If there's one thing scarier than demons, curses, and ritual bulls made of rave lightning… it's corporate sponsors.
And tonight, we had one.
---
"Remember, Elias," Seraphina said sweetly, fixing her witch hat in the mirror. "Smile. Say the brand name at least three times. And no swearing."
I stared at the can in my hand. HellFuel Energy – 'Unleash the Infernal Grind!' The logo was literally a flaming skull giving a thumbs-up.
"You're seriously doing a live collab with THIS?" I asked.
She beamed. "They offered triple the rate of normal ads. Besides—'HellFuel' is trending among mortals. The kids love it."
"Pretty sure it's illegal in at least seven countries," I muttered, flipping the can to read the fine print. Ingredients included caffeine, taurine, and something labeled only as "??? essence." Comforting.
---
We went live.
The chat immediately erupted.
> [CHAT]
"LMAOOO is she seriously shilling hell juice 💀"
"WAIT SHE SOLD OUT???"
"nvm i'm buying a case rn"
"CAMERAMAN DON'T DRINK IT BRO"
Seraphina raised her can elegantly, eyes glowing faintly crimson. "My beloved followers… tonight, we bring you the taste of eternal power. HellFuel!"
She sipped gracefully. Sparks danced across her lips. The chat spammed fire emojis.
Then she shoved a can into my hand.
"Your turn, Elias."
---
I hesitated. The can hissed in my grip like it was alive. "Do I have to?"
"Yes. Sponsors demand engagement. And your suffering sells."
The chat spammed:
> [CHAT]
"DO IT DO IT DO IT"
"rip cameraman 💀💀💀"
"nah he's invincible he'll survive this too"
Sighing, I cracked it open and took a cautious sip.
The taste? Imagine Red Bull, battery acid, and spicy ramen broth had a child. My stomach flipped. My vision blurred. The world tilted sideways.
And then—BOOM.
The rooftop shook as the ritual circle from last time lit up on its own.
A red portal tore open behind us. Clawed hands, burning eyes. Something was trying to crawl through.
Chat went nuclear.
> [CHAT]
"BRO THE SPONSORSHIP SUMMONED DEMONS 💀"
"HELLFUEL IS LITERALLY HELL"
"THIS IS NOT BRAND SAFE"
"Perfect!" Seraphina clapped her hands, delighted. "Unexpected escalation always boosts engagement!"
"Boost THIS!" I yelled, dodging a flaming claw swipe while keeping the camera steady.
---
The demons poured out—greasy, skeletal things with cans of HellFuel strapped to their spines like life support.
One lunged for me. My foot slipped on a puddle of spilled energy drink—sending me tumbling backward just out of reach. The demon clawed air.
Another hurled a can like a grenade. It bounced off a pipe, ricocheted, and exploded in its own face.
Chat was losing their minds.
> [CHAT]
"THE LUCK IS CRAZY AGAIN 😭😭😭"
"HE JUST SLIPPED INTO SAFETY???"
"THIS MAN IS BULLETPROOF"
Meanwhile, I was crawling on my elbows, camera somehow still steady, as if my hands had a death grip.
One last demon roared and charged. I panicked, threw my half-empty can at it—
—and the thing tripped, impaled itself on the rooftop antenna, then dissolved into ash.
The chat exploded.
> [CHAT]
"BRO KILLED A DEMON WITH A PRODUCT PLACEMENT"
"THIS IS THE BEST AD CAMPAIGN EVER"
"HELLFUEL NEEDS TO HIRE CAMERAMAN AS SPOKESMAN"
---
When the portal finally closed, Seraphina casually sipped her drink and smiled at the camera. "And that, my dear viewers, is the true taste of infernal sponsorship."
I was lying flat on my back, chest heaving, camera pointed perfectly at her.
She leaned closer, whispered just loud enough for chat to hear: "Elias… maybe it's not luck. Maybe you really can't die."
The can fizzled in my hand like it was laughing at me.