'Psst. Hey,' a leaf said. 'The Guy likes Diantha better than you.'
'Does not,' I retorted.
'Hey, hey,' a rock said by my foot. 'Want a sweet, juicy rumor?'
'Only if it's sweet and juicy,' I told it. So the rock became a rumor, and I bit into it. It tasted like fortitude test mix.
'Eugh, gross,' I said.
'Pex likes cocoffee. So do humans,' the rest of the rumor said. 'She's a way better human than you'll ever be.'
'Shut up!' I punted it across the sea.
A single drop of rumor juice hung in the air. 'You like the Guy better with his armor on, don't you? He gets you just right with that manly exosuit,' it said.
'So what,' I shot back. 'Metal's nice and solid! You wouldn't get it.'
'Get it,' it echoed. Now annoyed, I kicked it out of the air and it exploded in a burst of snow.
Then an oversized feather appeared by my foot. 'You know,' it said, 'you're not a bird.'
'I know that,' I snapped, kicking at it. 'Tell me something I don't know.'
'You know,' the oversized feather repeated, 'you're not a bird.' Then it turned into snow and sploffed into my face.
'Remember what ### said that one time,' the sun said. 'You're a bug.'
My antennae twitched. 'Shut up,' I yelled. 'I'm a Shurikit!'
'Shut down,' the sun replied. Then it became a snowball, and the sky turned from purple to white.
'This sucks.' I climb back into my cocoon. 'I hate snow.'