Meditation II - Sealing the Deal.
—- With the room dead silent, confusion arose, and self-doubt followed.
With Jesus Christ looking downwards, his expression changed entirely. Before, it had been serene, placid, almost as if he was in heaven, but now, it looked so sullen, so dejected, so depressed.
However, not only was Jesus's face filled with despondency, but his disciples' as well. Alongside despondency and dejection, they all shared treacherous glances at each other, almost as if reproaching one another. However, one was different, and he said:
Peter: "Is it, I Lord?"
Through words of self-reflection, he considered himself to be treacherous; he reminded himself of the harsh words that were spoken to him some time ago, that he had been called "Satan" and a "stumbling block" - because of this, he considered himself to be a traitor, one who opposed Jesus Christ's plans.
Parallel to Peter's self-reflection, the disciples were reminded of their past sins, failures, and infidelity. And thus, starting with John, they said:
John: "Is it me, Jesus?"
James: "Surely it isn't me, Lord?"
Andrew: "Could I be the one to betray you, Master?"
Philip: "Please tell me, Lord, if I have betrayed you, I will repent."
Bartholomew: "And I was well, Jesus. Tell me if I have done such a treacherous thing!"
Simon the Zealot: "Lord, forgive me for unbelief!"
John: "Have mercy upon me, Lord!"
Thaddaeus: "Is it me, Master?"
Thomas: "Have I betrayed you, Master?
Matthew: "Forgive me, O Lord!"
So did the disciples reveal their corrupt interiors. The disciples all begged for pardon, for forgiveness, for mercy. With sullen faces, they thought of all the times they were reproached for their infidelity and, with contrite hearts, asked sincerely if they were to blame.
All but one did so, and who was left was - Judas Iscariot. Surely he wasn't going to betray Jesus Christ? They were friends for so long, they ate, slept, and walked together everywhere. Furthermore, at some points, Jesus gave Judas the power to perform miracles in front of many - to heal the sick, cure the blind, make the lame walk, open ears of the deaf, and even cast out evil spirits.
Because of the silence Judas gave to them, the Apostles all glanced at Judas with confused facial expressions, wondering why he hadn't said anything yet.
With stiff shoulders, Judas stuttering said -
Judas: "Is… is it I, Lord?
Pleonexia: "Perfectttt, if you saayyy it like that, even he might believe you"
Aided by the help of the Deomnic Spirit representing Greed: Pleonexia, Judas was able to pull off a believable stunt. However -
Jesus: "It is as you say."
That would not work on the man who knew the deepest, darkest secrets of men. Yes, he could certainly pick out right from wrong, enemy from friend, betrayer from consoler.
With his plan revealed, open to his imitate friends, Judas stiffened his cheeks and was bewildered. With uptight and anxious movements, he only looked more guilty. However, Pleonexia was not going to let him go into battle alone. Thus, he uttered a cunning suggestion.
Pleonexia: "He'sss just bluffing, he doesn't reallyyyy know about the secret plan to betray him. Yes, just act like you're sorry for your sins, like those people did."
Satan: "Yes, in fact, to make these next few words more believable, let me help you, my friend."
Holding eye contact with Judas at that moment would've revealed that he was not Judas anymore. Something, someone had taken control of him, and therefore, his anxiety quenched, and with tears in his eyes stood up and begged for pardon by saying: "Forgive me."
Judas: "Forgive me, O Lord, for being such a sinner, allow me to be in your presence."
A lie that could fool even the smartest of men, a lie that fooled the entire band of Apostles. Surely Judas has sinned, let him beg for mercy and pardon, and Jesus will restore him into the state of Grace - he's only Human after all - Is what they probably thought.
Nonetheless, this connivery would not fool the man to whom he cried these words. Thus, knowing that Satan had utterly filled Judas's heart and possessed him entirely, thought it fitting to permit him to do whatever he pleased.
If he would pretend and beg for pardon, he would allow it.
If he would pretend to be his friend, he would allow it.
If he were to betray him right there, he would allow it.
Even if he did all of these things, he would still love him.
However, the time of his passion is drawing near, and he has much to say to his real friends, that's why he won't -
Jesus: "Go and do what you came for, friend."
Allow him to stay any longer.
All the Apostles turned their necks and looked at Judas once more, shedding a lot of tears, and he left the supper-room abruptly.
