I don't even know his name.
My hands feel clammy despite them also being red from the winter weather. And my eyes constantly dart back to him when I try to shift my focus elsewhere.
He takes notice of me when he sees me looking his way, I feel foolish with how my face gets hotter when he waves at me.
I open my phone, stare at the home screen for a second. Move my screen to the left, then twice to the right. And ultimately, just turn off my phone again when I find nothing interesting.
The warmth of my own body heat makes my eyelids heavy, and oddly enough, I momentarily don't look to see what he's doing.
The rush of wanting to yawn hits me like a truck. But I don't want to agape my mouth disrespectfully. However the way I'm currently sitting is awfully comfortable, and moving my hand to cover my mouth will ruin the perfect position.
Suddenly I have my mind set on clenching my mouth shut, as if it were the Olympics.
Trying to suppress it makes me feel even more sluggish, but luckily the ringing voice of the announcer through the speaker jolts me awake every time.
But that doesn't work for long, and my eyelids slightly narrow. The warmth of the cap envelops me into a cosy world, despite the slithers of cold air reaching inside the pockets where my hands were hidden.
I lean back on the bench, squeezing my face under the high collar that my hood was attached to. The breeze makes my branded cap fall a little loose, but I'm indifferent to it.
I'll rest my eyes just for a moment. And that's the Number 1 mistake any Uni student makes.
I know better than to shut my eyes, claiming to just rest them. Luckily nature has its own plans, and throws a gust of wind at me, taking my hat with it.
I feel the cold cling to my exposed head, and my hat placing itself on the concrete in front of me.
Reluctantly, I skim my fingers over the hem of my sleeves in my pockets, and with much needed effort I let out a sigh and swing myself up off of the bench. My feet feel uncomfortably heavy, but only having my hair to shield my head feels even more uncomfortable.
Plus, laziness doesn't get me anywhere, and losing this cap means losing an hour's worth of pay check to simply buy a new one. More losses than gains here…
Despite it being only 2 metres away, it feels like I need to cross the Grand Canyon to get to it.
However, my idea of placing my foot on my cap to prevent it from flying away is halted by a familiar hand picking up my cap for me.
Just when I finally get my mind to calm down about him, here he is once again, making me feel lovestruck again, treating me as if I were someone precious again.
I'm startled to see him kneeling to pick up my cap for me, that all I do I stare wide-eyed as he wraps both his hands around the hat. And in a panic once I come to my senses, I force my mouth open, blurting out the first thing I had on my mind.
"You don't need to do that! Thank you though!" I blabber aloud, each word joining with the next.
"Oh, don't w-" He starts, but my body moves to snatch the cap out of his hands, and I hold it to my chest.
We just make eye-contact in silence and guilt runs on my mind when his expression shows he's taken aback by what I just did.
He moves his hand to the back of his neck, his eyes averting downwards as he says "Sorry, I'm guessing it's got some sentimental value…"
His voice trails off, and my mind starts running rampant, not actually searching for responses, but mainly because I want to cry right now from the embarrassment I've just inflicted upon myself.
"Wai-"
My mind stutters as I want to begin to speak, so automatically my first word comes off as a repetition.
"Wait! Sorry! I didn't mean to!"
He raises his head to make eye-contact with me, making it clear he's listening to me. I stop talking for a second, as if my voice was buffering.
"What I mean is that- You picked the hat off the floor, which is probably musty, rusty and crusty-"
My legs want to give out realising what I just said.
"-Altogether…"
I can't stop my face from cringing slightly.
"So I'd rather not have you dirty your hands, for this just-as-crusty cap."
His face begins to smile, as if he wants to laugh. And then he slowly nods. So me being awkward enough already, I continue to talk… for whatever reason.
"But now I've realised that my reaction was completely unnecessary since you already picked the cap off of the musty-rusty-crusty floor and my snatching was completely uncalled for, absolutely horribly done and for that I am really really REALLY sorry."
I lower my head, and my torso for that matter into a bow, making sure my head faces the floor as I bite my lip trying to stop myself from bawling my eyes out right, and maintain the slither of dignity I had remaining.
I can hear him chuckle, so I raise my head a little as he says:
"Right, right! But that still doesn't explain why you're holding that cap as if it were your voodoo doll?"
He trails off into another chuckle, one that I think made my heart skip a beat.
I look down at the embraced cap in my hands.
