"Hey fatty" the voice of my older brother sounded in my ear
Huh wasn't I dead just now
My hands subconsciously rose up to feel the skin on my shoulder
It wasn't wet with blood and neither was there any bite wound
"Are you listening to me" my brother's voice became impatient
Huh
"What are you doing here" I said in confusion
I mean how would you feel if you were bitten to death by a zombie
Then you practically blink and you're standing in the classroom unharmed
It's just pure confusion
"I came here to talk with my worthless brother" he said
These words
Didn't he just say the exact same thing a few hours ago
Yeah I seem to remember it clearly
"Oh okay" I said because I noticed that he was about to frown
He must have thought I was ignoring him
"Dad wants you to come home and take your stuff"
"He said he's tired of keeping such a worthless trash in his house that only lazes around"
"So you're already out of the family registry"
"We're also going to throw your stuff away if you don't come to collect it after the semester ends" my brother said this and walked away
His steps were steady and he didn't even pause due to guilt after saying such traumatizing words to someone he called brother
But I was too busy thinking about how the same thing happened
There were some variations probably due to the fact that I might have pissed him off by not paying attention in the beginning
That must have been why his marks were more cutting instead of plain
But that still didn't reduce the pain that came from hearing such words
It stands to reason that hearing it a second time would make me expect it
But I guess I still had hope that it might be something different
That through some supernatural miracle, my father wouldn't disown me
But reality is cruel
People say that so easily with a determination to become worse
They say life is hard like it's some kind of comfort
Like if they accept with their soul then they would be able to live in this cruel hard world
They say it's survival of the fittest and gain enlightenment
Suddenly they are better than they were before and they become smarter or more determined
At this point, I felt like laughing
Loud crazy laughter to scorn myself
The world is cruel
Why should that make me feel anything except despair
Because that just means that no matter how hard I try;
I would still suffer
If I don't try then it would still result in suffering
Life is hard
My life...my life is horrible, miserable and traumatizing
Just "hard" is too low of an expression
They say life isn't easy so why bother to continue trying
And when you do give up, you're seen as a piece of trash that didn't even dare to try
They see you as a coward that is a waste of space
But they don't see the beginning
They don't see as the light on your eyes begin to dim
No they see your suffering and then they begin to scorn you when you submit to that suffering
But the important question that should be asked is :
Why aren't you helping me
If it bothers you so much then why don't you do it yourself
Someone would reply that why should they help a complete stranger if they don't have the courage to do it themselves
And I reply to you that if I'm such a stranger then why do you still insist on getting involved with me
People naturally can't bear to see someone suffering
If you're not going to help then close your eyes and block your ears
It might sound morally wrong but this is just my opinion
To give an analogy;
What's the point of giving that one beggar on the street some loose change
The money would be spent and the same beggar would be on the street the next day
If you continuously give that beggar money everyday
Then you are committing a sin to that beggar greater than someone who would ignore him
That's because you've now conditioned that beggar to think that the only way to acquire money is to beg on the street
You didn't add any value to his life and he probably won't remember if he lives a better life after
That is the truth that people want to ignore
Life is hard
The world is cruel
Survival of the fittest
All of these phrases is a truth that separates human into only two categories
No matter how rich, poor or powerful you are
There are only two type of people :
The strong and The weak
And I am weak, worthless trash
The bell rang and I snapped out of my thoughts
I walked to my seat and took out my manga habitually
Then I started thinking about the zombie
Even though I'm aware of the truth of life due to reading so much manga
My mind won't let me give up yet
Because in situations where time repeats itself after the main character dies;
It never stops at one death
I don't have any aversion to dying
After all I have nothing left to hold me down
Neither do I have a fond memory to motivate me
I don't have any goals neither do I have ambition
Frankly I just want to be at peace
And to me,death sounds very peaceful
So how to prevent the looping
First of all; the looping is probably activated after my death
Honestly I still get shivers thinking about that zombie
It all happened so fast
So I have to escape from it this time
Let's retrace my steps
I entered the classroom and met my brother
Then we talked for a bit and he left
The class started and I continued to read manga
Then a student close eto me collapsed and I was attacked not soon after
So that means that it's one of the students close to me
Now what
Hmm.. the best option is to run away before the student collapses
That should give me enough time to run away from the school
Maybe it's not all around the world and only in our classroom
And the military developed a lot after the natural disasters
Generally humanity became a little tougher than normal
The year were the natural disaster just started and the world was in chaos
There was chaos and lack of order due to such a large scale of destruction and death
Usually natural disaster only affected one country or state or region and it would stop after a while
But this time it was everywhere
The whole world was plagued with different natural disasters at the same time for a full year
The people were sorrowful, desperate and scared
Everyday was a battle and every breath taken was earned from a war for survival
It was tragedy and destruction manifested physically
It was death
It was the end of the world
But people triumphed
I was lucky
The world wanted me to suffer some more so I survived against all odds
And now here I am
Trying to escape from a zombie
"Excuse me sir" I raised my hand
The whole class turned to me and I could feel their disgust as their eyes looked at me in amusement
Well this is the first time I've actually spoken in class without the teacher asking me a question
In a school for the nobles; he couldn't necessarily ignore me
See despite my illegitimate status
I had a status
A stain on the Ming family
And the Ming family has a status comparable to the president along with 4 other noble families
So anyone under the Ming family is still better than a high school teacher in terms of status
So by extension I had a status high enough that I couldn't be ignored
But that doesn't mean he's going to protect me from being bullied
Neither does that stop others from bullying me
It just means he has to respond to me if I ask a question
"I guess someone of your size would require frequent use of the toilet" the teacher said this casually
Like he merely said it's a nice weather today
The whole class snickered and began to whisper
Right my status does attract a lot of hate and insults
After all, nobles hates stains like me the most
"Thank you" I said and stood up to escape the school
The whole class watched me as I stood up with the posture of watching a clown
Now all I have to do is pass the students close to me and I would be out the door
I walked forward a step
Another step
Then I paused
I tried to raise my foot forward but I couldn't
I tried to walk forward
But I was scared
It felt like I would be attacked
It felt like one of those students would jump up and attack me
The zombie would tear into my soft fatty flesh once more and I would be dead
Then I would be back in the classroom
But I couldn't just stand here all day
Come on move
The student slumped down onto the floor
Move; I told myself but my feet were stuck to the ground and my body began to tremble
I kept repeating the same word in my head but my body still refused to move
The student rose up from the floor now with black spots and bloodshot eyes
Red eyes that stared straight at me
I screamed in my head to move
And my body finally listened to my desperate pleas
I took a step back
Haha
After all my internal screaming; I only took one step back
The zombie lunged at me and I fell down
It bit into my shoulder and blood flows out like a broken tap
I died
He he
Haha
Hehe
Let's end this trash world together