Inside the World Tree's lair, a group of plant-type chaos demon gods had gathered in a circle like a council of children deciding who got the biggest cookie.
At the center stood Star Tree, puffing out her chest, a tiny crown of starlight hovering above her leafy head. She cleared her throat dramatically.
"Ahem! Everyone, listen! As the saying goes—'a snake cannot live without a head, a bird cannot fly without wings.' Our boss, the great World Tree, has been gone for hundreds of epochs. Clearly…" she paused for effect, "…we need a new boss."
The other plant-lolis exchanged uneasy glances. Some fiddled with their roots, others stared at the floor.
"And who better," Star Tree declared, pointing to herself, "than me? The strongest and most reliable of us all!"
"Reliable?" muttered Demon Tree under her breath, twirling a pink petal in her fingers. "You cried for three days last time your leaves got chewed by a bug."
Star Tree's face turned red. "That was different! That bug was poisonous!"
"Mmhm," Demon Tree smirked.
Starlight Grass raised a hand shyly. "But shouldn't we… look for the boss first? Maybe she's still alive."
Star Tree slapped her hand down with a glare. "Alive? Ha! If she was alive, she'd be here. She must've been eaten. Or exploded. Or… eaten and exploded."
The other lolis gasped.
Meanwhile, in the shadows of the lair, Chen Xi (the supposedly dead boss) stood with Gu Chuan, fists trembling, face dark as storm clouds.
"…Eaten? Exploded? Are you kidding me?" she muttered furiously.
Gu Chuan glanced at her dryly. "They do seem pretty convinced you're gone. Not very loyal, are they?"
Chen Xi nearly burst a vein. "Not loyal?! They're already picking a replacement! I wasn't even gone long enough for weeds to grow over my spot!"
Gu Chuan gave a lazy shrug. "Well, technically, you are the World Tree. Weeds grow fast."
Chen Xi glared at him. "Not helping!"
Back in the circle, Star Tree was on a roll. "If you all support me as your new boss, I promise… bigger territories! More soil! Twice the chaotic loam rations!"
"Twice?" Starlight Grass's eyes sparkled. "Deal!"
"Wait—you traitor!" Chen Xi's face twisted. "She sold you for dirt?!"
"It's not just dirt," Gu Chuan whispered, lips twitching. "It's premium dirt."
"Ughhh!" Chen Xi wanted to scream.
Demon Tree crossed her arms, pretending to think hard. "Hmph. And what do I get?"
Star Tree immediately offered, "Extra sunlight. And I'll make sure nobody blocks your blossoms in spring."
Demon Tree tapped her chin. "…Alright. I support you."
"Unbelievable." Chen Xi facepalmed.
Within moments, the council turned into a flurry of betrayals and bribes. The Star Tree handed out land, loam, sunlight, and vague promises like candy. One by one, the lolis wavered, then bowed to her side.
"I see now," Chen Xi muttered. "These aren't my loyal subordinates. They're just soil-obsessed brats ready to sell me out for snacks!"
"Looks like your empire was built on compost," Gu Chuan deadpanned.
That was it. Chen Xi couldn't take another second. She stomped out of the shadows, appearing in front of the council.
"Enough!" she shouted.
Every loli froze.
"B-Boss?!" Starlight Grass's jaw dropped. "You're alive?!"
"I told you!" one of the smaller lolis cried. "I said we should wait!"
"No, no, I totally believed you were alive the whole time!" another loli lied instantly.
Demon Tree spun on Star Tree. "See? I knew you were rushing to steal the throne!"
"You liar!" Star Tree screeched. "You were just agreeing with me!"
Chen Xi's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Heh. So this is how it is. The moment I'm gone, you clowns start plotting behind my back? Star Tree! Care to explain?"
Star Tree swallowed hard, sweat beading on her forehead. "I-I-It's not what it looks like! I was… holding auditions! Yes, auditions for a temporary leader until you got back!"
"Oh really?" Chen Xi cracked her knuckles. "Then congratulations, you just failed the audition."
What followed was a one-sided beatdown that echoed through the lair like a thunderstorm. Petals flew. Roots cracked. Star Tree wailed dramatically as Chen Xi pummeled her with fists of fury.
By the end, Star Tree lay face-down in the dirt, black eye swelling, clutching Chen Xi's leg. "B-boss… I was wrong… forgive me…"
The other lolis immediately distanced themselves.
"It was all her fault!" Starlight Grass said quickly.
"Yeah, yeah, we had nothing to do with it!" Demon Tree added.
"She forced us!" chorused the others.
Chen Xi's eye twitched. "Unbelievable. A bunch of backstabbers the moment things get rough."
Before she could scold them further—
RUMBLE.
The ground shook violently. Cracks split the soil, and the walls of the lair trembled as if struck by a cosmic fist.
The lolis screamed, stumbling into each other.
"What's happening?!"
"Earthquake?!"
"No—it's worse!"
Gu Chuan stepped forward calmly, eyes gleaming. "Not an earthquake. We've got company. A big one."
Chen Xi's face paled. "…Already? I just got back!"
The chaos outside grew louder, the unmistakable aura of dozens of powerful demon gods pressing down on their lair.
The comedy died in an instant.
The boss had returned—just in time for war.