Considering he was in charge of the finances of the twelve, the twelve thought he was preparing for the day that came next. Thus, they did not bat an eye; they thought nothing of the sort.
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Closing the door behind him and with a treacherous smile, truly treacherous, Judas had turned to the right and walked until he reached the stairs. Proceeding downwards with caution, he finally got a hold of the front door that led him outside and opened it, then bolted outside.
He had to be quick, before his chance disappears, otherwise the money will be gone.
Pleonexia: Hurrryy, hurryyry, the money will disappear if you don't hurryyy"
Betrayal.
What Judas was doing was commonly known as betrayal. Thus, what was he going to achieve from this other than his future being secured?
Thinking about his fruitless labour, he slowed his pace down and, looking down, he outlined the merit he was going to receive when -
Satan: "Judas, what you're doing is right, it's so right, completely right, so justifiable, so heroic, so correct."
Why was it right? Why was it justifiable? Why was it heroic? Why was it correct?
Satan: "Because this man has done nothing but cause trouble. Do you not remember his woes upon those innocent cities? Or what about the time he preached false things, such as having a poverty of spirit and being "clean" of heart to see God?
Pleonexia: "Yes, yes, Judas, you cannot let his works fool you - he did them by a demonic spirit, nothingggg other than magiccc."
Tch. To think he was almost swayed by foolishness.
Thus, tilting his neck upwards, he started picking up his pace and ran straight. Only about 400 meters was he away from the honourable Pharisee's house. All he had to do was run a little while longer, turn left on the crooked road, then right, left, then left, then right, and he was there.
And so he did, and eventually he reached the Pharisee's house, and what he could see was a wooden door with the Star of David embedded in the middle. Judas then banged the door with three intervals between and waited patiently. A voice came and said, "Who is it?
Judas: "It is me, I have come to tell you where Jesus will be."
Recognising the voice, the bulky man who was vertically 190 centimeters, opened the door. He glared down at Judas and recognised the owner of the voice and thus, by stepping aside, permitted him to enter.
The Pharisee's house was not particularly large. It had one room where a staircase sat at the far right leading upwards to the second floor, a rug in the middle of the house, a table and a chair enthroned upon it, and a little light that allowed him to see.
???: "It's good to see you've kept your side of the promise, Judas Iscariot."
Said the man in a husky voice. With two guards on each side of him, trying to harm the man in any way would be fruitless, though Judas was not here to cause any mayhem to the man who was advanced in years.
Considering the man mentioned that Judas had kept a promise, he and Judas probably made a deal a while back.
Judas: "Of course, who else would've been able to stop that maniac from preaching false things, Annas?"
Heroism was found in the heart of Judas. He felt like a hero, being able to stop a madman from his crimes. But of course, maniacs shouldn't be able to roam the holy Jerusalem streets freely; they must be captured, that's why he had made this deal.
Stepping inside the lightly dimmed room, Judas looked around - his face portrayed anxiety and worry while also being wet from sweat since he had decided to run from the house where he dined, to his desired destination: The Pharisee's House.
Annas: "I take it that you have kept your end of the deal, considering you are here."
While still being seated, Annas spoke to Judas with no sort of intimacy whatsoever. He was only a supplier, one who carried his desired goods.
Judas: "Of course, and have you kept your end of the deal?"
Deals are deals. They are usually negotiated between two or more people, and of course, both parties must keep their end of the deal. That's why both Annas and Judas asked the main question - whether they had kept their end of the negotiating.
Both parties required something of the other - for Judas it was a large sum of money, and for Annas it was Jesus Christ's location.
Annas: "Here."
Tossing a brown-sack of gold, it landed near the feet of Judas Isacriot, who picked the coins that escaped with haste and safely secured them in the bag.
With a diabolical smile, he was apparently pleased, that was when —
Pleonexia: "Do you seee? Now you're future is securedddd"
A large house and fancy garments, lots of fruits and food, he was certainly secure. However, at that present moment, he had to neglect thoughts of living in luxury and keep his end of the deal.
Wiping away his smirk, with a confident voice, he claimed: "Jesus will be in the Garden of Gethsemane shortly-"
Judas: "He often visits there, late at night to pray, and because of the time currently, nobody will suspect anything."
