Chapter 158: Memory is the Root of Pain. It's a Blessing to Be Able to Forget!
"Do you think I can be Jerry Seinfeld?"
Chandler was deeply moved.
"No."
Chuck shook his head: "I'm talking about Jerry Seinfeld's level, not Jerry Seinfeld himself. Your style can't be Jerry Seinfeld, and you shouldn't try to be either. The audience would be too niche."
"..."
Chandler's mouth twitched.
He didn't mean he wanted to become Jerry Seinfeld literally, just reach that level of success, which was what Chuck meant.
But he seriously suspected that Chuck was deliberately pretending not to understand in order to mess with him.
"Can I really be a stand-up comedian on the level of Jerry Seinfeld?"
Chandler was fascinated but lacked confidence.
No wonder.
Although many people don't know Jerry Seinfeld's current worth, and even think of him as just another comedian, he lives in a multi-million dollar Manhattan penthouse, travels by private jet, and has enough clout to publicly shut down younger comedians who cross him with multi-million dollar deals to buy out their careers and tell them to get out of his territory.
Being a stand-up comedian of that caliber, even without dreaming about it, is certainly lucrative.
With Chuck's words, Chandler felt less burdened by their respective roles.
After all, being partners is profitable, not embarrassing!
He just didn't have much confidence in his own ability to reach that level.
"You can be insecure, but don't doubt my judgment,"
Chuck said bluntly.
"Sorry, sorry,"
Chandler shrugged self-deprecatingly. "I almost thought I was in control."
"Keep thinking that,"
Chuck nodded.
"..."
Chandler's mouth twitched.
Well, it seems the so-called partnership is only in name.
Well, with someone like Chuck, how could anyone else make decisions for him?
"Do you agree?"
Chuck looked at Chandler.
"Agreed!"
Chandler hesitated, but spoke honestly.
Chuck pulled out his phone and quickly typed, saying, "I'll email you the standard contract and confidentiality agreement. Take a look, then print it out and sign it."
The next moment, Chandler's phone buzzed. He pulled it out and saw it was indeed an email from Chuck, with a long list of documents already sent. He was stunned. "When did you prepare all this?"
"After your first case,"
Chuck said calmly.
"Well, it seems I must be talented,"
Chandler grumbled. "Otherwise, it wouldn't be worth your time to prepare everything in advance."
"Again, you can be insecure, but don't question my judgment,"
Chuck said bluntly.
"Hey, hey, hey."
Jake Peralta looked on with envy. Seeing Chuck turn to leave, he immediately ran over to stop him. "Boss, no, partner, Chandler can do it, I think I can do it too, what do you think?"
"No."
Chuck shook his head.
"Why?"
Jake Peralta complained. "How am I worse than Chandler? I'm funny too, okay?"
"Chandler's funny,"
Chuck looked at him and said bluntly, "You're just goofy."
Chandler's humor was almost always self-deprecating and sarcastic, but it was genuinely witty. Unlike Jake Peralta, who would stick his butt out, twist his head around, point one finger at his face and the other at his butt, and ask others in a very suggestive way how he was doing.
That was just goofy!
"Get lost, Peralta,"
Detective Amy Santiago said with disdain. "You're such an embarrassment! Is it worth it?"
"I think it might be,"
Jake Peralta said self-deprecatingly. "But my grandma left me an apartment and I'm about to lose it. I went to the bank to get a loan to keep it. The loan officer, after I finished explaining my situation, just looked at me and burst out laughing. He was cracking up, couldn't stop laughing. What do you call that? Funny or just pathetic?"
"Funny,"
Chuck said bluntly.
"You're blaming others for laughing at you now?"
Detective Amy Santiago complained. "Why don't you look at your finances? They're completely nonsensical, your reckless spending has left you drowning in debt. Any sane loan officer would be amused after looking at your credit report."
"I grew up without parents. My grandma raised me in that apartment. It holds all my precious memories..."
Jake Peralta suddenly took a sentimental approach.
"How much money do you need?"
Chandler said reluctantly.
"$430,000."
Jake Peralta saw that he had hooked someone and immediately grinned: "Preferably in cash."
"Hahaha."
Chandler's sympathy disappeared instantly. He immediately pictured the loan officer Jake Peralta had mentioned and burst out laughing.
"..."
Jake Peralta's mouth twitched. He realized that Chandler really did have a good sense of humor.
"Hey, money man, $430,000 is nothing to you, right?"
