Those tunnels were made of clear crystal, umm, probably literal fucking diamonds, so they were sure as hell durable enough to withstand her insanely fast jet-like movements! Within what seemed like a moment, she was already shooting out of another pool that was on the northeastern corner of the yard! She swam up the small waterfall and did a backflip, blowing pretty bubbles up into the sky, which popped with loud explosions!
Fortunately, she was outside this time and the sound was able to dissipate a lot better. It was more like firecrackers than handgrenades. It was so elegant and beautiful… And then she got hit in the face with a green leaf and plopped down on the water, floating up and down on the rippling surface like a dead fish…
"Leaf~! Eon~!" Leah was standing proudly in the middle of the yard, surrounded by lots of tall grasses and weeds that were lush considering how chilly it was outside now. Almost February and damn near freezing, but the yard was surprisingly warm. Those Vaporeon pools were giving off a lot of steam in the cold weather. The ground was very warm in general.
The sun that shines on our yard is always a lot more intense than other places. The geothermal activity in the area was also a lot higher than it used to be in the past. I'm gonna be fucking pissed if my house gets destroyed by a volcanic eruption or geyser. For now though, it seems like a good thing.
Anyway, Leah didn't have time to be proud for long, before she got dizzy and wobbled around in confusion. Then she was lifted up into the air shivering from the cold wind! The poor Grass Type wasn't even hit by a Flying or Ice Type move, but just the cold wind was able to nearly incapacitated her Leafeon ass!
"Lea~! Leaf~!" She cried out in surrender and then fell down into the soft grass, where she was nice and warm. Leah quickly scampered off into the berry bushes along the eastern wall to hide. Not Pokemon Berries. At least not yet. But we did have fig trees, raspberries, rawberries, grape vines, all sorts of veggies and fruits. Yes, I know we're rich and can afford to just buy shit from the store. But will the food from the store be as delicious or nutritious as the food suffused with Pokemon Energy that we grew ourselves?
No, obviously not. That was a rhetorical question. Normal animals and plants don't have Pokemon Energy. They can be digested and broken down into Pokemon Energy by Pokemon though. According to Mew, the Berries and Pokemon have a symbiotic relationship.
The Berries need Pokemon to guard and fertilize them. Then the Pokemon need the Berries to get stronger more safely and easily. Of course, the Berries are also delicious and have various powerful supernatural, beneficial properties, like what can be seen in the games and animation. Not only on Pokemon, but also on humans.
"Espeon~!(Daddy~!) Ess~!(Aaah~!)" Evelyn didn't have time to be proud for long either. A shadowy figure appeared behind her back and smacked her on the back with a terrifying claw wreathed in darkness! She yelped and flipped over onto her side, spasming for a few seconds before foaming at the mouth very overdramatically and rolling her bright purple eyes into the back of her pretty head.
"Mother! Are you okay?!" My stupid son came out of stealth and hugged the Espeon, "Mother! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry~! Aaah~!"
And then he got kicked in the balls by his mom. Only a moment later, he was pressed onto his back and slapped in the face dozens of times by those soft yet powerful kitty-cat paws!
"Vae-vae-vae~!" My Vaporeon daughter was clapping her hands like a happy seal and watching from the side of the nearest pool. Clearly recovered from 'fainting' earlier. Well, it is true that Grass Type hurts Water Types more. But it doesn't mean a single fucking leaf will knock them unconscious.
"Hitmon-Hitmonchan!"
Mew was in the form of a Hitmonchan, wearing red boxing gloves and a white tunic. Yes, she was wearing actual clothes. She was actually male, but her genitals were inside of her body to avoid having them flap around like mine were.
I wore boxers and black shorts, along with a white t-shirt. That's it. No gloves, because it was meaningless. Also, I didn't have gloves. I just never really thought I'd need boxing gloves or anything like that. I think I might have had some old MMA-style gloves from way back when, but I left most of that kinda shit back at my old house. Probably still sitting in that creepy basement somewhere, because we still own the house.
