"The early memory of my childhood was running in a dark path just to hug my mom and dad in another side. When I finally managed to cross that path, I was stunned seeing a small baby girl. As I walked towards them ,my smile faded slowly as I saw them being happy and embracing that little girl. But I was too angry seeing them like that so I went quietly towards my grandma . Honestly I felt betrayed." I said it to myself in front of a mirror. As tears runs by my face, I gently wipe it out with my hands.
It's been almost 5 years since I cut all the contacts with my family. Even thought I could take a breath so without the feeling of suffocation. I am still not happy. Well I'm broke and nearly homeless for the second time. If only I could go back to past and take some valuables before living my parents' house.
I pulled my hair and started laughing like crazy, saying "Why the hell do I have to be such a sociopath??"
I took deep breath realizing if I don't get myself together as I have nowhere to go. So I snapped out and took a bath.
After getting ready, I decided to hunt for a job but only jobs that were available was putting my body on line. I was so desperate that I might have done that but I remember my grandma saying our body is our temple so we should take care of our body too.
I sigh and bang my head in the table. I questioned my grandmothers teaching. Eventually, I would have accepted that job but I thought my grandma would come out of grave to kill me so I had to politely decline the offer.
Then I was back on the subway. I screamed "why do I have to deal with this?"
I could feel the strangers glaring at me. I couldn't have cared less. I was deep down into the pit hole to care about what someone will think about me.
The way drowning seems so peaceful then living the life I have right now.
As I was just thinking what should I do next I heard someone calling my name.
"luniar… luniar..luniar" a stranger screamed.
I got scared and ran away from that person. I looked back to conform whether that person was someone I knew or not. But the only thing I saw us a black hat, a face which was covered with mask and oversize hoodie.
I thought that person was someone from the sketchy place I went to for a job.
"P-Please, don't chase me. My organs aren't fit to be sold. I haven't eaten anything for a week. The only thing you will find is damage organs" I screamed as I ran faster.
That person said "You sack, you think I'm a kidnapper. I am kinuki . You could not recognize me . huhh???"
I stopped running as I heard a familiar name. Kinuki was my childhood friend whom I ghosted when I was in 6 grade.
As I turn back to see him clearly, he bumped into me and we both fell in ground.