Annas: "And how are you so sure that he will be there? How do we know you're not lying to us??"
The man, - no, Annas seemed to be overly cautious, he and Judas had been scheming in secret for months now, and he still held Judas to be untrustworthy?
Judas: "I've known his ways and behavioral patterns for three long, hard years; do not hold me to be a liar."
Annas: "Well, I'm just making sure my end of the deal is kept, that is a large sum of money, you know? I can't just hand it over to be scammed; such tomfoolery is prohibited!"
Probably prohibited by his myriad of pharitical laws. Annas had just simply wanted to make sure his end of the deal with safely received so that he could be pleased with the outcome. It's not a bad thing to wish, so Judas raised his eyebrows and lowered his tone and said, "How about this,"
Judas: "You bring a band of soldiers with me, and the man I kiss will be Jesus Christ. If not, the soldiers can arrest me. Moreover, I will gladly hand the money back to you, and you can do whatever you please with me."
Putting both his elbows and resting his chin on the back of his hand, Annas raised his eyebrows and thought about it carefully.
After a few seconds had passed, he replied, "Alright,"
Annas: "It is as you say, if Jesus Christ is not in the Garden of Gethsemane but is instead somewhere else, I will hold you accountable for lying to such a great High Priest and withdraw my end of the deal, does that sound fair?"
Repeating the solution Judas presented to him to aid the precaution of Annas, he sealed the deal.
Annas: "You will have eight men with swords and clubs, ten men with bows and arrows, three men with torches to lead the way, and two men with handcuffs and ropes to subdue that bastard."
Appearing from the shadows, the men greeted Judas with icy glares, enough to frighten a child and make them run to their mommy and hide behind their skirts.
Polce in Unison: "Let's catch that bastard!"
Closing Annas's door, they went and all followed Judas. All the men followed Judas, the men with swords and clubs, the men with bows and arrows, the men with torches to lead the way, and the men who were going to subdue an unarmed man.
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"—----"
Still slightly silent, the super-room was about to go to the Garden of Gethsemane, though what awaited was unknown to many but some.
After Judas had left, Jesus had discussed with his Apostles that he was going back to the Father and that they should not be afraid or worry at his absence. The reason was that the aid of the Holy Spirit, the Paraclete, was going to give them consolation, and he was going to empower them so much so that they would be able to bear everything Jesus spoke.
Time was fleeting, and Jesus had to commence with his Father's will in mind. Thus, before leaving, Jesus opened his mouth and, with a dejected voice, said —
Jesus: "The time is near, come forth, my children, let us pray and leave."
His disciples all assembled in kneeling positions and drew near to Jesus. When the disciples had all gotten close, he stretched out his arms and said, looking upwards, he said, "Father, the hour has come,"
Jesus: "Father, the hour has come; glorify your Son so that the Son may glorify you, since you have given him authority over all people, to give eternal life to all whom you have given him. And this is eternal life, that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent. I glorified you on earth by finishing the work that you gave me to do. So now, Father, glorify me in your own presence with the glory that I had in your presence before the world existed. I have made your name known to those whom you gave me from the world. They were yours, and you gave them to me, and they have kept your word. Now they know that everything you have given me is from you; for the words that you gave to me I have given to them, and they have received them and know in truth that I came from you; and they have believed that you sent me. I am asking on their behalf; I am not asking on behalf of the world, but on behalf of those whom you gave me, because they are yours. All mine are yours, and yours are mine; and I have been glorified in them.
And now I am no longer in the world, but they are in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them in your name that you have given me, so that they may be one, as we are one. While I was with them, I protected them in your name that you have given me. I guarded them, and not one of them was lost except the one destined to be lost, so that the scripture might be fulfilled. But now I am coming to you, and I speak these things in the world so that they may have my joy made complete in themselves. I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because they do not belong to the world, just as I do not belong to the world. I am not asking you to take them out of the world, but I ask you to protect them from the evil one. They do not belong to the world, just as I do not belong to the world. Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. As you have sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world. And for their sakes I sanctify myself, so that they also may be sanctified in truth.
I ask not only on behalf of these, but also on behalf of those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one. As you, Father, are in me and I am in you, may they also be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. The glory that you have given me I have given them, so that they may be one, as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become completely one, so that the world may know that you have sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. Father, I desire that those also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory, which you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world. Righteous Father, the world does not know you, but I know you; and these know that you have sent me. I made your name known to them, and I will make it known, so that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them."
