I leaned against the wall on the second floor, my breath finally slowing down as the adrenaline ebbed away. "HERO TEAM WINS!" All Might's voice still echoed in my ears, but all I could feel was the dull throb of half a dozen claw marks across my chest and arms. My fancy "High Roller" costume was officially ruined - torn in at least four places with small bloodstains spreading across the previously immaculate fabric.
Worth it.
Manga bounced around the hallway like a speech-bubble pinball.
"A TRULY SPECTACULAR BATTLE, RIVAL!" His face literally showed the words in bold print. "YOUR STRATEGY WAS AS UNEXPECTED AS A SUDDEN PLOT TWIST!"
I nodded absently, gaze drifting to the women walking ahead of us. Yuzuriha had been untied from my capture tape and was now stretching her arms overhead with languid, feline grace. Her tail swished behind her with what looked like... satisfaction? Next to her, Momo walked with rigid posture, her face flushed crimson as Yuzuriha leaned close to whisper something in her ear.
I glanced at Manga's ridiculously earnest speech-bubble head, then back at the two women ahead of us. Yuzuriha, who'd nearly gutted me with those retractable claws while purring threats directly into my ear. Momo, who'd fired a cannon on poor Manga.
Note to self: The women in this class are terrifying. Do not, under any circumstances, get on their bad side.
"You were quite the formidable opponent," I told Manga, finding my voice at last. "That sticky word-wall I saw was clever."
"GRATITUDE!" His face displayed with actual sparkles around the letters. "Though Yaoyorozu-san's cannon was the ULTIMATE POWER MOVE!"
I couldn't help but smirk at that. "Yeah. The Princess surprised me too."
We turned the corner and approached the main monitoring room where the rest of the class awaited. I could already hear the buzz of excited voices. Manga pushed open the door and practically bounced inside, while I took a steadying breath before following.
The chatter died instantly as I stepped through the doorway. Twenty pairs of eyes locked onto me with laser focus.
"Dude!" Kaminari was the first to break the silence, his eyes wide as dinner plates. "What was that?! It looked less like a fight and more like..."
Mineta was practically drooling, his small hands making grabbing motions in the air. "Yeah! Tell us everything! Did you get a good feel?! What's a catgirl like up close?!"
I felt a headache forming behind my eyes. Of course they'd focus on that part.
"Were those real claws?" Kirishima asked, looking both concerned and impressed. "She really did a number on you, man."
Toru's floating gloves clenched into tight fists, the fabric straining over invisible knuckles. "Yeah, Yukio-kun, you two looked... really close."
"Spill the tea!" Mina Ashido bounced on her toes, pink skin practically glowing with excitement. "What were you two whispering about when she had you pinned?!"
I caught Bakugo's murderous glare from the corner of the room and Todoroki's completely uninterested gaze from another. At least some people had their priorities straight.
"We were engaged in high-level tactical psychological warfare," I said, keeping my face a mask of complete seriousness. "It was a battle of wits."
"It looked more like a battle of hips," Kaminari muttered, earning several snickers.
All Might coughed loudly, his massive form looking strangely uncomfortable. "YES, WELL! Let's analyze this match properly, shall we? The teamwork displayed was SPECTACULAR!"
He moved to the control panel and began tapping buttons. "Let's review some key moments to better understand—"
To my absolute horror, the main screen lit up with footage of my struggle with Yuzuriha. Worse, the sound was on full blast.
"You're too stiff, pretty boy," Yuzuriha's voice purred through the speakers. "You need to learn to relax and enjoy the moment."
I watched myself on screen, backing away with a playing card held between my fingers. "Sorry, kitty-cat. I prefer to be the one on top."
The real Yuzuriha, now standing by the window, stretched languidly and shot me a wink. On screen, she lunged forward, pinning me against a wall with surprising strength.
"Why don't you just give in?" Her recorded voice was a sultry whisper. "I promise I'll be gentle."
The room went dead silent. Jaws hung open. Kaminari and Mineta were staring at me with a look of pure, unadulterated worship. Toru's gloves were clenched into tight fists. Jiro had her hand over her mouth, shoulders shaking with suppressed laughter.
I forced myself not to look at Momo, but couldn't help catching her expression from my peripheral vision. She stared at the screen, face draining of color, then turned to look at me with an expression that was equal parts confusion, betrayal, and something I couldn't quite read.
Fuck. This looked bad. Really bad.
"I was creating a distraction," I said to nobody in particular.
"You sure were," Kaminari muttered, earning an elbow from Jiro.
I knew anything I said would only dig the hole deeper. So instead, I leaned back in my chair, crossed my arms over my chest, and started whistling a jaunty, completely off-key tune while staring at the ceiling tiles as if they contained the secrets of the universe.
When in doubt, plead the fifth.
"SO!" All Might practically shouted, his voice strained. "WHO WAS THE MVP OF THIS MATCH?!"
The class erupted again, this time in debate rather than interrogation.
"Yaoyorozu!" Iida's hand chopped the air with mechanical precision. "Her creation of a cannon showed incredible adaptability and control!"
"No way, it was Murano!" Kaminari countered. "He took on the most dangerous opponent and kept her busy long enough for Yaoyorozu to get to the weapon!"
