[A Certain Train's Trash King]: Brothers, quick question. What happens if a man gets... completely drained? Any way to recover quickly? Asking for a friend.
The message instantly blew up the group chat.
[A Certain Hyperion's King of Slacking]: Define "drained." Is it the kind of "drained" I'm thinking of?
[A Certain Teyvat Blondie]: Whoa, did another one of us finally lose their V-card? I'm not salty! Why am I still single when I'm this handsome?!
[A Certain Savior of Human Order]: Dude, how are you so fast? I'm just getting started over here and you're already hitting home runs?
[A Certain Video Store Owner]: So jealous! So envious! I'll stab you, I'll stab you, I'll stab you! Tell us who it was!
[A Certain Train's Trash King]: Uh, it was the big Herta. Oh, you guys probably don't know who that is. She's Herta's real body. A super cute and bewitching beauty. [BigHerta.jpg]
[A Certain King of Kivotos]: Holy crap, the big Herta is that hot?! Wait, just one of her drained you? You're an Emanator of Preservation, dude.
[A Certain Mankind's Strongest Martial Arts Genius]: Yeah, you can't even handle one woman? Are you sure you're okay?
[A Certain Train's Trash King]: It wasn't just one! It was like, a dozen of them! And they're all puppets, they don't have stamina limits! I only survived because of my Preservation powers.
[A Certain Strongest Demon Lord]: What's it like to be drained? Sorry, can't relate. I can make even robots shut down.
[A Certain Ark's Succubus]: Whoa, a beautiful girl and an army of sex-droids? That's intense. You okay, bro? If you are, send us the video. For research.
[A Certain Soul Player Aspiring to be the King of Games]: Yeah, we just want to see... the performance. And what it's like with the puppets. Is it a shared sensory experience?
[A Certain Little Red Cap Destined to be a Chick Magnet]: 666, you guys are wild. But I'm honest, I'm just horny. I want to watch the next episode.
[A Certain Most Hype Pokémon Trainer]: You haven't even conquered the main heroine yet and you're already on the Herta route? Hmm, I've never tried that playthrough before. Maybe I should...
[A Certain DFO's Salted Fish]: FML, I'm so jealous. Why do you guys get all the girls, and I just get screwed over? I just got tricked by a manhole cover yesterday. This Ghostblade life is suffering.
[A Certain Train's Trash King]: Stop, I'm already dead! And now I'm worried March is going to find out. If she does, my harem route is finished!
[A Certain Ark's Succubus]: Don't worry, Makoto-kun is watching over you from the heavens. At worst, it's just a nice boat. You're an Emanator of Preservation, you can survive a few stab wounds.
[A Certain Train's Trash King]: Screw you!
---||---
The next afternoon, Mo Wang emerged from his room, clutching his back. An Emanator of Preservation, nearly drained dry by an army of Hertas. It was a close call.
As he crept out of his room, he looked around, relieved to see no one. But then, a voice came from behind him.
"Mo Wang, are you okay?"
March 7th was looking at him with concern. "I heard from one of Herta's puppets that she took you to her lab for experiments. Are you hurt? What happened to you?"
He froze. Wait, she doesn't know?
"You... didn't hear anything last night?"
"Hear what? I came looking for you this morning, but her puppet said you were busy. I looked all over the station for you. What did she do to you?"
She soundproofed March's room?! Herta, you magnificent bastard! My harem route is saved!
His mind racing, he threw himself at her feet, sobbing. "March! I've been through so much!"
"Wh-What happened?!"
"You have no idea!" he wailed, clinging to her leg. "Herta... she's a monster! She locked me in her lab all night, running experiments on me! Energy extraction, stamina depletion, mental torture... she drained me completely! She threatened to throw me into the void to feed the star-beasts if I didn't cooperate! I... I almost never saw you again!"
"What?!" March's eyes blazed with fury. "That psycho! I'm going to go teach her a lesson!" She turned to storm off, but he grabbed her, collapsing weakly into her arms.
"Don't! You can't beat her! I don't want you to get hurt because of me!"
"But... but I can't just let her do this to you! You're my partner!"
He looked up at her with pitiful, tear-filled eyes. "Just hearing you say that makes it all worth it... You know, my greatest wish is just to live a peaceful life with you. Every time I see you smile, I feel like all the pain is worth it..."
"D-Don't say things like that!" she stammered, a blush creeping up her cheeks. "We're partners, we're supposed to look out for each other!"
"March... there's something I've been wanting to tell you for a long time. I... I like you. I'm always so happy when I'm with you. But I was afraid to say anything, because I didn't want to ruin our friendship."
She was stunned, her face turning bright red. "Wh-What? You like me? Are you sure the experiments didn't mess with your head?"
"I'm serious," he said, his voice soft and sincere. "I like you, March. I know I'm not good enough for you, but I had to tell you. Even if you reject me, I just want to stay by your side, to protect you..."
"Stop... stop talking! I... I need to think!"
"It's okay," he said with a gentle smile. "Take all the time you need. I'll wait."
"You... you should rest," she said, not meeting his eyes. "I'll go get you something to eat."
As she scurried away, he grinned. Heh, the harem route is back on track!
"That was quite a performance, Mo Wang."
He froze. Herta was standing behind him, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed, a smirk on her face. "For a second there, I almost believed you."
"Uh, how long have you been there?" he asked, a nervous sweat breaking out on his forehead.
"Long enough to hear you slander me. After I went out of my way to satisfy you last night and even cover for you this morning, this is how you repay me? Is that little girl all you think about? I'm so hurt." She sounded like a scorned lover from a cheesy soap opera.
"Uh, can I just say, thank you, Lady Herta, for your benevolence?" he said, bowing deeply. "You are the smartest, kindest woman in the universe!"
"Hmph, that's more like it," she said. "But this is the last time I'm covering for you. Next time, you're on your own."
"Yes, yes, of course, you're the best."
"Save it. We'll talk again when you let me see your giant robot." Just as March was returning, Herta vanished.
"Mo Wang! I'm back!" she said, panting, a tray of food in her hands.
Seeing her so concerned, he felt a pang of guilt. She was a little naive, but she was the one who cared about him the most. But the show must go on.
"March... you're too good to me," he said, his voice weak.
"Stop talking and eat," she said, helping him up. "I heard Herta tortured you all night. You must be starving."
"I'm not hungry. Let's just go back to the Express. I need to rest."
"Okay, I'll help you," she said, slinging his arm over her shoulder and supporting his weight as they walked.
Nice, he thought. The hardest part of conquering March was over. Now, all that was left was the final step.