"Oh- No, no! This hat is just some stupid cap from where I work!" I say, waving my hand with the cap flying back and forth in my grip.
"I have to wear it during work hours, and I just kinda keep it on since it's actually really comfy."
I can see his eyebrow twitch and rise as I speak, the more I think about how well I notice these sorts of details, the more I consider the fact that I'm real big creep and I should probably be put into some sort of isolation.
"Ah so you work at Linda's Café?! And here I always thought you were a fan who bought their merch."
Great to know my train station crush thought I was an obsessive café girl ever since he's seen me wear my uniform.
I have a friend who really likes going to basically any café that starts with Linda, which is why that was my first…"
His eyes shifted, "Wha'd'ya'ma call it..?" to the sky, "...Investigation?" as if he were in a deep thought.
"Interpretation?" I say, with my useless habit of finishing people's sentences.
He puts his eyes back onto me, sparkling as if he just won the lottery.
"Yes! That's the word!" His hands clasping together, "But sorry about that! I should come visit you at work sometime."
My mind stutters as he speaks. He makes it sound like we've known each other since forever, and that him coming to see me is just part of his daily routine.
"Visit me?" I mutter quietly. I didn't necessarily mean for him to hear that, it was more of me speaking my thoughts aloud.
"Sorry," His voice now sounding a little lower, "Was that too forward?"
Too forward, not at all. I'm just the introverted one who doesn't understand social cues.
But I wasn't able to actually say that. It'd sound like I'm trying to bring myself down for attention, and even if he doesn't think that's the case, I think I'm physically unable to say it.
Throughout this whole conversation I've been having with him, my body and mind are not connected in any way. It's making me do stupid things, and I'm making my second impressions worse than ever.
I realise he's been watching me patiently, waiting for an answer. Instead here I am staring off into space, having so much internal conflict that it could be labelled as World War 3.
"I tend to be a little too comfortable around strangers, sorry for making you uncomfortable!"
He acknowledges, seemingly softer, but still using his resonating loud voice.
I finally muster up a few words to let out.
"No, you didn't make me uncomfortable." With a deep breath I continue, deciding that this will probably be my last chance to get close with him.
"I just, just get a little startled when someone suddenly starts talking with me."
His head nods slowly, as if he were listening to a business proposal.
"Oh! I'm not saying that I dislike people talking to me, in fact I really like talking with people-"
I add on frantically, since I don't want him to leave thinking I'm an anti-social adult. He chuckles, once again, but this time it feels more relaxed.
"So is that your way of saying you don't mind me dropping by?" His head that's plastered with the same wide grim tilts to my left as he speaks, which I think might've almost sent me into cardiac arrest from my heart working overtime right now.
I do my best to compose myself, and try to stop myself from looking any more nervous than I am already. "Drop by… And I'll give a discount to you for that day's special."
I insist, sounding far more confident than I ever have talking to a stranger that isn't one of my customers. At least not yet that is.
"With that offer then, I absolutely have to go, no choice about it, huh?" He runs a hand through his hair, which gracefully falls back in place. "Do you guys do the name things that Bartrucks does?"
I ponder for a moment, loosening the strong grip on my cap, "Where we write names on the cups?"
"That's the one!" His hands slam together, making a loud clap sound right after his exclamation.
For whatever reason, I feel the corners of my mouth curl into a faint smile. "Yes, we do in fact."
I watch his back straighten at my response.
"Perfect!" He sounds more excited than I think I am. As if the discount is not the only thing he wants.
"Remember the name Aston, Aston Leece." His voice quieter than before, just above a whisper as if his name is confidential.
I felt my breath hitch. Aston. The name really suits him.
He puts his hands on his hips, and with my back not-so-hunched-over anymore from my prior embarrassing moments, I realise how he's only 2 or 3 inches taller than me. From the distance he seemed much taller.
Not that it matters, not a point of charm is lost anyways.
Before I can reply, the sound of a train cutting through the wind interrupts, and he turns his head around as it passes by. It was the same recognisable train he always took at this hour.
"Well I'll see you then!"
His voice aware, and noticeably feeling more powerful, as if he is going to keep his word with the wide grin that spreads across his face.
I brush off a bit of dust from the brim of my match-making hat and fasten it onto my head and look at him with a returning smile, and a subtle farewell wave.
"Yes!" I sound a little too excited, "Until then."