Chapter 64: Dogs Playing Poker
"Switzerland is truly an amazing country, able to make such miraculous medicine. I should visit there sometime,"
Phoebe exclaimed, gently touching Rachel's face.
"It's probably not worth the trip,"
Chuck shook his head. "The pharmaceutical companies there are pretty exclusive about their research facilities."
Phoebe was about to ask more when Monica interrupted her, scooping up a generous portion of mashed potatoes: "Here's the garlic and herb mashed potatoes you requested!"
"Delicious,"
Phoebe said, not pursuing her questions about Switzerland. She took a bite and immediately gave Chuck a thumbs-up.
While preparing dinner tonight, she, Joey, and Ross had each lobbied for their own potato recipe. Their puppy-dog eyes had worked, so Monica had grudgingly made three different versions to satisfy everyone's preferences.
If she had objected, Monica would have lost it.
Joey, like he hadn't eaten in days, devoured everything in sight.
Leaning back with his belly bulging, Joey smiled with complete satisfaction.
"Let's play cards,"
Chandler suggested with a grin.
"Play cards?"
The girls looked at him suspiciously. "With us?"
They remembered that Chandler and the guys never included them in poker games. They'd asked before, and the dismissive response had made it clear the guys thought women couldn't play cards properly.
Monica, being naturally competitive, had even hired a poker coach to teach them the game, but the results were still disappointing, earning constant mockery from Ross and his friends.
It really showed there was no mercy among family and friends at the card table.
Now Chandler was suggesting a game himself, which surprised everyone.
"Count us up,"
Chandler said, pointing around the table. "Don't you think that's perfect?"
"Dogs playing poker!"
Monica exclaimed.
The painting Chuck had given her showed seven dogs playing poker, and with their six friends plus Chuck, they made a perfect seven.
"I'm not a dog!"
Ross protested.
"You wish you were getting as much action as one,"
Chandler teased, glancing meaningfully at Ross's right hand.
Ross: "..."
Was this joke never going to end?
"Chuck, do you play poker?"
Monica asked.
"Of course he plays! Why else would he give you that painting of dogs playing poker with exactly seven dogs in it?"
Chandler chimed in. "We need to appreciate Chuck's sense of irony."
He gave Monica a knowing smile.
Monica suddenly realized the implication and looked down sheepishly, not daring to look at Chuck, wondering if his choice of painting had been a subtle hint.
"I'll get the cards,"
Phoebe volunteered, standing up.
"Actually, maybe we shouldn't,"
Chuck shook his head. "The dogs playing poker wasn't my original idea. The painting I copied originally had seven dogs in it. It's just a coincidence."
"We can still play if you want,"
Ross said, suddenly changing his tune. "Playing for fun is boring. If we're going to play, let's play for real money."
He was a skilled casino player, just as competitive as his sister Monica. Plus, he was naturally tight with money. He was completely ruthless at the poker table, showing no mercy even to Rachel. He'd felt a little intimidated about playing against Chuck before, but now that Chuck seemed reluctant, Ross felt confident.
"Let's not play for money,"
Chuck still shook his head. "Gambling ruins friendships."
"A little friendly wagering is fun! It's not high stakes!"
Ross was getting excited and asked provocatively: "What's wrong, scared to lose?"
Chuck looked at Monica.
"Go ahead and play. Whatever happens between you and him won't affect us,"
Monica understood Chuck's questioning look and immediately made it clear that she wouldn't hold any gambling losses against Chuck, even if Ross cleaned him out.
"Yeah, take him for everything! He's so cocky!"
Rachel cheered.
"Should we play then?"
Chuck looked at Ross.
"Bring it on!"
Ross, emboldened by Rachel's support, was determined to beat Chuck at something!
"Alright then,"
Chuck nodded, getting up from the table and settling onto the couch.
"You guys start, I'll clean up!"
Monica glanced at the dinner remnants and began clearing the table.
"Even better,"
Phoebe applauded. "Chuck, representing Monica, will team up with us girls to challenge you boys once again."
"Is it just me, or does this seem backwards?"
Chandler quipped. "Are you sure I shouldn't be representing the girls' team?"
With his sarcastic wit and metro sensibilities, female colleagues were always asking him to be their gay best friend.
Chuck couldn't help but glance at him knowingly.
"Enough talk, let's get started!"
Ross, already in full gambling mode, announced, "Everyone starts with $50 in chips. If you go bust, you can buy back in. Sound good?"
"Isn't $50 kind of steep?"
Joey hesitated.
Rachel and Phoebe nodded in agreement.
They couldn't help it—they were the poorest of their friend group, working irregular jobs and barely making ends meet.
"Too much? Don't be party poopers on Thanksgiving,"
Ross, who came from a comfortable middle-class family, didn't understand their financial constraints and just pushed them to play.
"It's fine, go ahead,"
Chuck nodded to Rachel and Phoebe. "I'll stake you. Just pay me back when you win big."
He pulled out $150 and exchanged it for chips for Rachel and Phoebe.
With chips on the table, the game officially began.
Ross picked up his cards, his eyes locked on Chuck.
Tonight's game was really between the two of them.
But soon his mood soured. No matter how carefully he played, his chips kept migrating to Chuck's stack.
Phoebe and Rachel clearly had no poker talent—they lost their money early and started cheering Chuck on, which only made Ross more frustrated.
When another hand began, Ross's eyes narrowed as he tried to control his excitement, having been dealt what was practically a guaranteed winning hand.
"I'm all-in,"
Chuck announced, pushing all his chips forward.
"..."
Ross looked at his meager chip stack, then at the monster hand he was holding, and exploded: "You're cheating!"
This wasn't the first time Chuck had pulled this move.
Whenever Chuck had way more chips than Ross, he would go all-in without even looking at his cards.
Before, Ross's hands hadn't been good enough to call such aggressive play. But now that he finally had premium cards, he didn't have enough chips to make it hurt.
This was pure chip bullying!
"If you're really confident in your hand, you can buy more chips,"
Chuck said reasonably.
"I'll buy in!"
Ross looked at his monster hand, refusing to believe that Chuck, who hadn't even looked at his cards, could have anything better. He wasn't about to fold now.
"Chuck has nearly all the chips—almost $300,"
Rachel laughed. "Do you even have that much cash on you?"
"I can write a check,"
Ross obviously didn't carry that much cash. He pulled out his checkbook—the special one with dinosaurs printed on it that he'd gotten from the Museum of Natural History—and wrote a check for $300. He tore it off and slammed it on the table. "This work for you?"
(End of Chapter)
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