I was minding my own business, happily sipping a perfectly brewed cup of instant coffee behind the counter, when Mirae stormed in like a hurricane.
"Han. Seok."
Never a good start.
"What did I do this time?" I asked, already bracing.
She slapped a flyer down on the counter. It was crudely drawn, the ink smudged, but the words were clear:
"Beware the Fake Shop! This store dilutes potions with toilet water! Only trust the honorable Golden Lantern Convenience!"
There was even a drawing of me holding a plunger. My smile was way too realistic.
I choked on my coffee.
"Toilet water?! Who even, why would anyone think I have time to dip bottles in a toilet?"
Mirae glared.
"The other dungeon shop is spreading this, obviously. Customers are already whispering. Half of today's adventurers didn't even buy snacks!"
That was serious.
My adventurer customers ran on instant noodles and caffeine. If even they were skipping snacks, things were dire.
As if on cue, the door banged open and in marched the Goblin Coupon Gang. This time, they wore fake detective hats and had magnifying glasses.
"Boss!" Globby announced proudly, slapping the counter. "We investigated the rumor!"
"And?" I asked.
He leaned closer, lowering his voice dramatically.
"It came... from your toilet."
Mirae groaned.
"Not helping."
Globby grinned.
"Don't worry, boss! We made new coupons to fight the lies!"
He shoved a pile at me. The first one read:
"Buy 1 Potion, Get 1 Free Toilet Flush!"
The second:
"100% Toilet-Water-Free Guarantee!"
(with a doodle of me giving a thumbs up while standing next to a toilet with a halo).
I buried my face in my hands.
"This is worse than the rumor."
But the goblins proudly scattered the coupons across the shop, slipping them into adventurer bags and even pasting them on the front window.
By the end of the day, things only got worse:
A fake delivery slip sent me chasing halfway across the dungeon to a "customer" that didn't exist. (I carried a bag of spicy chips for three hours before realizing I'd been tricked.)
A pack of dungeon wolves just happened to ambush me on the way back. I swear they were bribed with jerky.
Three adventurers loudly argued outside the store that I "smelled like a bathroom." (Mirae kicked them out.)
By closing time, I was exhausted, furious and maybe 10% convinced that someone had been sneaking around my toilet.
Just as I was cleaning up, the air shimmered and Dungeon appeared. This time, it was holding a clipboard, looking far too casual for the chaos outside.
"Ah, yes." she said cheerfully, as if commenting on the weather. "Your rival has finally decided to stop playing nice. Sabotage is step one. Next, they'll try force."
"Gee, thanks for the heads-up." I muttered. "Could've used that about... twelve fake delivery tickets ago."
It tilted it's head.
"But then you wouldn't grow stronger."
Mirae threw her rag at Dungeon's face.
"Do you enjoy watching him suffer?!"
Dungeon peeled the rag off and smiled innocently.
"Maybe."
I sighed, collapsing into my chair.
"So what now? Keep selling noodles and hoping no one believes the toilet rumor?"
Dungeon's smile sharpened.
"Or... you know, fight back. You're closer to something very interesting. Keep this up and you may force my shop to evolve."
It vanished in a flash of light, leaving only the faint smell of ozone.
End of Day Balance
• Points Balance: 1,365
• Deliveries Completed: 0 (fake one doesn't count, apparently)
• Coupon Chaos: 47 coupons handed out, 0 redeemed, 12 stuck to my back without me noticing.