"Conductor! I missed you so much!"
The moment they returned to the Express, Mo Wang and March 7th charged toward the cleaning Pom-Pom.
"Stay back! You two stink! Go take a shower, pom!" Pom-Pom brandished their broom, fending them off. They were filthier than a dog that had been rolling in the mud.
"Nooo! Without the comfort of the conductor's fluffy body, I...!"
"Waaah, the conductor thinks I'm dirty! I'm unclean!"
Pom-Pom seriously considered whacking them both with the broom. What did they think they were? A plush toy?
"Welcome back, Welt, Dan Heng. It seems you had quite an eventful trip," Himeko said, walking over and chuckling at the sight of the bandaged Welt.
"Don't even mention it. One more trip like that, and I'm done for," he sighed. He had severely underestimated Mo Wang's destructive potential. Compared to this, the trouble March and Dan Heng used to cause was nothing.
Himeko didn't press. The weary look in Welt's eyes told her everything she needed to know. "You can tell me the story later. Mo Wang, March, let go of the conductor and go get cleaned up."
Defeated, the two of them released the traumatized Pom-Pom.
"Sigh, back to my garbage dump," Mo Wang said, surveying his room, which was filled with cardboard boxes. It was, without a doubt, the worst living quarters of any Mo Wang in the multiverse.
It reminded him of that meme: 'All my friends live in luxury villas. I live in a dumpster on the street.'
He could only hope that the promised deluxe carriage would come with the next update. Then he could invite a few girls over for some all-night gaming sessions...
"Dreams are the only place where you can have everything," he muttered, and drifted off to sleep.
...And then he woke up, completely bewildered.
He was sitting in a chair, wearing an elegant suit and his V mask, surrounded by the sounds of... philosophy. It wasn't what you think, but it wasn't much better.
He was in a massive auditorium, surrounded by people in strange costumes and masks, all muttering odd things.
Masked Man A: "Brother, want some of the new stuff?"
Masked Man B: "Of course! How is it?"
Masked Man A: "Guaranteed to blow your mind."
Masked Man C: "Friend, long time no see. What have you been up to?"
Masked Woman D: "Nothing much. Blew a hole in a starship last week. Too easy, kind of boring."
Masked Man C: "I know, right? I stole a treasure from some family on a Harmony planet, and they're still searching for me on the planet, even though I've already left. People are so unchallenging these days."
Mo Wang: (ー`′ー)? What the hell? Am I dreaming again?
He was in a den of criminals. No, wait, they were all Masked Fools. That explained the unnerving conversations.
Where the hell am I? He had only slept three times in the past few days, and each time, it was a new brand of chaos. Couldn't a guy get a normal night's sleep?
And what was this place? A gathering of the most dangerous people in the universe? It wasn't an exaggeration.
The Masked Fools were a motley crew of con artists, rogue game developers, and, mostly, terrorists. They would do anything for a laugh.
"Dangerous" was an understatement. At least eighty percent of them were on every major faction's blacklist.
"Hey, brother, what is this place?" Mo Wang asked, grabbing a nearby person.
"Who are you? How did you get in here if you don't know what this is?" the man asked, looking at his V mask. "Never seen you before. You new?"
"Yeah, just joined a few days ago. What's going on?"
"You're lucky, kid. You joined just in time for the big event."
"Big event?"
"It's the Masked Fools' decennial awards ceremony. We give out awards for the best pranks and welcome new members."
"You have an awards ceremony?" It sounded like the annual villain convention from the DC universe.
"Of course! We have to keep things interesting, right? We have to learn from the best."
"Then why have I never heard of it?" It sounded more like a terrorist summit.
"Well... a few years ago, we might have gone a little too far, and the Galaxy Rangers started hunting us down exclusively. So... we skipped a few."
"What did you do to piss them off that much?"
"Ahem, that was before my time. I've only been a member for a few decades. I'm still a rookie here."
"So why is it happening now?"
"I'm not sure. I heard Aha said a very special new member had joined, so They organized this."
At that, Mo Wang's expression soured. This is all for me, isn't it? That damn Aha!
The lights dimmed, and upbeat music began to play.
"Everybody! Your Aha is here!"
A giant trash can descended from the ceiling, a familiar smiley-face mask plastered on its front.
"That's right! It's me, the one you all love! Let's hear some noise for your favorite Aeon!"
The crowd went wild. Mo Wang just stared. Is he addicted to being a trash can or something?
"Welcome, my family! After twenty-five years, two hundred and fifty days, two hundred and fifty hours, two hundred and fifty minutes, and two-point-five seconds, the Best Masked Fool Awards are back!" Aha's voice boomed. His eyes, hidden behind the mask, scanned the crowd and winked at Mo Wang, who felt a shiver run down his spine.
"First, for our opening act, please welcome the legendary game developer, the man who brings us joy and laughter, Mr. Giovanni!"
A white-haired man in a tri-colored mask walked onto the stage to thunderous applause.
"Thank you, thank you," he said, his voice deep and magnetic. "I am but a humble servant of Elation."
"Mr. Giovanni, your games are great, but they're so old! Do you have anything new?" someone from the crowd yelled.
"Of course, my friends! My latest creation, Aetherium Wars, is currently in beta testing! It will be released to the universe in... 2077! But you can pre-order now for the low, low price of 99,999 credits!"
The crowd booed.
Hey, I know that guy, Mo Wang thought. He's the one from the Pokemon event.
"Ahem, Mr. Giovanni is as witty as ever," Aha said, trying to save the situation. "And now, for our next guest! She is one of the brightest stars in our galaxy, a beacon of beauty and wit! Please welcome... the number one beauty of the Masked Fools—!!!"
Mo Wang shot to his feet. It has to be Sparkle! The bratty little gremlin is finally here!
"Sparkle! Sparkle! Sparkle!" the crowd chanted.
"That's right! Please welcome... Miss Vita!!!!"
Mo Wang: (ー`′ー)? Who the hell is Vita?!