["HALLELUJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"]
On the morning of the fifth day, I screamed so loud that even the router vibrated.
["H-hey, why are you screaming like that? Are you trying to scare us to death?"]
["Brother is noisy…"]
The two of them, who for some reason had decided that my room was the only habitable place in this house, complained in chorus. I held up the modem as if it were a holy chalice: all the celestial lights were on. Saint Wi-Fi, patron saint of the desperate.
["Kukuku… foolish girls, look! God has graced us with his presence."]
These were hard days. For a moment, I thought we wouldn't make it… That I wouldn't make it. But now everything will be fine. I can live. I can liiiiive.
["Awesome!"]
They jumped up with their phones in hand, wide smiles, a synchronized little hop.
["Yeah, yeah, awesome. Now get lost. I have work to do."]
I sat down in front of the computer, not erasing my smile.
For the first time in five days, the world made sense again. Not the one outside, the one with monsters and broken physics. Mine. The pretty one, with ads for gambling and wenches.
Look, I even got an ad for monster fight betting… Ahhh, blessed internet.
["…Heeeeeeey."]
["Big brother, give us the password."]
["Ahahaha… you silly things. Over my dead body."]
I logged into my account for the first time in days. It was worth surviving for. I controlled my withdrawal by annoying them, but I was at my limit.
["STAAAAAAAAAAAARE!"]
["Pfft, I'm not giving you the password."]
["B-but we can help gather information."]
["Yeah, we have looooots of friends…"]
["First: we already talked about those 'friends.' Second: I'm not interested in the contact list of some spinster office lady and a brat."]
[[Kuaaa!]]
Points for the rat kid.
["STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!"]
"Tsk…"
["Fine. I'll give you the neighbor's password: 45816584lsdue57581laodjas3wx."]
["How do you know your neighbor's password?!"]
["45816584… repeat that, I didn't get it all."]
["Sister, that's not fair!"]
Since they were being annoying, I wrote it down on a piece of paper and passed it to them.
["Now be good girls and keep quiet while your big brother works."]
[[Yeeees~!]]
There were no complaints. The internet is still more terrifying than any monster.
A couple of hours passed. I posted all the spoilers I could. I noticed problems on several anime, manga, and novel sites. The world is ending and these useless people get lazy.
Well. Priorities.
< Chat Channel: #Rat_Kid_Network >
RatKid1: Rat Kid 1 to Rat Kid Network, do you copy? Over.
RatKid3: 3 here. Glad you're not dead, 1.
RatKid6: 6 reporting in. We were worried, you weren't connecting.
RatKid2: 2 here. The network was down for almost everyone until last night. Your delay is surprising.
RatKid4: 4 here. What the hell happened? You better have a good reason.
RatKid10: I second 4.
The Rat Kid Network.
A group of miscreants whose sole purpose is to bring misery and despair to the world.
We gather information jointly to multiply the capacity and efficiency of our trolling.
You can only enter the network with our approval.
Before, I made the forum public to expose our information and let people comment or self-harm upon discovering uncomfortable truths (passive despair income).
But thanks to the idiots 5, 3, and 9, it ended up being shut down by governments all over the world.
Though it still exists on the dark web.
Anyway, these guys are a walking pain in the ass.
My precious family. GYAHAHAHAHA.
RatKid1: You want a good reason?
RatKid1: Take a look at my neighborhood's new recurring visitors.
RatKid1: [Attachment: Alba_ambulatis_N120.pdf]
...
RatKid4: Seriously? … I always knew Slender Man was real, but…
RatKid6: Talk about devaluing the property…
RatKid2: This isn't funny at all…
RatKid10: Rat Kid Leader, where did you get this information?
RatKid1: How many times? We rat kids are individualists. There are no leaders!
RatKid3: Yeah, yeah… but spit out the source, "not-leader" (lol).
RatKid2: Always worrying about unimportant things, Rat Kid Leader (lol).
RatKid6: Stop bothering Rat Kid Leader (lol), this is serious.
Sons of…
RatKid1-Astrad: Autonomous compilation, architect the beautiful me. Reason for its creation, my most chuunibyou phase (and I'm not ashamed of it at all). Now, less talk and more confirming information. If this turns out to be real… I don't have to say it, right?
I couldn't help but smile like an idiot in front of the screen, which seemed to have frozen.
I could almost hear the phantom echo of a dozen mouse clicks, the hum of processors analyzing data. Each member was right now dissecting my report, cross-referencing sources, looking for flaws.
Regardless of their foul mouths and annoying attitudes, these guys are genuinely trustworthy rat kids. We quickly gathered information to corroborate the reliability of the info in the journal.
This is who we are. We are rats.
RatKid4: …Okay. The source for the Berlin report. The file on D. Weber from 1995 is restricted access. How did you get it?
RatKid2: The victim's symptoms of internal pressure match a leaked report from a shelter in Valencia. I'm cross-referencing the data… This isn't funny at all…
RatKid3: The description of the movement matches the Slavic folklore of the "Skoczek." Looking for correlations. Can't say more.
RatKid6: My neighbor swore he saw one next to a streetlight. The light didn't scare it off. It just… waited.
RatKid10: So the "light" is just a deterrent, not a real weakness. Fire, maybe?
RatKid1-Astrad: They're theories for now. The PDF has just that, possible countermeasures. Don't do any stupid shit at night.
RatKid2: Too late for not doing stupid shit. I already turned off all the lights and put salt at the door… just in case.
RatKid4: Salt is for ghosts, you animal. This is a physical anomaly, not a specter. Read the fucking file.
RatKid6: Leave him alone. If the salt works, we owe him a pizza.
RatKid1-Astrad: If it works, you owe me two pizzas. And the neighbor's router.
< Rat Kid Network (consensus) >: We're screwed.
It was unanimous.