Apostles: "Amen"
The Prayer spoken by Jesus initiated love within their hearts, love for their brethren and God. Jesus wanted them to be one, as he and the Father are one. His prayer initiated closeness and intimacy, love and peace, and no one could oppose such a beautiful prayer.
So, with promptness, the disciples rose from their previous positions and stationed themselves ready for an outside adventure, putting on their boots and extra garments.
One by one, all left the supper-room and headed downstairs and eventually outside the house, waiting by the front door for their Master.
Eventually, Jesus came out, just behind John, and started walking to his left to the Garden of Gethsemane. It wasn't a long, tedious journey, but it wasn't respectively short either. It was a mixture of the two, and half the apostles enjoyed it, half thought it to be an inconvenience.
Breathing in the clear air, they all walked behind Jesus, following him. It was truly a time of peace, one that instilled safety and comfort. The wind slightly brushed past their cheeks, and the sun was long, long below the sky's atmosphere. However, the reason they never slipped or fell was because they were following the light of the world; hence, they had no reason to look down constantly, checking if their footpath was okay.
Eventually, two hundered meters had passed, and a bridge stood between them and the Garden of Gethsemane. They all walked across it, thinking about what type of crown they would have on their heads and what type of fine linen they would be clothed with. However, thoughts such as these would be extinguished shortly and momentarily be rekindled, though in a different manner.
Having crossed the bridge and finally arrived at their Master's desired place, Jesus called out to three of his disciples—
Jesus: "Peter, James, and John, come with me to pray."
The apostles batted not an eye; this usual trio was called up many times before and would probably happen many times thereafter. However, what was eye-catching was Jesus's facial expression.
His face was completely overwhelmed with grief, and he looked like he was on the verge of innumerable tears.
Though all were aware of this fact, they consoled him not, and all kept silent. The trio approached Jesus and followed him a little further into the Garden while the others waited at the entrance.
John: "Master…."
Though one voice hid itself not, and called out to his Master. He had wondered why he looked so depressed, so despondent, and asked: "Why do you,"
John: "Look so sad?"
Titling his neck slightly right, he answered in a weary tone.
Jesus: "My soul is overwhelmed with grief, grief that is indescribable or explainable. All that I ask of you, all that I ask of all three of you, is that you stay here, watch and pray with me,"
A religious thing to do, considering they were Jews and held to the Jewish beliefs - they thought it simple to pray.
Peter: "Lord, if that is what you require of us, we shall do."
Confidently spoken was Peter, who claimed he and the other two would act according to his Master's will. Surely, praying at this time is no troublesome task; certainly, they could do it.
Jesus: "Will you really, do this for me?"
Peter: "Yes, Lord, I would even lay down my life for you."
Such confidence was brewing in Peter's voice. His brazen attitude to Jesus's further inquiry was meant to console his sullen expression. Peter could be relied upon in his moment, and certainly, he could be relied upon in his last moments.
James: "How could we not, Lord!?"
Both of them assured Jesus that they would do this simple task when -
Jesus: "Very truly I tell you, one of you shall run away from me and one of you before dawn shall deny that they know me three times."
Looking into the future was no problem for Jesus Christ, so when he said "Very truly I tell you," he was stating nothing but the truth. However, his imitate closest friends would do something so detestable, something so disgraceful, and they both raised their voices and replied–
Peter and James: "GOD FORBID!!"
But Jesus countered them not; he was too weary, almost on the verge of breaking into a million pieces. His heart was almost shattered, and his love for these two was too great to start a dispute among them. Thus, looking downwards, he replied —
Jesus: "If you say so."
Drawing near to the end of the Garden, Jesus suddenly stopped and told his disciples to wait here, pray, and keep watch. He directed them to avoid any temptations that would occur, and he then went a little further into the Garden, alone.
???: "Who do you think you are?"
???: "It's impossible, utterly impossible for that [Thing] to take place."
???: "Do you think you're so sinless?
???: YOU ARE NO WHERE NEAR INNOCENT"
The silhouettes of the violent shadows surrounded the harmless man. Sweating so heavily, his heart racing, and with no strength to walk, he fell prostrate and prayed.