Joyce walked in quietly and sat close to Johnson.
"How are you feeling?" she asked, holding his fingers and giving them a light squeeze.
"Nothing much. I cannot feel anything anyway. If anything, I am just nervous about meeting my other teammates who already finished their training," Johnson said, turning his face away to look out the window.
"I do not think it will be that bad. You will be fine," Joyce said, patting his back.
"So why did you come to meet me?" Johnson asked, finally turning to face Joyce. His eyes gleamed with affection.
"Nothing much. I just came to ask how my trainee is feeling and if he will be ready for the final test today," Joyce said, still squeezing his fingers.
"Oh, the final test." Johnson sighed. "Well, let me get something to eat so I can return to our usual spot."
"No, it is not physical. It is more intellectual. Do not worry. When we meet up with the others, it will be announced," Joyce said, patting his head.
"Hey, Joyce… can I tell you something?" Johnson asked.
"Yeah, go ahead." Joyce tilted her head to the side, confused, her eyes locked on him.
"I am sorry if I sounded harsh or rude. If I said things I was not meant to say last night, or if I sounded pathetic," Johnson said, his gaze lowering. "I do not deserve friends, happiness, love, or even emotions to begin with. But you have treated me kindly. I must respect your opinion, and I must tell you what I truly feel about myself." He paused, then looked back at her.
"What do you feel if you are not self seeking, not self loving, not craving attention, or not just self conscious?" Joyce asked, annoyance creeping into her voice.
"I feel nothing for myself. I feel nothing but a burning passion of hatred, hotter than any star and deeper than any ocean. I hate myself!" Johnson declared, his voice trembling yet fierce.
"I hate myself so much I could choke on my own hatred. Self confidence? Self love? Seeking attention? Do not make me laugh. I only do things because I choose to do them, without ever valuing myself to begin with," Johnson said, his tone dripping with bitterness.
He began pacing about the room, his aura glowing with restless energy. "I want to kill myself. I want to stab myself in the throat again and again, but each time I try, this cursed watch keeps me alive. I have no sense of self. I do not value myself to the lowest degree, because there is nothing worth valuing in the first place. So do not dare think I am seeking attention or acting for some personal motive."
He let out a heavy sigh, finally sitting back down on the bed. Joyce sat silently, overwhelmed by his sudden outburst of raw emotion.
"I feel your frustration, and I understand it," Joyce finally said, her voice soft but firm. "But self loathing is not healthy. It eats at your mind, and whatever poisons the mind will poison your ability as well."
"So the solution is to have no emotions at all?" Johnson asked, staring at her.
"Well, that is…" Joyce hesitated.
"You are right. Maybe you are right. You are so right!" Johnson shouted suddenly, his body pulsing with energy.
"John, that is not what—" Joyce tried to speak, but he cut her off.
"Thank you very much for this wonderful idea," Johnson said with a bright and almost hopeful expression. "I will not love myself, but I will try not to get attached to anyone. That way, I will not feel pain when I lose them. And I will stop saying things that bring sadness to myself or to those around me."
"You know… you will have to open up to people in the future," Joyce said gently as she rose to her feet.
"I have something else to say!" Johnson quickly reached out, holding her fingers.
"Thank you for everything you have done. I am glad you did not come to hate me. You trained me, and I would not have grown stronger without you," Johnson said as he slowly stood.
"We are leaving soon," Joyce said quietly as she turned to the door.
"Yeah, we should leave soon. I want to take a shower first… and I would love to eat too," Johnson teased, forcing a faint smile.
"Of course you would love to eat," Joyce said, pausing at the door. She turned back, her gaze softening as she reached out and patted his snow white hair. "Love yourself, alright?"
"I cannot… but I appreciate your concern," Johnson replied, watching her leave the room.
A few hours later, the scene shifted to De Great Labs. The elite students and the Beta students stood gathered, their voices overlapping in chatter. Their appearances had changed. Many of them had grown taller, sharper, and more mature, bearing the marks of training and transformation.