"But Yaoyorozu's strategy was what won them the match," Asui pointed out, finger on her chin. "She created all their equipment too, kero."
"Yeah, but Murano's... distraction technique was what gave her the opening," Mina argued, waggling her eyebrows suggestively.
I continued my intense study of the ceiling, noting a particularly interesting water stain in the corner. Fascinating stuff, really.
"Midoriya!" All Might cleared his throat, a sound like distant thunder that instantly silenced the room. "What's your analysis?"
Broccoli jumped in his seat, startled at being called on. "M-me? Well, I-I-I think..." He stammered, then took a deep breath. Something shifted in his posture, and suddenly his voice became clear and confident.
"I think it was both of them," he began. "Murano-kun understood he couldn't win a direct fight, so he played a role designed to exploit his opponent's personality, buying time. Yaoyorozu-san used that time to deconstruct her opponent's Quirk with flawless logic and then created a perfectly timed signal that allowed them to coordinate the final pincer movement without communicating. They weren't two individuals; they were a single tactical unit."
The room fell silent again, this time with impressed looks directed at Midoriya. He seemed to suddenly realize everyone was staring at him and immediately turned red, devolving back into a stuttering mess.
"A-at least, that's what I think, maybe, I don't know..."
"EXCELLENT ANALYSIS!" All Might boomed, looking relieved to be back on educational ground. "I declare both Young Murano and Young Yaoyorozu as the MVPs of this match!"
He turned to me, his signature smile not quite reaching his eyes. "Young Murano, those are some nasty cuts! You should visit Recovery Girl immediately!"
"Sure," I said, grateful for an excuse to escape this interrogation chamber.
As I headed for the door, All Might coughed. "And perhaps... a guide? To make sure you don't get lost on the way?"
I froze mid-step. Fuck! Even All Might knows? That damn Present Mic and his big mouth.
"I don't think—"
"I will escort him, All Might," Momo stepped forward, her expression determined. "As his partner, it is my responsibility to ensure he receives proper medical attention."
"I should go too," Yuzuriha stretched gracefully. "After all, I'm the one who 'tagged' him. It's only fair I see him to the nurse."
They both moved to stand beside me at the door - Momo on my right, rigid and protective, Yuzuriha on my left, languid and possessive. All Might looked like he'd aged ten years in ten seconds.
"Ah, well, two guides might be... CARRY ON!" he managed, tugging at his collar.
I caught Jiro's smirk and Midoriya's confused expression as the door closed behind us. The hallway fell silent except for our footsteps.
"So," I drawled after we'd gone about twenty paces. "Anybody want to tell me which way the infirmary actually is? Because I have absolutely no idea."
Momo sighed deeply. "Left at the next junction, down two floors, then right."
"You know," Yuzuriha purred, her tail brushing against my leg, "those scratches might need special attention. Feline claws can be quite... problematic."
"They're superficial," Momo said sharply. "Recovery Girl will heal them in seconds."
"But the memory will last much longer," Yuzuriha replied, winking at me. "Won't it, Yukio-kun?"
I looked from one to the other, caught between Momo's icy protectiveness and Yuzuriha's sultry provocation. This was going to be a very long walk indeed.
"Ladies," I said with a theatrical sigh, "while I appreciate the concern for my well-being, I feel I should point out that neither of you has asked how I'm feeling about all this."
"How are you feeling?" they asked simultaneously, then glared at each other.
I grinned, my confidence returning. This I could work with.
"Like the luckiest guy at U.A.," I replied, draping my arms over both their shoulders, "being escorted by the two most dangerous women in our class."
Momo stiffened but didn't pull away. Yuzuriha leaned into the contact, purring softly.
"You know," I continued conversationally, "most people would be traumatized after being used as a scratching post, but I consider it valuable field experience. Know your enemies and all that."
"We're not enemies," Yuzuriha corrected, her tail swishing playfully. "Just... competitive classmates."
"With very different approaches to heroism," Momo added pointedly.
We reached the stairwell, and I reluctantly removed my arms from their shoulders to navigate the steps. My cuts stung as we descended, reminding me that beneath all the classroom drama, we were training for a profession where pain was part of the package.
"In all seriousness," I said, my voice dropping the teasing tone, "you both were impressive out there. Princess, that cannon was inspired. And Yuzuriha... you're legitimately terrifying. I respect that."
Momo's cheeks colored slightly at the praise. "Thank you. Your distraction strategy was... effective, if unorthodox."
"Very effective," Yuzuriha agreed with a sharp-toothed smile. "Though next time, I won't be so easily... distracted."
We reached the infirmary door, and I paused with my hand on the handle. "You know, something tells me this is just the beginning of a very complicated semester."
Momo straightened her already perfect posture. "We're at U.A. to learn and grow as heroes. Nothing more."
Yuzuriha's tail curled around her own leg. "Speak for yourself, Princess. Some of us believe in enjoying the journey."
I pushed open the door, ready to face Recovery Girl's inevitable lecture about recklessness. Behind me, I could practically feel the tension crackling between my two escorts.
This wasn't just complicated.
This was a full-blown disaster in the making.