The Adventurer's Guild hall was bustling as usual. Swords clinked against armored hips, the scent of roasted meat mixed with ale drifted in from the tavern section, and adventurers bragged loudly about their kills.
Li Ming, however, was sweating bullets.
Okay, Ming, calm down. First quest. Just grab something easy, like… herbs. Mushrooms. Slimes. Something that won't stab me in the gut.
He stood before the quest board, staring at the hundreds of parchment notices. Zhao Yun'er leaned close, her big eyes sparkling.
"Leader, which quest are we taking?"
Han Wei stood silently behind them, arms crossed, towering like a wall. He said nothing, but his quiet presence somehow pressured Li Ming into looking decisive.
Li Ming cleared his throat, puffed his chest out, and pointed at a paper stuck slightly crooked on the corner.
"This one," he announced confidently. "It seems… efficient."
Yun'er plucked the notice off the board and read aloud:
"Subjugation request. Target: Goblin Nest near Redthorn Forest. Reward: 50 silver coins."
Her face lit up. "Wow! Our leader is bold! Starting off strong!"
Han Wei nodded. "As expected."
Li Ming's brain froze.
Wait, wait, wait. Did she just say… goblin nest? As in, a nest? Not one goblin. A nest. Like… fifty? A small army? This isn't a quest. This is an early death certificate with a cash prize attached.
He forced out a laugh that sounded more like a cough.
"Of course! I believe in… challenging ourselves. Pressure creates diamonds, after all!"
Yun'er clapped. "Amazing! You even think about our growth as adventurers."
Han Wei's respect-filled stare practically drilled into the back of his head.
Growth? Lady, the only thing that's going to grow is my tombstone collection.
The receptionist glanced at the paper, then at the three of them. "Uh, you do know this is a subjugation quest meant for Bronze-ranked parties, right?"
Li Ming snapped his fingers like a confident chess master. "Exactly. That's why we'll succeed where others failed."
Please let someone stop me. Please let them revoke the quest. Please—
"Very well," the receptionist said hesitantly, stamping their guild card. "Good luck… you'll need it."
-----
The trio left the capital at noon, sunlight pouring over cobblestone streets that eventually gave way to dirt roads. Li Ming tried to act as though he were leading a military campaign.
"Remember, strategy is the soul of victory," he declared, raising his hand dramatically.
Yun'er hummed happily beside him, carrying her staff like it was a walking stick. "Yes, Leader!"
Han Wei followed silently, his huge sword strapped across his back.
Okay, Ming, think. If I keep talking nonsense, maybe they'll think I know what I'm doing. And if they think I know what I'm doing, maybe they'll make decisions for me. Perfect survival plan.
He pointed at a fork in the road. "We'll take the left path. It's… obviously safer."
Unbeknownst to him, the right path had a pack of hungry wolves prowling it. By sheer dumb luck, his random choice avoided disaster.
Yun'er gasped. "Leader knew the wolves were there! Incredible foresight!"
Han Wei gave a rare grunt of approval.
Li Ming almost tripped. Wait, there were wolves? WHAT?! No, no, Ming, play it cool. He adjusted his collar.
"Of course. Wolves are predictable. I sensed their aura from here."
Yun'er's eyes sparkled. Han Wei's respect somehow deepened.
Aura? I can't even sense when my stomach's empty until it growls. How do I keep accidentally sounding smart?
-----
Redthorn Forest lived up to its name. Jagged red vines twisted around the trees, thorns glinting like tiny daggers. The air was damp, filled with the stench of wet moss.
They found the cave soon enough—dark, foul-smelling, and littered with crude goblin totems.
Li Ming swallowed. "Well… here it is. Their nest."
Yun'er bounced on her heels, clearly nervous but excited. Han Wei silently drew his sword, the blade glinting in the dim light.
Li Ming crept forward, pretending to "scout." Just peek and leave. That's survival. No shame in retreat. We can tell the guild the goblins were too many. Done.
He stepped on a rock.
The rock rolled.
