I opened my eyes.
It was Sihun Lee. His freshly trimmed bowl cut framed his face neatly—bangs feathered across his forehead, tapering thicker at the sides. His big doe eyes were softened with a touch of brown shadow.
"Hi, hyung," Sihun said timidly.
I gave him a small nod. "Sup. You're looking great."
"Thanks!" He beamed, clearly pleased. "Actually, I was just about to say—you looked like a Greek statue when you were sleeping just now."
"Thanks," I muttered. "You nervous?"
"Nope." He shook his head, confident. "I prepared enough. I know I won't mess up. I'll just keep giving it my all. That's what got me here in the first place. What about you?"
"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't."
"You worry too much, Kai"
The deep voice belonged to Byuongho Joon Lee, striding across the room like a runway model. He sank into the couch opposite us, his smoldering makeup making his sharp features even more striking. His cropped hair, styled with a side part, gave him that effortless "manly" aura. No wonder women went crazy over him.
"You'll do great," he added.
I exhaled hard. "My worries are perfectly valid, Giant B." I made sure to emphasize the nickname.
Sihun snorted.
"Did someone just say Giant B? Are we making fun of Byuongho? Count me in!"
Junho Kim entered, his sleek middle part freshly cut, making him look sharper than ever. Eyeliner accentuated his long eyes, his lips looked plumper, and his skin glowed with that unfair youthful sheen.
"You shouldn't be talking, Kai," Byuongho fired back. "Not like there's much of a height difference between us."
I smirked at Junho. "We were just discussing Byuongho's giant butt. I mean—look at that cake. Yummy, yummy."
Sihun and Junho burst out laughing.
Byuongho's glare could have killed a man. I only grinned wider and winked. "My luscious, cakey Byuongho."
"You're a pervert."
"I don't deny it. Since I admit it, shouldn't you reward me? Show me that cake"
I licked my top lip seductively.
Junho doubled over, wheezing, while Sihun clutched his stomach.
Byuongho's glare deepened.
Teasing him is so fun, I suppose I'll stop for now.
"It's been five months already. I wonder how much longer until we debut." I asked, changing the conversation.
"We'll debut when we debut," Byuongho said with a shrug.
Everyone nodded.
I stared at him, dead-eyed. Then clapped, obnoxiously loud.
"Wow! Inspirational. Life-changing. Truly, words to live by."
I slapped a big thumbs-up in his face.
That only made Sihun and Junho laugh harder.
But I didn't let the conversation slip away. I was genuinely frustrated. "I'm serious. I'm tired of all these evaluations. I just want to debut already."
"I'm not getting any younger either," Junho admitted, his smile fading. "We've prepared enough—more than enough. The only way to get better now is by performing in front of an actual audience."
I pouted. "I'm just getting fed up."
"Me too... me too," Sihun murmured.
We froze at the sound of footsteps.
Producer Kim Seok-In entered, followed by Manager Kim Seo-In and the legendary artist Vince.
We shot up and bowed deeply.
"Good morning," Producer Kim said.
"Good morning," we echoed in unison, our voices trembling.
Their stoic faces made my chest tighten. Something was wrong.
Something bad happened. Did I do something? No, I have done nothing to make them react this way. Maybe, the members? No they're too good—Am I being cut?
My stomach dropped. Panic gnawed at me.
Producer Kim clasped his hands. "We have an important announcement."
Silence swallowed the room.
"Rowan Park and the company have agreed to terminate his contract. He will no longer be debuting with you."
My jaw hit the floor. My heart thrashed in my chest. I whipped my head toward the others— shock written on their faces.
Gone. Just like that. Our leader, our ace, the one who carried us—erased overnight.
"Rowan... is gone?" Sihun's voice cracked. His eyes wet.
"Yes," Manager Kim said curtly.
"The evaluation is canceled. For the inconvenience, you'll be given a week off." Vince bowed politely.
And just like that, they turned and left.
The room caved in on itself.
Sihun broke first. His sobs ripped through the silence, his big eyes red and glistening. "We were supposed to debut together..."
Junho pulled him close, but he was shaking too.
My throat burned. Rowan was the only one who ever stood by me. The one who looked out for me when everyone else kept their distance. Now he was gone. Just gone.
"Did he tell you anything, Junho?" Byuongho's voice cut sharp, almost accusing.
"No!" Junho snapped. "I swear, I just found out now!"
"Then he kept it from us." Byuongho's tone was like steel. "He must have had thoughts about quitting for a while now."
"So....He quit." I said flatly.
Silence.
"There is no way HY-PE would cut their superstar trainee."
"I agree" Byuongho's face was fierce. "Our company would have to be real idiots to let go of Rowan. Which means Rowan, was the one who asked to be cut."
