He walked back, took the swab, and began to take a sample for examination.
"Thank you,"
the policeman patient politely thanked Dr. House after the sample was taken.
Dr. House glanced at him and said directly, "Bend over!"
"Are you kidding?"
the policeman patient looked at Dr. House in disbelief.
After all, he wasn't like Howard, who had always used the most professional temperature-taking methods.
He knew that body temperature could be taken under the armpit and in the mouth.
Normal people did take their temperature that way; there was no need for such a professional method.
Especially for an adult, a middle-aged man like him!
"If you have an infection, you'll have a fever,"
Dr. House immediately threw in the medical jargon, waving the thermometer in his hand. "But you're chewing nicotine gum, so your oral temperature won't be accurate. That's why I'm taking the scenic route."
The police officer patient smiled awkwardly, but still obeyed the doctor's orders, turning around, taking off his pants, and letting Dr. House take his temperature.
"Wait until I put the thermometer in before you react,"
Dr. House mocked again in response to the police officer patient's grunt. As the police officer patient turned around, he directly threatened, "Hold it tight, it's your responsibility if it breaks."
With that, he made the police officer patient stand there bent over and wait, then went out. After leaving, he told the nurse what Hailey had overheard, and then went home.
"Let me summarize the key points,"
Hailey, who had also heard the whole thing, laughed and continued, "Dr. House made the patient wait for two hours for no reason, ignored the patient's reasonable requests, started arguing as soon as they met, and argued from beginning to end, even calling the patient an idiot, and then used the rectal temperature-taking method to humiliate the patient, and then left without waiting for the results, leaving the patient, who was bent over having their temperature taken, waiting there like an idiot!"
"Good Lord,"
Professor Alicia Harper sighed, rubbing her forehead.
If she had only been instinctively speechless at first, after hearing Hailey's summary, she realized that the situation was even worse than she had imagined.
This was not how a doctor should behave.
Even with the so-called eccentric doctor title, it was unacceptable.
Because this was completely lacking in medical ethics!
Let alone the fact that the other party was a policeman, even an ordinary person with a bit of backbone would not tolerate being treated like this by a doctor.
"Yeah,"
her good friend Dr. Wilson sighed helplessly on the other end of the phone.
"Dr. Wilson, I'm afraid you haven't grasped the real problem,"
Hailey warned. "The other party is a policeman, an Irishman, and someone who believes in an eye for an eye!"
"What do you mean?"
Dr. Wilson was stunned.
He certainly didn't agree with his friend's actions, but being kind-hearted, he hadn't witnessed much of the darker side of society, so he lacked a basic understanding of the serious consequences of Dr. House's actions.
After listening to Dr. House's explanation and Hailey's analysis, he only felt increasingly helpless and ashamed of his friend's actions, without realizing the real trouble.
Professor Alicia Harper quickly explained the danger.
"No way?"
Dr. Wilson jumped, terrified, and instinctively called out for help, "Chuck?"
"You've omitted a lot."
Chuck said calmly, "The part about me in this conversation."
"Well..."
Dr. Wilson gave a wry smile.
"There really is."
Professor Alicia Harper glanced at Chuck with a headache.
"I know."
Hailey immediately understood: "I heard that Chuck broke Dr. House's cane before, and this time the policeman kicked Dr. House's cane down, which will definitely make Dr. House criticize Chuck, and that 'you're a detective or something' comment must have been a dig at Detective Chuck, but you omitted it, Dr. Wilson."
"..."
Dr. Wilson was speechless.
Why are there so many smart people in this world who can see through others at a glance!
For ordinary people like them, it's just too difficult!
That's right!
What Chuck and Hailey said was indeed true. Dr. House had indeed criticized Chuck harshly, especially when the policeman kicked down his cane, and he went back to retaliate with the rectal temperature measurement method. When talking about this, he was full of regret that he couldn't replicate it on Chuck and his own sarcastic remarks.
He knew Chuck's personality; how could he dare say that to Chuck?
"Chuck, you know that's just the kind of person he is... he doesn't really mean any harm."
Dr. Wilson, exasperated, helped his best friend clean up the mess. "You have to help him!"
"I don't think this policeman did anything wrong. He's incredibly polite; an ordinary person would be moved to tears by such a cop,"
Chuck said calmly. "Let's talk about it when he really does something wrong, something worse than what House did to him."
Dr. Wilson: "..."
(End of Chapter)
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