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Why use an ox-cleaver to carve a chicken?
Cologne goalkeeper Timo Horn said, feeling wronged, "I just want to avoid relegation."
"Is it really necessary to bombard me with a star destroyer's main cannon?"
In the 52nd minute of the second half, Lance fired the first shot of the counterattack with a Tiger Shot from a tight angle on the left side of the penalty area.
In the 79th minute, Lance had already completed four shots, and his fifth shot was a sudden strike from 33 metres outside the penalty area!
Timo Horn felt the fear of having a Type 99 main battle tank's main cannon pointed at his face for the second time.
1-2!
Lance scored twice to help Bayer Leverkusen complete the comeback!
The third goal came in the 88th minute, just before the end of the match.
Lance dropped back to the defensive midfield position, and when everyone was in the penalty area and no one was marking him, he dribbled, took two steps, and spent 2.5 seconds preparing his shot.
Another super long-range world-class goal!
A hat-trick!
1-3!
Bayer Leverkusen sealed the victory!
"Lance's Hat-Trick, Three Long-Range Bombs Secure Away Comeback, Bayer Leverkusen Continues to Pressure in league Standings"
"1-3 Comeback Victory! Lance Scores 3 Goals to Secure 3 Points! Bundesliga Title Race Remains Suspenseful!"
"He Is God! A Detailed Account of How Many Points Lance Has Secured Since His Bundesliga Debut"
"Bundesliga Title Race Heats Up! Bayern 3-0 Hertha Berlin, Cologne 1-3 Bayer Leverkusen! The Second Leg Between the Two Teams Will Be the Bundesliga Final!"
"30 matches, 38 goals, an average of over 1.08 goals per game."
"Everyone thought Lance's 42-goal record last season would be a miracle, an unrepeatable miracle."
"Everyone thought Lance would hit a sophomore slump, be studied and targeted by the entire Bundesliga, and they would desperately try to stop him from scoring."
"But the facts prove that Lance is unstoppable, and he still delivered an even better performance than last season."
"At the beginning of the league, Lance's sophomore year was indeed quite challenging, with several matches without scoring, and he was on the verge of losing himself amidst tight defences."
"But this young man cultivated progress with his tenacious willpower."
"If his weaker left-footed shots were unstable, he would practise his left foot relentlessly."
"If it was difficult to shoot during confrontations, he would practise confrontations relentlessly."
"If he wasn't good at long-range shots, he would practise long-range shots relentlessly."
"According to the Bayer Leverkusen club, Lance's extra training hours rank first in the entire Bundesliga!"
"Yesterday's match has already proven to the world that Lance's long-range shots are sufficiently threatening."
"The notion that 'Lance is less effective the further he is from the goal' is outdated!"
"Lance is making great strides towards becoming an all-around attacking player!"
"Scoring a hat-trick in a difficult match and helping the team continue to contend for the championship, Lance might also challenge his own 42-goal record this season."
"Next, the pressure is on Bayern Munich..."
In the changing room, Lewandowski threw down the Bild in his hand.
Thomas Müller looked at him in surprise.
"What's wrong? Did the news criticise you? Robert, you played brilliantly yesterday."
Lewandowski scored twice, helping Bayern defeat Hertha Berlin.
His goal tally had already reached 28 goals.
In previous Bundesliga seasons, Lewandowski would have been the undisputed Golden Boot winner, without any suspense.
However, in the past two years, the Bundesliga has had a monster.
Who single-handedly raised the conventional 30-goal mark to 40 goals!
"Ridiculous! Absolutely ridiculous!"
The thought of the huge 10-goal gap between him and Lance made an unidentifiable fire erupt within Lewandowski.
Thomas Müller glanced at the content on the newspaper, then looked at Lewandowski's expression and understood.
"Oh, mate."
Müller patted Lewandowski's shoulder. He knew how stubborn this brother was.
There was nothing he could do—Müller was the little sun of the whole team after all.
"Robert, I think this is a good opportunity."
"What opportunity?"
"The next match. A direct confrontation with Bayer Leverkusen."
Thomas Müller smiled confidently.
"What do you reckon our chances are against Bayer Leverkusen right now?"
"Actually, quite high. Our overall strength is better, their squad is thin, and they've been playing until now and are knackered."
Lewandowski's analysis was correct.
Bayern Munich's bench depth is deep enough, allowing them to comfortably fight on multiple fronts.
In contrast, Bayer Leverkusen uses the same lineup until death, and continuous double-game weeks have pushed everyone to the brink of collapse.
News has also been constantly circulating these past two days that defensive midfielder Lars Bender, full-back Nathan Aké, centre-back Van Dijk, and winger De Bruyne—many players have slight muscle strains.
This shows how fragile the Bayer Leverkusen squad is right now, like a tightrope walker. It looks very dangerous, and in reality, it truly is very dangerous.
"Just tell me—can we win the next match?"
"Definitely!"
Lewandowski proudly raised his head, looking up at the sky at a 45-degree angle.
Thomas Müller secretly chuckled, and didn't expose his pretentious behaviour, instead patting Lewandowski's shoulder.
"That's right! Robert, we really need you in the next match. As long as you perform normally, we'll definitely win the championship!"
"You don't need to tell me that!"
Lewandowski pouted, his secretly pleased expression having already betrayed his inner thoughts.
"Thomas, what are you chatting about with Robert?"
Seeing Thomas Müller struggling to keep a straight face, Lahm was a little curious.
"Nothing, Philipp. You just need to know that this family would fall apart without me sooner or later."
"??? That's inexplicable."
Lahm and Müller have been teammates for many years, both at Bayern and in the Germany national team, so he was already used to this goofball.
"Sascha, there have been recent rumours that several key players for Bayer Leverkusen have suffered injuries, which may affect their three-front title challenge."
"Today, against Dortmund in the German Cup semi-final, you fielded a partially rotated squad. Does this confirm media speculation that the team is indeed experiencing widespread injuries?"
"Well... injuries do exist. Several players have muscle strains."
"It's still unknown whether these key players will be able to play in the league match against Bayern this weekend, and the Champions League semi-final against Barcelona next midweek."
Before the German Cup semi-final, Bayer Leverkusen vs Borussia Dortmund battle, Sascha looked sombre at the press conference.
Bayer Leverkusen seemed to be on the verge of collapse.
This caused the reporters below to discuss animatedly.
"Really? Widespread injuries?"
"It's very possible. The Bild reporter took photos that day—Van Dijk went to a hospital in Cologne for an examination. If the injury wasn't serious, would he go to Cologne for an examination?"
"That makes sense, but what if it's a smokescreen?"
"Who knows. Anyway, even if it's a smokescreen, Bayer Leverkusen's recent form is indeed a bit dodgy."
"Then they're still fielding key players. If you ask me, they should just give up on the cup competition."
"They've made it to the semi-finals—who would give up easily?"
"If it were you, and Lina and Rosa had both gone on several dates, which one would you be willing to give up?"
"Nonsense!"
The reporter was flustered by his colleague's words.
But the principle was indeed the same.
Bayer Leverkusen is now in a difficult position—the Cup, the league, and the Champions League are all getting closer to the championship, and no one can refuse the temptation of a treble.
Even if Bayer Leverkusen is in a tough spot, they will definitely go all out and take a gamble!
Looking at today's starting lineup, the in-form Lance started the match.
This means that Bayer Leverkusen will definitely fight Borussia Dortmund to the end!