Chapter 127: Rosalia's Tail!...So Cold, So Smooth...
[As the Captain stood frozen in shock, the delivery person nonchalantly presented their order:
"One Stargazy Pie! One Kaslana Special Flavorful Soup! Four Ultra-Realistic Potted Plant Cakes!
Please confirm your order!"
Why did I just hear a surname that should never be associated with cooking... Though visibly concerned, the angel calmly accepted the "delicacies" and handed one portion to the Captain. The Captain hesitated while staring at the unidentifiable object in their hands. Charred, lifeless pastry crust pierced by multiple sardine heads with unblinking dead eyes... This abomination shall never enter my stomach. The Captain thought decisively. I'll die! Eating this would absolutely kill me! The Captain screamed internally.]
[March 7th]: "Can this...really be considered food?"
March 7th felt the dead-eyed sardines from the Stargazy Pie staring into her soul.
[Stelle]: "...I'd rather drink coffee."
[Elysia]: "I remember Kevin could cook decently? Why are Kaslana dishes like this♪"
[Mobius]: "Have you forgotten whose genes got mixed into that little follower's DNA?"
[Mei]: "......"
[Raiden Mei]: "Kiana...let's agree you should stay out of kitchens."
Not that they'd normally let Kiana near one anyway.
[Detecting the sardine aroma, Kiana misinterpreted Mei's reaction as hunger and generously offered her a Stargazy Pie. North Star Mei unflinchingly accepted and ate the entire pie in one bite.
Seeing Mei apparently unharmed, the Captain reconsidered - perhaps this was like stinky tofu, foul-smelling but delicious. Maybe they'd misjudged the angel. Before the Captain could finish this thought, Mei collapsed foaming at the mouth. "Speechless from emotion, huh...I had the same reaction when I first tasted this amazing pie."
This has nothing to do with emotion! The Captain instantly became the straight man. The prepared Captain watched in horror as they finished the entire meal.]
[Raiden Mei]: "The Kaslana soup actually uses Honkai beasts as ingredients!?"
[Bronya Zaychik]: "Idiot Rosalia, if you knew they were real potted plants why did you eat them!?"
[March 7th]: "The Captain's about to go full straight man - are all Kaslana dishes like Himeko's coffee?"
[Elysia]: "Actually Kevin's cooking isn't bad, especially his noodles! At least homecooked meal level♪"
[Su]: "I can confirm Kevin's culinary skills are acceptable."
[Honkai Star Rail Welt]: "I suspect only Kaslanas can stomach Kaslana cooking."
[After their "meal," they finally remembered their mission. Rosalia and Liliya coordinated - Rosalia executed a super headbutt against Excalibur's pedestal!
BOOM! The stone pedestal shattered instantly. "Just as predicted - obtaining Excalibur doesn't necessarily require 'pulling it out.'"
But their brilliant plan overlooked one detail - they were on a cliffside. The impact fractured the cliff face. Both the Captain and Rosalia went tumbling over the edge. At the critical moment, the Captain grabbed onto something long and slender. "Eh? This texture...cold and smooth...is this..."
"Let go, Captain! Don't grab my tail!"
Rosalia's face burned crimson.]
[March 7th]: "Ah! Captain, you—"
[Stelle]: "Damn it, let me do it instead!!"
[Rosalia]: "How did this happen!? Rosalia's tail got grabbed by Captain!?"
[Liliya]: "Rosalia's tail is very sensitive!"
[Seele]: "Captain deserves ten thousand deaths for this!!!"
[Eh? Rosalia? The Captain looked up. "Idiot! Don't look up!"
Rosalia's face turned even redder. "But how else am I supposed to climb up without looking!?"
"Then...then climb with your eyes closed!"
"Stop making impossible demands!
Rosalia stop squirming - I'll fall!"
"Maybe Captain should just fall then!" "Rosalia, Captain! Are you alright...apologies for interrupting."
Liliya peered over the cliff edge, observing their "flirtatious squabble" with amusement. Still rational, the Captain urged Liliya to rescue them first. "I never knew Rosalia could make such adorable embarrassed expressions."
Liliya clearly enjoyed the spectacle. Soon, both were safely pulled up.]
[March 7th]: "I'm starting to think Captain's a lolicon! First Star Observer, now Rosalia."
[Stelle]: "Nonsense! Current Star Observer is like Theresa - completely legal now!"
[Theresa]: "?"
[Liliya]: "Rosalia's flustered face was truly precious."
[Rosalia]: "Liliya!"
Real-life Rosalia mirrored her counterpart's blush.
[Bronya Zaychik]: "Fortunately it was genuinely accidental, otherwise Bronya would seriously question Captain's preferences."
[Rescued and now holding Excalibur, the group prepared to report to the Hero King when Liliya noticed something alarming - the angel had disappeared. Returning to the kingdom's conference room, they found the angel already waiting behind Fu Hua.
Having passed the trials, the Hero King officially enlisted them into the hero's party.]
[March 7th]: "Finally passed the trials, though both challenges felt like comedy sketches."
[Silver Wolf]: "Something feels off about Angel Kiana."
[Raiden Mei]: "Her guilt is practically overflowing - this is exactly how Kiana acts when she messes up."
[Stelle]: "As expected of Mei1!"
[Once the Hero King left, Kiana instantly dropped her act, one of her luminous wings morphing into Void Lances. "Phew...thank goodness she didn't notice!"
"Don't worry Angel-sama.
Our makeup techniques learned from Mama are flawless - the Hero King would never know."
Liliya reassured. "Normal people don't apply makeup to wings though..."
The Captain found too many absurdities to properly吐槽.]
[Kiana]: "Why do I have spikes growing from my back!?"
[Herrscher of the Void]: "Why are my eyes blue!?"
[Herrscher of the Void]: "And those aren't spikes! They're Void Lances!"
[Several hours earlier when the Captain first found the angel, she was rolling on the ground having an emotional breakdown. Returning in this state meant guaranteed extra training - the angel was thoroughly terrified.
Kiana desperately denied everything, insisting this was completely normal! "You look just like...a fallen angel!"
The twins teased in unison. Cornered, Kiana finally confessed through gritted teeth:
The commotion from pulling Excalibur had alerted the higher gods, exposing Kiana's earthly lifestyle of sleeping at 3AM, waking at 10AM, surviving on takeout with zero exercise... "So you're just a lazy angel!?"
The Captain deadpanned.]
[Qingque]: "Oh no, Kiana just described my vacation lifestyle!"
[Sushang]: "...That sounds like me too."
[Stelle]: "Turns out we're all lazy angels! Damn angel brats! This Galaxy Ranger will teach you a lesson!"
[Bronya Zaychik]: "...Very on-brand for Kiana."