Jake Peralta appealed to Chuck again: "Just think of it as a loan. Everything will follow normal procedures. Interest will be what it should be. I just don't want to go back to the bank."
"No."
Chuck shook his head: "Money isn't the issue, but you're NYPD, and notoriously problematic NYPD at that. It's not wise to have financial dealings with you."
"But that's where I keep my only fond memories of my grandma,"
Jake Peralta said pitifully.
"Go find her,"
Chuck gestured for Jake Peralta to look at Medical Examiner Rose, who was working nearby. "It won't be long before you won't remember much anyway."
"It's true,"
Rose said, looking up with a playful smile. "Excessive sexual activity can lead to premature aging. One symptom is poor memory, and recollections begin to fade. It's scientifically proven, and I can verify it for you, free of charge."
"..."
Not only Jake Peralta, but even Chandler and Detective Amy Santiago were stunned by Rose's flirtatious comment.
"Memory is the root of pain. Forgetting is a blessing."
Seeing Chuck and Detective Amy Santiago get into the car, Chandler patted Jake Peralta's shoulder and delivered this line in his distinctive tone. Then, with a theatrical expression and flourish, he climbed into the back seat. After closing the car door, he gave a thumbs up to the stunned Jake Peralta through the window. "Go for it!"
He then urged Chuck and the others, "Let's go! Don't let Jake forget his sorrows!"
"Seatbelt!"
Chuck didn't indulge him. He simply reminded them of necessary safety precautions and drove off, heading for Albany, the capital of New York State.
That's right!
Just like California's capital isn't the famous Los Angeles but the lesser-known Sacramento, New York's capital isn't the renowned New York City but Albany, 225 kilometers away.
State legislators work in the State Capitol, which is located in the capital city.
The drive takes about three hours.
On the way.
"So, how's your friend who was obsessed with comic updates doing?"
Detective Amy Santiago couldn't help but ask. "Now that the comic has completely stopped updating, is his OCD okay?"
"He's fine, I'm the best at treating OCD,"
Chuck said calmly.
"Yeah, right!"
Chandler scoffed.
"What's the issue?"
Detective Amy Santiago turned to Chandler, puzzled.
"Big issue,"
Chandler quipped. "OCD treated by him only gets worse, never better or cured. Just look at Monica. Her OCD was frightening before, but now with Chuck's 'treatment,' she's gone from scary to absolutely terrifying."
"Oh, this..."
Detective Amy Santiago suddenly remembered the earnest little boy who had called during their last case, and she felt sorry for him.
This 'friend' obsessed with comic updates was probably that poor kid.
Chuck drove calmly, unresponsive.
The car suddenly fell silent. Detective Amy Santiago, unaccustomed to such quiet, instinctively reached for the radio. "How about some music?"
"No!"
Chuck refused.
"Okay,"
Detective Amy Santiago immediately withdrew her hand. After a moment, she spoke again, "Did you know that Amazing Amy went to visit that comic book author? How thoughtful!"
"What comic book author?"
Chandler asked curiously.
"You didn't know?"
Detective Amy Santiago was stunned. Ever since she'd learned about this tragic case, she'd been discussing it with everyone. She'd assumed Chuck would know, so his friends would too. She hadn't expected Chandler to be clueless.
Then she couldn't help but sigh internally. Chuck being Chuck, it was normal for him to be indifferent, and he certainly didn't gossip.
"Holy shit!"
Chandler exclaimed after hearing the story. "That's the worst thing I've ever heard. No one could be worse off than him!"
"That's not necessarily true,"
Detective Amy Santiago sighed.
"Don't include me."
Chandler said self-deprecatingly, "This time, I have to admit that compared to him, I'm not miserable at all."
After that, he said to Chuck who was driving, "Chuck, why don't we go help investigate this case?"
"No."
Chuck shook his head.
"Why?"
Chandler pressed, "I thought we were detectives fighting for justice, right?"
"No."
Chuck said honestly, "Being a detective and solving cases is just my way to relax in my spare time. Accounting is my job, and my main profession is mathematics."
"Then solve this case and relax."
Chandler complained, "Anyway, ever since I heard about this case, I can't relax at all. It's too disturbing."
"You don't need to worry at all."
Chuck said.
"Why?"
Chandler said self-deprecatingly, "Oh, right, because I don't have a girlfriend, let alone a fiancée."
"Exactly."
Chuck nodded matter-of-factly.
Chandler: "..."
(End of Chapter)
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