Hearing that ass-kissing greeting, Aus was in a great mood.
"Calling you out of the blue—am I interrupting anything?"
"How could that be?!?! A big shot like you contacting me is my honor~"
The Den Den Mushi's face perfectly captured Spandine's boot-licking, grinning expression.
This guy really had what it took to climb the ladder. No wonder the Five Elders loved using him.
But Aus wasn't calling to hear flattery. He'd heard the same shit countless times from girls in red-light districts.
"I'm calling about two things. First, I want to swap out the king and nobles of Duramos Kingdom and get it into the World Government alliance.
Oh, and
the kind that doesn't pay Heavenly Tribute."
Hearing Aus's words, Spandine's eyebrow shot up, feeling relieved.
He thought it was something major. Just changing a king...
"???"
Wait...
Spandine seemed to suddenly get it, his eyes instantly bulging like they'd pop out of the Den Den Mushi, mouth hanging open.
After a long moment, he finally recovered, speaking respectfully but nervously:
"This... this isn't something I can handle, Mr. Aus. This would definitely need to go up to the World Government's top brass..."
Spandine smiled apologetically, but inside he was losing his shit!
Everything else was whatever, but...
That legendary "Black Gun" Aus now wanted to become a member nation's king?!?!
Could the World Government's conference table really handle this walking disaster?!
"No, no, no..."
Aus waved his hand, then aimed the Den Den Mushi at Old Kik beside him.
This made the old man uncomfortable, not getting what Aus was up to.
"The guy who's really gonna be king is this one next to me."
"Huh?!?!"
Before Spandine could react, Old Kik jumped first, quickly backing away while babbling:
"How can you give this position to me... I'm just some old geezer..."
Aus found Old Kik's reaction hilarious, but didn't bother pushing, just speaking into the Den Den Mushi:
"The one becoming Duramos's new king is my most beloved Kik-chan, great pirate, former Rocks Pirates crew member—
Doctor Kik!!"
Aus proudly rattled off the old man's titles, straight-up stunning Spandine.
Though not as mind-blowing as Aus himself, this new king's three credentials seemed to get bigger with each one!
Especially that last one...
That was the uncrowned king of the previous era, the absolute madman who single-handedly tanked the combined might of the World Government, Marines, and Pirate King!!!
"If that's the case, I can draft an application myself, but it'd still need the Five Elders' approval..."
Spandine's voice got quieter as he spoke.
Aus got the gist—the next steps weren't something a lapdog of the top brass could decide.
If they refused because of Old Kik's background, or not paying Heavenly Tribute, or being wary of Aus, he hoped Aus wouldn't use him as a punching bag.
Spandine was basically saying being caught between Aus and the Five Elders put him in a tough spot too.
But Aus was clearly confident, grinning: "Don't sweat that. You just need to pass along one message when you submit the application."
"Please go ahead."
Spandine gulped.
"Tell them straight up: the World Government owes me a favor—I'm cashing it in now."
He knew the Five Elders couldn't possibly refuse. Duramos was already in New World waters.
Under the Great Pirate Era, the World Government's reach couldn't stretch there anyway, and their so-called protection was impossible.
Not paying Heavenly Tribute while not needing protection basically meant just wanting the World Government member nation title.
The real protection would actually come from Aus's infamous reputation spread across the seas!
As for why?
Aus figured it was mostly for shits and giggles.
In the future, they could legitimately attend the World Conference, and him and the old man—
one remnant from Roger's crew, one remnant from Rocks's crew, getting Marine protection to attend the World Conference.
Just thinking about that scene cracked him up!!!
The mental image alone made Aus want to laugh his ass off.
Other reasons?
It was setting up the old man and townspeople with long-term stability. At least for twenty years, this generation who'd looked after Aus would be set for life.
Even the village strays could get spots on the royal city patrol, eating government rations.
They wouldn't have wasted all those generations guarding the town.
What do you call this?
This is called:
When one person makes it big, even the chickens and dogs get to heaven.
...
Duramos, having gone through massive political upheaval, miraculously stabilized fast as hell.
This was thanks to Aus's sea-shaking presence and that string of bounty numbers scary enough to make your scalp crawl.
Didn't they see even World Government people had to slink away with their tails between their legs?
"Oh for fuck's sake, it's just taking the throne! How long you gonna keep stalling, old man!"
In the royal palace, Old Kik kept refusing to become king, just saying it wasn't right, he was too old, blah blah blah.
No matter how much the townspeople begged, he wouldn't budge, driving them crazy.
If you don't become king, how the hell do we become nobles?
"You guys... I think this position should stay with Aus. I'm ancient."
"Old man, I don't have time to be some king. I've still got seas to conquer~" Aus lied through his teeth, trying to convince Old Kik.
"You hold the spot for me first. When I get time later, I'll take over.
Plus you can pick wives from the whole country. No more sneaking around."
Truly the person who knew Old Kik best—with those words, the old man was clearly wavering.
If it was to build up assets for Aus, maybe this old fart could give it a shot...
Definitely not for anything like wives.
With thoughts like that, he really was getting swayed.
But he still declined awkwardly.
"Jesus, so fucking annoying."
Finally Aus lost his patience, snapped his fingers, and Old Kik's clothes instantly changed to royal gear, his whole body appearing on the throne.
Aus and Mihawk stood beside the throne, watching the residents fumble through bows, sharing a look and finding it amusing.
"You guys... damn it, I'm so old... you've really screwed me over!"
Old Kik tried to force down a grin he absolutely couldn't suppress, looking at Aus beside him providing backup, feeling warmth flood his chest.
Finally,
he'd gotten carried along after all!
Cultivation King Old Kik thought to himself.
~~~~❃❃~~~~~~~~❃❃~~~~
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