I couldn't take it. My chest felt like it would implode.
"I'm gonna nap. All this talk's giving me a headache," I muttered, waving it off as I walked away.
The truth was, I couldn't stand to fall apart in front of them. Anger churned hotter than grief. Rowan. Of all people. After everything—we weren't worth telling?
He's not worthy of being a leader.
...
The room fell colder the moment Kai left.
"This is what I hate about Kai," Byuongho spat. "He never takes anything seriously."
Sihun shoved Junho's arm away, still crying. "I just... I just want to be alone." He bolted.
Somewhere in the next room, stylists shuffled out, clearly giving us space.
Junho wiped his eyes, voice breaking. "Why... Why is this happening now?"
Byuongho's fist shook violently. "That bastard betrayed us!"
"Don't say that," Junho protested weakly. "Maybe it was the company—"
"Don't start, Junho!" Byuongho snapped, eyes blazing. "You definitely knew something. Keeping it from us is betrayal. The worst kind."
"I didn't know! He didn't tell me anything—"
"Maybe not word for word," Byuongho cut him off, storming away. "But there was no way you were out of loop. You and Rowan are too close to not keep secrets from each other. I swear! I am so pissed!"
...
Practice after practice. Dance after dance. Song after song.
Seven months. That's how long it's been since Rowan walked out of our lives.
Seven months of sweat, blisters, aching throats—only to be told we're still "not improving enough." Every time we perform, the producers tear us apart. Every time we think we've done perfect, they find something to rip open.
And every time, it feels less like critique and more like punishment.
When the producers, managers, and assistants finally filed out, silence crushed the practice room.
Junho's voice cracked first. "I don't get it. We worked so hard. Honestly, I thought we killed it. But no matter what we do, it's never enough for them."
"It's been that way since Rowan left," Byuongho muttered.
I stared at the floor, my voice flat. "Feels like they're blaming us for losing him. And now that he's skyrocketing in fame, we're just the leftovers."
Because Rowan didn't just disappear—he thrived. Two months after cutting ties with us, he reappeared under a really good company, SW Entertainment, one of our companies rivals, debuting in a seven-member group called ARCANE. Center. Visual. The face of the group.
And guess what? Seojun Kang—my old rival—debuted right alongside him, as the lead vocalist.
In just five months, Rowan became a household name. Hosting shows. Getting invitations we could only dream of. His face was everywhere.
Meanwhile, we were still here.
Sweating. Waiting. Fading.
"He's living the dream while we're stuck here," Byuongho said bitterly.
Sihun's lip trembled. "I just... I just want to debut already. We're not getting younger. If we lose this chance..." His voice cracked. "Are we ever going to debut?"
Just 3 weeks ago, Sihun turned 17 years old.
"Don't say that!" Byuongho snapped, sharp and fierce. "We will debut. Together."
Byuongho had taken over as leader when Rowan left. He never asked for it, but none of us argued. He wasn't flashy like Rowan, but he was steady. Reliable. Honest enough to admit Rowan outshined him in every way, but stubborn enough to say he'd still give us everything he had.
My stomach twisted, a dull ache gnawing deeper each day. At first I blamed bad food, but... it started two weeks before Rowan left.
And it never went away.
Maybe it isn't my stomach. Maybe it's my gut. A warning.
I let out a dry laugh. "At this rate, we'll never debut."
All three turned on me.
"Kai." Byuongho's eyes were sharp. "I get that you like brushing things off, but right now? That's not helping."
I raised my hands. "Sorry." The laughter died on my lips.
We've been together every day for seven months now. The anger, the betrayal, the suspicion that once divided us—slowly, painfully, it faded. In the beginning, Sihun couldn't even look at Junho, convinced Rowan must've confided in him. We all wondered. We all accused Junho.
But Rowan never answered our calls. Never texted back. Junho was left in the dark, just like the rest of us. Eventually, we realized we only had each other.
And somewhere between the endless rehearsals and sleepless nights, the four of us became closer than ever.
Even as the world outside forgot we existed, Rowan's face was everywhere.
I tossed a cold can onto the table.
"Guess what I found at the convenience store?"
The guys looked at me curiously.
"What is it?"
I smiled faintly as the silver-haired, green-eyed face on the can caught the fluorescent light.
"Is this... Rowan?" Sihun whispered.
Rowan's perfect smile gleamed from the label, the kind of effortless beauty that made him look untouchable.
"Wow. He's even on drinks now," Junho said with a half-laugh that didn't reach his eyes.
I glanced at Byuongho. He stayed silent, his jaw tight. Our eyes met—just for a second—before he looked away.
"Well, evaluation's over. Time to go," he muttered, clapping his hands once before walking out.
"Looks like Byuongho still holds a grudge," Sihun said softly.
