I woke up in a bed that definitely wasn't mine.
For one thing, it was soft. Like, cloud-soft. My real bed back home had springs that stabbed me in the kidneys every night like they were trying to assassinate me. This one, however, smelled faintly of lavender and expensive laundry detergent.
Which was concerning, because the last thing I remembered was passing out in front of my laptop after watching five hours of anime and stress-eating instant ramen. Unless Amazon had started delivering full medieval bedrooms with free shipping, something was very, very wrong.
"Good morning, young master."
I froze. Slowly, I turned my head.
Standing beside the bed was a man straight out of a dating sim: tall, broad-shouldered, silver hair neatly tied back, wearing a perfectly tailored black suit. A butler. Not a cosplayer. Not an actor. A real butler.
"…Did I die?" I croaked.
His smile was professional and unnervingly sharp. "You were found unconscious in the royal gardens. Please refrain from collapsing so dramatically next time."
Okay. So I wasn't in my apartment anymore. That meant one of three things:
1. Kidnapped by eccentric billionaires with a thing for Victorian roleplay.
2. I actually died and this was the afterlife.
3. …Oh no. No no no. Don't say it.
I'd been isekai'd.
"Young master?" The butler tilted his head, looking politely concerned.
"Nothing," I said quickly, sitting up. Bad idea. My head spun. The room was spinning too, like someone had cranked the motion blur filter too high. "Just… y'know. Existential crisis. Normal stuff."
The butler didn't even blink. He just placed a hand on his chest, bowed, and said, "My name is Elias. I will be your attendant from this day forth."
From this day forth? Oh, hell. That sounded permanent.
"Uh. Cool. Nice to meet you, Elias." I tried to sound casual, but it came out more like: ohgodohgodwhat.
Before I could ask anything else, the door slammed open with the subtlety of a car crash.
"WHO DISTURBED THE YOUNG MASTER'S REST?!"
A man in full armor charged in, sword drawn. His golden hair practically glowed in the sunlight like he was auditioning for a shampoo commercial. His jawline could've cut diamonds. His armor was so shiny I could see my dumbfounded reflection in it.
I blinked. "Okay. What fresh Final Fantasy nonsense is this?"
"Young master!" the knight barked, dropping to one knee so dramatically I half-expected him to start reciting Shakespeare. "Are you unharmed? Did anyone dare touch you?!"
"Um." I pointed weakly at Elias. "The butler said good morning."
The knight's eyes narrowed. "You dare address the young master without permission?"
Elias, to his credit, didn't even flinch. He just smoothed his gloves and replied, "Unlike some, I don't barge into rooms like a wild beast."
"Oh my god," I muttered. "They're already fighting."
Before the knight could lunge at Elias, a third person stumbled into the room—a boy my age, maybe younger, dressed in servant clothes two sizes too big. He tripped over the carpet, dropped the tray he was holding, and scrambled to pick up the pieces while stammering apologies.
"I-I'm sorry, young master! I was just bringing your breakfast! Please forgive me, I'll accept any punishment—"
I held up both hands. "Dude. Chill. It's just toast."
He froze mid-panic. Slowly, his eyes filled with tears. "Young master… you're so kind…"
I groaned. "Please don't cry. I can't handle crying people before caffeine."
This was fine. Everything was fine.
Except it wasn't, because then the door slammed open again.
"What is all this noise?!"
Enter: Prince.
I didn't need him to introduce himself. He had the aura. Tall, flawless skin, silk clothes, jeweled sword at his hip, a glare so sharp it could cut glass. His expression screamed tsundere in bold capital letters.
His eyes locked on me. "You. Commoner. Why are you in my chambers?"
"First of all," I said, raising a finger, "rude. Second of all, I literally just woke up here, third of all—"
But before I could finish, Elias smoothly interjected: "Your Highness, this is the new young master entrusted to our household. I suggest you show him proper respect."
The knight stood too, glaring at the prince like he'd just insulted his mom. The servant sniffled behind me, still holding half a piece of toast.
The prince's eyes narrowed. "Entrusted to our household…? Hmph." He stalked toward me, looming far too close. "You look pathetic. Weak. Helpless. Absolutely unsuited for this world."
"Wow," I said flatly. "Do you flirt with everyone like this, or am I special?" I said sarcastically but.. They thought I was being for real.
Silence.
The prince froze. The knight gasped. The servant dropped the toast again. Elias covered his mouth to hide what was either a cough or a laugh.
Then the prince's ears went red. Bright red.
"I—WHA—NO—!!" He pointed at me like I'd just committed treason. "How dare you suggest such a thing! As if I would ever—! YOU—!!"
"Oh my god," I whispered as the prince became dramatic as hell.
And that's how my first hour in this new world ended: with the prince storming out in a flustered rage, the knight swearing to protect me with his life, the servant crying about my "kindness," and the butler looking far too entertained by all of it.
I had no money, no job, no clue how I got here.
But apparently, I had a harem forming whether I liked it or not.
And worst of all?
I still hadn't had breakfast.