"Ralts~! Ralts-ralts~!(Daddy~! Be careful~!)" My adorable little Ralts daughter was worried about me. She was still pretty young and tiny. 1 foot tall, she still had 4 inches to go before she was at the 'max height' for a normal Ralts. Gothita was 4 inches taller than her and looked a lot bigger standing next to the little girl in the white dress. That thick green hair was in a long bowl cut, which is the natural state of her hair. With two red half-discs sticking out of the front and back of her head. Those nubby hands were covered by the same cloth as her dress.
"Don't worry, Alice, I'll be fine. Hopefully." I smiled wryly and looked at Mew who was way too fucking into this shit. She was dancing around me and shadowboxing, getting ready for the big battle.
Mew was a foot shorter than me and a lot scrawnier-looking, but 'he' was also a Pokemon designed for combat. With an incredibly low 'HP', Hitmonchan shouldn't be very powerful. Theoretically. He also couldn't really use Pokemon Moves, or at least, Mew wouldn't use them on me. Because that wouldn't be very 'fun'. No, not just fun. When she takes on the form of a Pokemon, she often has some of their habits and traits.
Hitmonchan is a fucking boxer. He plays by the rules. He fights fair. He doesn't hit below the belt and he wouldn't try to kill me, hopefully.
"Alright, come on!" I moved to the side and Mew turned her punch to try to hit me in the face, but I ducked back. I tried to grab her wrist, but she pulled her arm back and punched towards my face from a different angle! Each attack at my face was a straight at an angle and incredibly fast!
"Fuck-fuck-shit!" I had to start blocking with my elbows and got clipped a few times on the sides of my face, then she punched me in the gut, but I hardened my abs to endure it the best I could. I didn't try kicking, because that would be against the rules and she might also decide to punch me in the dick or balls as retaliation.
"Ralts~!" Alice cheered for me as I finally landed a punch on Mew's surprisingly hard, flat forehead! Those big blue eyes looked at me seriously and there was a smirk on those thin lips.
"Hit~!" Mew shouted as she darted around, pushing my arms away, she suddenly punched me in the mouth! Then the chest, the gut, the chest, the face again, the cheek, the nose, the forehead-It was only a few seconds but I was 'tapped' a dozen times! The damage was actually pretty minimal, but it hurt like a bitch!
"Ow!" I groaned and felt my adrenaline surging even more than before! It reminded me of when I was a kid. No, a teenager, technically. Maybe thirteen to seventeen. That was when I was strongest before now.
When I used to fight with friends for fun. When I did a lot of stupid shit, which literally could have gotten me crippled or killed. Never drank, smoked or did any drugs, but I did almost drown a lot of times. And broke a few important bones in my hands that never healed properly.
I looked into those serious and 'happy' blue eyes, smiling back at my wife. Even if my lip was busted, I didn't give a shit! I wasn't even horny! I just wanted to fight!
This was it! This was Fighting Energy, right?! Or maybe it's just adrenaline and brain damage? Either way, I somehow dodged a few rapid punches and landed a couple powerful hits on her face. Then I finally grabbed her wrist! That 110 pound body was heavier than it looked, but still much lighter and smaller than mine!
"Fuck~!" I moved faster than I thought possible! With my heart pounding, it almost felt like time slowed down! I mean, it didn't, but you get the point.
I tripped her leg, I slammed her down onto the dirt, she punched up at me, but I was punching down… Thankfully I managed to avoid getting hit in the dick or balls. But even though I hit her in the mouth, cheek and even her eyes with a lot of strength, I probably hurt my knuckles and hands more than she hurt me throughout the whole fight.
"Hitmon-chan~!" Mew took my hand and smiled as I helped him up. My knuckles and lips were bleeding. There were also some bad bruises across my chest, arms, abdomen and obviously my face. But it didn't hurt as bad as I expected. Mostly just the hands. Hope I didn't break anything.