He slipped, flailing like a drunk chicken, and crashed into the entrance with a loud THUD.
From inside the cave came shrill shrieks. Goblins poured out, ugly green things with jagged teeth, carrying clubs and rusted blades.
Li Ming's soul left his body. I DIDN'T MEAN TO START A WAR. I JUST WANTED TO PEEK!
But the goblins, startled by his dramatic entrance, started bickering among themselves, screeching and shoving.
"Now!" Han Wei shouted, charging forward. His massive sword swung in a wide arc. One, two, three goblins were cut down instantly.
Yun'er panicked and raised her staff. "Fireball!"
The glowing orb of flame shot out—completely missing the goblins—and smacked into a tree. The tree toppled over, squashing three goblins flat.
Li Ming scrambled behind the fallen trunk, clutching his dagger. Okay, Ming, stay here. Let them do the work. You're the brains. Brains don't need to be skewered.
The goblins regrouped, shrieking war cries. One spotted Li Ming and rushed him with a rusty spear.
"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Li Ming screamed, flailing his dagger wildly. By pure chance, he tripped, and the dagger plunged into the goblin's throat as he fell face-first into the dirt.
Blood sprayed. The goblin collapsed.
Yun'er gasped. "Leader! You used yourself as bait to lure the goblin into a fatal strike!"
Han Wei decapitated another goblin and nodded solemnly. "Ingenious."
Li Ming's brain short-circuited. BAIT?! I WAS TRYING NOT TO DIE!
The battle turned chaotic. Goblins rushed blindly. Han Wei cut them down with terrifying efficiency. Yun'er's wild magic misfired so often that she somehow caused chain reactions—burning bushes toppled over more goblins, ricocheting light bolts stunned them in groups.
And Li Ming? He stumbled, tripped, and flailed so much that every goblin that came near him ended up dead by sheer misfortune—stabbed, crushed, or set on fire by Yun'er's spells.
By the time the dust settled, the cave was silent except for the crackle of fire. Dozens of goblin corpses littered the ground.
-----
Li Ming collapsed against the trunk of a tree, chest heaving. I'm alive. I'm actually alive. I should be dead twenty times over, but I'm alive. Maybe I really am a genius? No. Don't get cocky, Ming. That way lies an early grave.
Yun'er ran up, eyes shining like stars. "Leader, that was incredible! You used yourself as bait, then predicted my spells would create a chain reaction, then guided Han Wei to finish them off! Truly, a masterpiece of strategy!"
Han Wei gave a firm nod. "I have fought many battles. None were so… precise. You have my respect."
Li Ming stared at them blankly. What the hell are you two smoking? Precise? Bait? Strategy? I was a screaming pancake waiting to be eaten!
But he forced a confident smirk, wiping imaginary dust from his shoulder.
"Of course. I told you, strategy is the soul of victory. Every move was calculated."
Yun'er clasped her hands to her chest. "We're so lucky to have you as our leader."
Han Wei's silent nod was enough to make Li Ming want to cry.
-----
When they returned to the Adventurer's Guild, battered but alive, the receptionist nearly dropped her quill.
"You… you actually cleared the goblin nest?!"
She rushed off, and soon the guild hall was buzzing. Adventurers whispered and pointed.
"That rookie party? They cleared that nest?"
"No way. That strategist must be a monster."
"I heard he used himself as bait to control the battlefield. Genius!"
Li Ming's face twitched. Why does everyone think I enjoy being bait?!
The receptionist handed over their reward with trembling hands. "Fifty silver… and… the guild master wants to meet you soon. Your tactics are being… talked about."
Yun'er beamed. Han Wei's stoic silence practically radiated respect.
Li Ming, meanwhile, smiled weakly while his inner voice screamed.
Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. My reputation's growing. People are going to expect more genius strategies. But I don't HAVE any! I'm just a terrified idiot with good luck! This is going to end so badly…
Yet another adventurer passed by, whispering: "That's the new genius strategist."
And just like that, Li Ming's nightmare—his legend—had begun.
.
.