I raised an eyebrow. "Don't you?"
Sihun hesitated, then nodded.
Junho sighed. "Let's just go."
Later, I sat hunched over my desk, pencil in hand, homework spread across the pages. Homeschool. Numbers and words blurred together, my brain too fried from practice to care. My grades were high-mid tier at best—not terrible, not impressive.
Knock knock.
"Come in."
My brother, Macky stepped in, leaning against the doorframe. He was the spitting image of our father—sharp nose, strong jawline, solid presence.
"How was the evaluation?" he asked.
"Trash."
Macky nodded, licking his lips, the way he always did before saying something I didn't want to hear.
"How long are you planning to keep this up?"
Anger crawled under my skin. I didn't answer. Ever since Rowan left and debuted under SW Entertainment, my family's faith in me had cracked. They started whispering about college applications, "backup plans," as if my dream was already slipping through their fingers.
My phone buzzed.
I grabbed it. My heart dropped.
HY-PE Official:
There will be no practice tomorrow. Instead, all trainees are required to attend a meeting at 2 p.m. in the office. Please be on time.
Macky frowned. "What's wrong? You went pale."
"Nothing," I said quickly. "Just a company message. Don't worry about it."
But when I looked at the mirror above my desk, the reflection staring back at me wasn't convincing.
An anxious young man.
Skin drained of color.
Eyes sharp with dread.
My stomach churned. The ache again.
I had a bad feeling about this.
...
I arrived at the office fifteen minutes early. I'd already gone to the bathroom five times because of my anxiety.
Byuongho, Sihun, and Junho were already there.
"Huh?! You guys are early,"
"More like you're late. I was here forty minutes ago. Byuongho and Sihun came ten minutes after me. Where were you?" Junho deadpanned.
I gave him a thumbs up. "I was pooping."
Sihun cracked a small smile. Junho sighed. "Normally, I'd scold you for saying something like that, but right now... we kind of need your personality."
"So I'm not the only one with a bad feeling?"
They shook their heads.
Junho muttered, "Let's not talk about it. I already feel sick."
At 2:03 PM, the door opened. Producer Kim Seok-In walked in, followed by Manager Kim Seo-In and the artist Vince.
"Hello," they said.
"Hello," we all bowed deeply.
They didn't sit. Just stood in front of us, their faces stiff—somewhere between formal and apologetic.
"We have something important to tell you," Producer Kim began. His voice was calm, too calm. "We thought it was best to deliver it face to face rather than over the phone."
My stomach clenched so hard I thought I'd throw up.
The silence between his sentences was unbearable.
"For three years, we've worked hard to establish a debut team. We invested not only money, but time. We wanted this group to be filled with talent—and we achieved that."
My hands shook under the table.
"We want to thank you for your hard work all these years. We've seen you grow into better performers, better people. That being said..."
He inhaled.
"...your debut is cancelled."
The words dropped like a bomb. Nobody breathed. Even the air felt dead.
My ears rang.
My chest tightened.
Cancelled.
Junho's chair creaked as he leaned forward, his voice a whisper. "Are... are you serious?"
Producer Kim's face didn't flinch. "We understand this is difficult, but this is the reality."
Something inside me snapped. "Are you serious?" My voice cracked, louder this time. My chest heaved. "I've worked non-stop for this company. I gave you everything. And now you're throwing us away like trash?"
Byuongho's voice joined mine, lower but trembling with rage. "Why? Why now? We always gave our best."
Sihun, the one who never raised his voice, slammed his fists on the table. His cheeks were wet with tears, but his eyes blazed. "Is it because Rowan left? Ever since he left, it's been like this!"
Junho's voice broke, glassy-eyed. "We trusted you. You told us we'd debut. We built our lives around that promise."
Producer Kim tried again. "I know it's hard to digest this—"
"Damn right it's hard!" I shot up from my chair, fists trembling. "You wasted three years of my life! My family warned me this would happen, but I kept believing in you. You gave us your word, and now—no wonder Rowan left!"
I yanked my trainee card from my pocket and slammed it on the table. "Here. Take it. I'm done wasting another second in this hellhole."
Before anyone could stop me, I stormed out of the room. Out of the building.
I ran as fast as I could. I just wanted to go home.
Tears blurred my vision, hot and furious. Why? Why now? What do I even have left?
By the time I burst through my front door, my sobs had turned uncontrollable.
"Kai?! Is that you?!" my mom rushed from the kitchen, dish towel in hand, eyes wide with panic. "What happened?! What did HY-PE say?!"
"Don't talk to me!" My voice cracked like broken glass. "I'm not in the mood!"
I slammed my bedroom door and collapsed against it.
The silence pressed in. My world had crumbled completely.
What do I do with my life now? I'm too old to start all over.