"Are you really okay?" I smiled wryly and hugged the little guy, platonically for once. I wasn't really horny after that shit. My heart was still racing and once my adrenaline calmed down, I'd probably start 'feeling' the fight more seriously.
"Hitmonchan." Mew retorted, "Better than you."
"True. Ugh…" I felt a little dizzy and nauseous, so I walked over and sat down on my rocking chair. Breathing out a long sigh.
"Daddy~! I was so scared!(Ralts~! Ralts~!)" My precious baby hopped or floated up onto my lap and hugged my neck, rubbing her big white face against my sore chest. That hard, yet sensitive disk jutting out of the front of her head was touching my chin a few times, causing her whole body to spasm…
"Goth." Gothita spoke calmly as she ignored me and focused more on the battle between Midnight and his Mom. Evelyn tried to use Psychic attacks, but they weren't very effective, while the Umbreon had to struggle not to use too much strength and actually hurt his own mother. So the two of them were somewhat even in their fight.
Vaevae and Princess Leah were fighting as well. The play fight from earlier was just a joke, but now they were somewhat serious. With Leah manipulating the plants inside the pools to attack Vae, but underwater, she was practically invincible.
Seriously, Vae's body transformed into 'water' and could avoid attacks like she was a motherfucking Logia Fruit user in One Piece. Maybe she got the idea from watching One Piece? Either way, she was super OP and there wasn't much Leah could do…
Even when Vaevae jumped out of the water to attack her sister, she was still able to 'elementalize' her body to avoid getting hit by physical attacks. The Grass Type Energy on the Leaf Blades could act like Haki, but only if she didn't move her 'body' out of the way before the attack hit.
It was pretty fucking badass. Though none of their movements were as stupidly fast as the bullshit in One Piece. Maybe that would change as they got stronger, but for now at least, none of my kids could 'dodge bullets'.
Vaevae could turn herself into water and completely ignore most bullets though. Midnight can blend into the shadows and even teleport short distances through the darkness. Evelyn can also teleport, use telekinesis, mind control people, create illusions… Leah can control plants? Okay, she hasn't really learned any super over powered tricks yet, but she'll get there.
Gothita can predict the future. Among other random Psychic abilities, her Future Sight and Future Prediction type powers were particularly intense. Ralts, in the future, should be able to manipulate gravity enough to create black holes… Or something like that. I'm not sure exactly how that bullshit is supposed to work. But all Psychics are OP in various ways.
Of course, Mew is probably the most overpowered of all, since she can become any Pokemon. Including the Holy Alpaca himself, Lord Arceus the adorable and sexy. She can also turn into the Poke-Personification of Space and Time. And Antimatter? Well, Giratina was banished to the Distortion World or something. The Reverse Side of the Pokemon World. The Renegade Pokemon. If it wasn't too big, I wouldn't mind trying to fuck Mew-Giratina and make a cute baby Giratina…
"Mew~!" Hitmonchan transformed back into a cute pink cat and started nuzzling against my face, her tail wrapped around my sore neck. Then she licked the blood from my cheeks and lips, showing a perverted smile. Or maybe all her cute smiles seem perverted to me now that I've gotten to know my wife so well?
"Daddy, you should drink some milk!(Ralts, ralts!)" Alice tried to heal me, but her powers were relatively weak at the moment. She was still so young. Instead, she used her telekinesis to pull over a plastic bottle filled with milk and tried to get me to drink.
"Thanks Baby, you're so adorable." I could barely see those glowing pink eyes behind her strands of thick green hair. I drank the creamy liquid and immediately realized it wasn't from a Miltank. No, it wasn't Hitmonchan 'milk' either. It tasted more like Evelyn. But I didn't think she saved up so much milk.
"Mew-mew~!" Of course it was from Mew. She's always lactating. Whenever she has nipples, they're leaking.
"Well, thanks Mew. And Alirce of course." I kissed my wife and hugged our daughter after drinking the rest of the bottle of 'Espeon Milk'.
I already felt a lot better! Though that might change after I wake up tomorrow.